Page 24 of Rowan's Renewal
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Later, after the shower (where Daddy washed me with a tenderness that almost brought tears to my eyes), dressing, and cleaning up the couch, we sit on the lanai and look out over the lush greenery that stretches towards the oceanside. We’re both sipping mimosas, and I’m not worried about the wine going through me.
Instead, we talk about how much fun we had on the water today, about maybe visiting Australia Zoo (which is only an houror so south of our resort), and about other places we might like to explore while we’re here.
Eventually, the conversation turns back to what happened on the couch. I appreciate that Aaron has given me time to process it all properly, but I’m not freaking out. I made my choice; it turned out to be the right one, and I tell him so.
“I just worry that my lack of foresight took away your consent,” he says, turning away from the pretty view to look me in the eye. He’s completely serious, and my heart sinks to think that he’s been worrying about this for the past couple of hours while I have been reveling in how amazing it was.
I reach for his hand and squeeze it. “You did give me a choice,” I remind him. “Sure, in an ideal world, we might have planned it all out, but I think I’m starting to like being impulsive when it comes to you.”
His lips quirk and his fingers tighten around mine. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
Ever since the moment he sauntered up to the reception desk and rescued me, I’ve been impulsive with Dr. Aaron Park. And every snap decision so far has led to good things. Except for almost being shark food. Hard pass on that happening again.
“And…you did enjoy it? Your first watersports experience?”
I could have shuffled off his lap and I might have even had enough time to make it to the bathroom before disaster struck, but I chose to stay and share my loss of control with him.
I reflect on the relief of letting go, and on how secure I felt in his lap, and how surprised I was to feel his cock swelling and twitching through an orgasm. For the first time ever, I made the choice to piss myself and, for the first time ever, I liked the results.
I liked the way Aaron’s fingers had dug into my ass. I liked his blissed-out moans and panted-out encouragement. I lovedhearing my name spill from his lips as he reached the ultimate peak of pleasure.
I felt like I was in control of that.
“I really did,” I answer honestly. “It…it took something I’ve been ashamed of for so long and has given me a positive memory. Something to look back on and say ‘it doesn’t have to be disgusting, it can be hot’. And watching you come made it hot. It made me feel sexy in a way I’ve never felt sexy before.”
It’s hard to describe the feeling, because wetting myself also brought on that sensation of being small, too, even while I felt empowered sexually.
Aaron’s smile is filled with understanding, and he nods. “To me, it issosexy. I feel genuinely privileged that you trusted me to be so vulnerable. I don’t take that trust lightly, sweetheart.”
“I know. Everything you have done so far has proven that far more than words alone possibly could.” Shaking my head, I look over the trees again, catching a glimpse of the ocean glinting gold and orange with the fading sun. “It’s hard to believe I’ve only known you a couple of days. It already feels like we’ve known each other for years.”
Hell, I’m closer to Aaron than I ever was with Alex or the men I dated before him. I’ve done things with him I never would have imagined doing with Alex, even if Alex had asked me to. Is this what he meant when he said that BDSM relationships feel more intimate much sooner? It must be.
“I feel that way, too,” he tells me. “We have so much more to learn about each other, but I’m already hoping that we can continue dating when we go home. That we can make a real relationship work between us.”
Any remaining tension or fear that I’m allowing myself to get too attached too soon evaporates at his words. I’m learning quickly that I can take whatever he says at face value, and the fact that he wants the same things that I do lifts a weightfrom my shoulders. It makes my next words come easily and naturally, as if I was born to say them.
“I hope we can, too, Daddy.”
Chapter Twelve
After spending two more days together, exploring the resort and the Sunshine Coast together, it really does feel like Rowan and I have been together forever. After that first —mildly accidental— foray into watersports, something seems to have clicked for him. Diaper changes are green lit without hesitation or embarrassment, the Daddy title falling from his lips readily when we are alone. He asks me to make decisions for him, from choosing his outfits and his meals to deciding our itineraries for the day, and the genuine joy that radiates from him as we wander down the beach or through the resort hand-in-hand seems incongruous with the anxious, defeated Rowan I met only a few days ago.
It was obvious to me that he was touch-starved, so I’ve made a point to always reach out to him in some capacity whenever the opportunity allows. I hold his hand, or place mine on the base of his spine, or sling an arm around him wherever we go. He huddles close when we’re in public, and prefers to sit in my lap when we’re in private. In bed, he complains if we’re not spoonedtogether, relying on the air conditioning to get rid of the sticky Australian summer heat from our skin.
We talk through every new experience —whether it be kink-related or not— and I’m constantly wondering how anyone could have let him go, because he is one of the sweetest men I’ve ever met.
I know that I’m seeing Vacation Rowan right now, though, just like he’s seeing Vacation Aaron. We’re relaxed, neither of us encumbered by the stresses and pressures of our lives back home.
Will things change when we do go home? Most likely.
We will need to work out a schedule around my shiftwork. We will need to see how he feels about the Daddy/Boy dynamic sliding into his real life; whether he can be a Boy in between his job as the Editor In Charge of a magazine. Whether he’s still comfortable letting go and letting me change him when we’re back in the city where he’s used to being so independent.
At this point, though, I am completely smitten. If we get home and being a Boy while managing his day-to-day life is too hard for Rowan, that’s okay with me. I’m falling for him as a man and partner, not just for how compatible he is for my kinkier side. Like I told him at the start: it’s all about balance and making sure he’s happy. That’s what will make me happy, too.
