Page 12 of Rowan's Renewal
“Can I think about it? Sleep on it, even? I’ve never let anyone even see the diapers before, let alone…y’know.”
“Change them?”
His cheeks are pink. God, he’s cute.
“Yeah. I…I don’t know…” Exhaling, he scrubs his hand over his face. “What other kinds of things would be involved in the kinky side? If I did agree to try it, I mean.”
“Whatever you’re comfortable with. It really could just be as simple as calling me Daddy when we make out or go to bed. No dress-ups, no toys or regression, none of that. And I wouldn’t change you without your explicit consent.”
“Right.” He cocks his head. “So, like…dating, but calling you Daddy during sexy times?” I nod. He bites his lip. “You mentioned watersports.”
“Again, it’s not something wehaveto do, but I don’t mind being the recipient of a golden shower,” I shrug. “And I get that that can be confronting, so you could also sit on my lap while wearing your incontinence pants and…let go.”
He inhales sharply and squirms, the pinkness of his cheeks now fiery red. “That’s…I mean, I can’t imagine why…”
I shrug again. I don’t mind explaining why I enjoy it. It might help him while he mulls over his options. “Everyone’s got these kinks for various reasons. For me, it’s multifaceted. There’s obviously something kind of taboo about it, which gives it a bit of a thrill. But it’s also super intimate. Both parties are being really vulnerable in those moments, but in different ways, and the trust required goes both ways, too. Then there’s the pure physical enjoyment of the heat and wetness and the rush of being so free of rules and expectations…Plus, like I said, there are guys likeyou who do it because it makes them feel more in control of losing that control, you know?”
Biting his lip, Rowan seems to be really taking it all in. “And, in an ideal, um, Daddy/Boy arrangement, what wouldyoureally like to do together? If you had carte blanche and knew the, um, the Boy would be happy with all of it?”
“Well,” I muse, wanting to be completely honest, “like I said, my biggest things are helping my Boy and making sure he’s happy. I guess in my previous relationships, that’s involved diaper play, some regression play, taking over all the stressful decisions for my Boys in their day-to-day lives outside of work…that kind of thing.”
“Okay,” his expression doesn’t give anything about his feelings on my answer away. But he definitely looks and sounds more guarded when he asks, “And sex? Are you a strict top?”
“I’m vers, actually. Very happily, too.”
“And if you had a Boy who doesn’t like bottoming? Would that be okay for a week? A year? However long you saw the relationship going?”
“Of course,” my answer doesn’t need any thought. “My College boyfriend was a strict side and that was one of the hottest relationships I’ve ever had.” I sigh. “We weren’t suited for each other for different reasons, and we split up amicably, by the way.”
“Good to know,” the words are back to light and playful, but then he stiffens and pushes back to his feet.
“Sorry, I...” he throws his thumb over his shoulder, and I wave him off.
“Go. Have your shower.” It’s on the tip of my tongue to offer to get him fresh clothes, but the ball is firmly in his court, and I won’t push this any more than I already have. “I’m going to head to bed and read.”
He checks his watch, then arches an eyebrow at me. “Read? You don’t want to go check out the club or anything?”
Shaking my head, I offer him a lopsided smile. “I’m not a huge partier. Plus, it’s been a long day” —longer for him, I’m aware— “so I’m just gonna wind down. If you need me, you know where to find me.”
He nods, then hustles into the bathroom.
I know I’ve given him a lot to think about.
Chapter Seven
The hot water is cleansing and seeps into my muscles, easing the tension that’s been building in my shoulders and back since I got on the flight here. Tears gather in the corners of my eyes even as the relief sweeps over me.
I always get emotional when I’m tired.
And I am beyond tired right now. It’s been a long couple of days with very little sleep, and today was an emotional rollercoaster of epic proportions.
I can’t believe I told a complete stranger how messed up I am.
I can’t believe he’s into it.
I’m not sure how to feel about the revelation that Aaron is not only not turned off by my incontinence, but that he’s actually more interested in me because of it. I would never judge anyone for their kinks, but I wasn’t expecting a straight-laced doctor to be into diapers and watersports, or to be so open and upfront about it.
The honesty and lack of shame is intriguing, though. Refreshing.
