Page 32 of A Match Made In Evan
He waggles his eyebrows and coos, “What about paramour? Flame? Love muffin?”
It’s impossible to keep a straight face. I slap a hand over my mouth to contain the bark of laughter that just attempted to escape. “Stop it,” I hiss at him. “Mia’s home.”
Even though the seriousness of our conversation has passed, his jovial mood shifts back into a softer one. “How is she?”
“Better. Back at school…until Friday, anyway. Then it’s school holidays for two weeks.”
“You want me to take some time off to hang out with her? I’ve got heaps of leave…what?”
I’m sure I’m the human personification of the heart-eyed emoji right now. “I love you,” I tell him, as if my face isn’t giving all my thoughts away. I grasp the back of his neck and tug him towards me, crushing my lips to his in a kiss that has been building up for over twenty years.
There’s no guilt this time. No fear. No worries that he will find out my sad, sordid secret feelings for him. Because they’renotsad, or sordid, or even a secret anymore.
I kiss him with every ounce of elation and liberation I feel. For the first time ever, I am being completely honest with myself and with him. The fact that he reciprocates my long-held feelings is almost unbelievable.
His fingers in my hair and the gentle way he’s pushing me onto my back are so real, though. His breath, turning ragged and needy against my lips, is real. The scratch of his beard against my day’s growth of stubble is real. And his erection rubbing up next to mine isveryfucking real.
“Can you be quiet?” I ask him when he groans and ruts against me. “Because if you can’t, we’re gonna have to stop for now.”
“Fuck,” he mutters, still rocking his hips, “we’re not stopping…but I need you naked.”
I prop up on my elbows. “Naked?” In all the weeks we’ve been pretending to be best friends with benefits, we’ve stayed dressed in one way or another. Cocks have been exposed, jerked off, rubbed against each other and sucked, but we’ve never been completely without clothes.
I can’t help feeling like a virginal teenager again, suddenly unsure of my dad bod next to his athletic one.
Ev sits back up on his knees between my spread legs, resting his butt on his heels while he strokes his hands over my thighs and calves. “Jay…baby, you know I’ve seen you naked a million times.”
“Yeah, but…”
I wasn’t trying to turn him on then.That was just guys getting changed after gym sessions, or beach days, or that one ill-fated game of squash he made me play.Thisis different.
“The only butt I want to hear about is yours. Or—no.” He smirks. “Mine. When you fuck it.”
“Jesus Christ, Ev.”
“Not tonight,” he adds, probably able to read my trepidation at havingthatsprung on me on top of everything else tonight. “I’dwant time to prepare. Clean house properly and stuff, y’know? And…I love Mimi, but…”
“I get it. I’d rather have the house to ourselves, too. At least for the first time. Assuming you like it enough for other times.” My eyes widen as another thought hits me, adding to my fear that he won’t find my body sexy enough. “What if I’m bad at it? What if…Ev, what if we don’t like it?”
“Then we don’t like it,” he shrugs.
“But…” my throat tightens up with mounting panic and, despite my best efforts, I sound like I’m on the verge of tears when I continue, “how could we stay together if we don’t like the sex?”
“Anal isn’t the only way to have sex.”
“But—”
“Have you enjoyed the bjs? The handies? Rubbing off against each other?”
I nod, my cheeks burning. “But…I haven’t…y’know…”
“If you can’t talk about sex, Jay, you shouldn’t be having it,” he teases, using the same line I’ve been throwing at Mia since I gave her The Talk.
I take the bait, rolling my eyes. “Blown you. I haven’t blown you.” I hesitate before asking, “What happens if I suck?”
“That’s kind of the idea.”
“Ugh.Evan. I’m being serious.”
