Page 52 of A Match Made In Evan
“You’d make an excellent therapist, you know that?”
“Evan…”
“I don’t know. And, you know, it’s all hypothetical right now. Like, there’s a fifty-fifty chance that she’s not pregnant because she took three tests and they were inconclusive, so we’re waiting on blood test results and this could all be a moot point anyway.”
Connor nods and he sits back into his seat. “But maybe you freaked yourself out by making that suggestion to James to begin with? Is that what’s bothering you? Because it sounds like everything got serious really quickly and maybe your brain is starting to catch up on how many huge changes you’ve made in such a short amount of time?”
As he says it, I start to relax, feelingseen. “Yeah,” I swallow. “Yeah. I think…I think that’s it. Like…I know Jay is my person. He’sitfor me. That feels right. But even that is huge because he is a guy, and he’s my best friend, and we’re going to have to tell our families and stuff at some point, and they’ll all want to know why it took us so long to work it out. And, yeah, I’ve kind of been a stepdad all year, and now even that seems to have gotten crazy serious all of a sudden. Not that it wasn’t serious before, because looking after kids is always serious, but…”
Jesus Christ, I even ramble like Jay now.
“It’s a lot,” Connor acknowledges. “And maybe telling Jay that you would raise his hypothetical grandkid with him was the straw that broke the camel’s back.”
“So…what do I do?”
“Talk to Jay. Maybe talk to an actual counsellor or therapist. These arehugelife-changing issues and it’s okay to get help working through them.”
I consider that for a moment. I do feel lighter after sharing it all with him. Maybe breaking it down and talking to a professional isn’t a bad idea. Jay might even benefit from it, too.
“In fact,” Connor says, as if reading my mind, “no matter what happens with Mia, you should probably all consider it anyway.”
I think about the secrets Mia has been keeping from us and, in turn, the one we’ve been keeping from her and I find myself nodding again. “You’re not wrong.”
Chapter Seventeen
James
“I’m not mad that you’re having sex,” the words are awkward as they leave my mouth, and I cringe just as much as Mia does. “But I am…I don’t know…sad, I guess, that you didn’t even tell us…uh…me that you were dating anyone. That you…that you felt like you needed to lie and sneak around…”
Like I have been with Ev.
Guilt prickles up the back of my neck and my stomach churns.
I haven’t actually been lying to her, though, have I? I had every intention of telling her about Ev and me. I did. I even told him so on Tuesday. Fuck, that feels like forever ago, despite today being only Friday.
Mia bites her bottom lip and looks away with a despondent shrug. “It was just dating. Nothing serious.”
“Nothing—” I cut off my high-pitched, incredulous echo with a snap of my jaws together. I try to push down the frustrated anger, to see things from her perspective. “Sweetheart,” I manage to bring my tone back down to something softer, more understanding, “sex is always serious.”
She scoffs. “So you’re serious with all your Tinder dates?”
“I don’t sleep with all…No. No, you know what? I’ve taken every single sexual encounter in my life seriously, Mia.”
“I didn’t say I wasn’t taking sex seriously,” she snaps back at me. “But I was just dating him. I wasn’t…It was just supposed to be a high school fling. I wasn’t, like, planning marriage or…” she trails off, cringing again.
“Or kids?”
Damn it. That came out too harsh, too.
“It’s not like you planned me.”
Ouch.True, but…ouch.
“Mia…”
“Did you hate me? Resent me? Because Iwillresent this kid…if there is a kid. It’s not…it’s notfair.”
My heart hurts. All through her childhood, anytime she’s been hurting, I’ve felt it. I’ve always taken on her pain in my own way, feeling guilty for not being able to prevent the skinned knees or broken bones or whatever viral illnesses she picked up at school. I know I couldn’t have stopped any of it, just like I really can’t stop her from feeling future pain, physically or emotionally.
