Page 48 of A Match Made In Evan
“Wh-what?!” I was braced for a breakup. I wasnotbraced for that.
I surge to my feet, intent on racing to her room to…I don’t even know what. Ask her what the hell she was thinking? Hold her and tell her it’s scary but it will be okay? Demand that she tell me that this is some really piss-weak practical joke?
Ev gently pulls me back down to the couch, shaking his head. “She’s asleep. It’s been a rough day.”
“No shit,” I scoff with liberal sarcasm. Scrubbing my hand over my face, I narrow my eyes at him and demand, “Tell me everything.Now.”
Squeezing my hand again, he does. I get the run down about how he discovered her in her room, distraught. Just hearing it breaks my heart, as does his admission that she told him that I would hate her.
“I promise,” he assures me, his wobbly voice emphatic, “I told her there was no chance of that happening. I don’t even think she believed it herself. She was just scared. Is still scared.”
“I wasn’t here,” I lament, guilt roiling my stomach. “She was freaking out and I wasn’t here.”
“But I was. I still am.” Ev’s words calm me and soothe some of the ache in my heart. “And you’re herenow. And now is going to be the hardest part because we’re stuck in limbo waiting for the blood test results.”
“Blood tests?”
“Oh, right. I didn’t get that far yet.” He sighs wearily, then launches into the rest of his story. Of going to buy her tests, of them being inconclusive, of taking her to the doctor. He winces again. “She wanted me in there with her. Moral support or whatever. But some of those questions…”
I can remember going to Haley’s —Mia’s mother’s— early appointments with her almost as if it was yesterday. It wasn’t even seventeen years ago, so it’s no wonder the memories still feel vivid. I scrunch my nose and nod.
“…So, yeah,” he continues, “then the doctor sent her off for blood tests, including a whole panel for STIs and stuff, and it’ll be a couple of days before we know. I, uh, I called the school and told them she was still sick and would be out the rest of the week. I’m sorry if that was overstepping, but—”
“No,” I interrupt him, “no, that’s perfect.You’reperfect. I hate that I wasn’t here, but I’m glad you were.”
“And I’m sorry I didn’t call or text you. I…” Ev licks his lips and looks me in the eye. “This was something I thought was better said in person.”
“Yeah,” I breathe, my mind feeling like it’s moving through molasses. It’s slow to function, too many thoughts and emotions churning through it at once. “Yeah, I get it. I’m not mad. Not at you. Not at her. But…fuck,” I tighten my grip on his hand, panic starting to set in. “What do we do if she is?”
“What did your parents do for you?”
“Loved me. Supported me. Adored Mia.”
“Then we do that. But,” he levels me with another serious look, his stare so sharp and piercing behind his frames that it takes my breath away, “we’re not influencing her decision. It’s her body. If she chooses not to go through with the pregnancy…”
I’m nodding even before he trails off. “Ofcourse,” I tell him, a little horrified that he’d think otherwise. He knows me better than that. “Whatever she chooses, I will love her and support her.”
“And, uh,” Ev swallows again, this time a little nervous, “if…and I meanifshe chooses to put the baby up for adoption…” I can feel his hand trembling in mine, and I don’t quiteunderstand until he takes a steadying breath and finishes, “…I thinkweshould consider adopting it.”
I was not braced for that, either.
Chapter Sixteen
Evan
“Saysomething,” I come just short of begging. “Please, baby.”
Baby. That word —that endearment— feels a little more loaded now.
“You don’t think that’s moving too fast?” Jay eventually asks me, sounding just as blindsided as he looks.
“Honestly? It is. But hear me out,” I rush to add, wanting to smooth away the furrows in his handsome brow, “I’ve been thinking about this all day. And, even if it is too fast, I can’t see myself settling down with anyone else. I…I wouldn’tplanto have kids other than Mia herself, but I think…I mean, withyou, I’d…I’d want that. Because that baby would be a tiny bit you, too. AndMia herself is awesome and I’vereallybeen overthinking this.” I finish with an awkward chuckle, rubbing the back of my neck.
James slumps against the back of the couch, blinking at me with a stunned expression. “Wow. That’s…” he clears his throat. “That’s intense, Ev. Not necessarily in a bad way, just…well, it’s a lot. And babies are…” He trails off again and licks his lips. “They test you, you know? Like, I know I raised Mia by myself, but I know so many couples who struggled to stay together under the pressure of having no sleep and all the other baby-related stress and I…I’m selfish, Evan. I don’t want to lose you.”
“That’s not selfish,” I assure him. I shuffle in close to his side and wrap my arm around his shoulders, squeezing him tightly. “You’ve done the baby thing before, and if it’s not something you ever want to do again, I’m good with that. I just…I just wanted to put the option out there. Let you know it’s something we can consider. Y’know, if it comes to it.”
His answering nod is slow. I know him. I know that he’s processing the information, letting it sink in. “This is so messed up,” he mutters and scrubs his palm over his face. “She’ssixteen.”
