Page 37 of Rowan's Renewal
I sigh and explain the rambling musings that got me to that point, adding, “It’s not like I can always keep you to myself, right? And I trust that if I’m uncomfortable, we can cut things short. I just…I want to try. Not just for you, but for myself, as well.”
He’s quiet as he mulls it over. I can see the cogs turning behind those sharp, dark eyes of his. He doesn’t question my conviction, though, and I appreciate that he trusts me enough to take me at my word.
“Would you prefer to start slowly? Maybe just meet Vince and Bear, or Anson and Drake? Or visit the Little Community Center to get some information?”
I like the idea of meeting his friends on neutral ground, but I appreciate that he’s also considered the fact that I might want to ease into meeting them, too. But I am a grown man, and, despite my issues, I am used to meeting with new people every day. In many ways, meeting his friends should be easier, because I don’t need to hide my condition from them. I don’t need to worry about them thinking I’m disgusting or weird.
“Can we meet them at the Center?” I ask. “I don’t think I’m ready for a BDSM club yet, but…a safe space where our lifestyle is…well, encouraged, I guess, sounds really nice.”
A slow smile grows over his face, and he gives his head a little shake. “You’ll never stop surprising me, will you sweetheart?”
“I’ve gotta keep you on your toes, Daddy. That’s my job.”
***
The Little Community Center isn’t far from my office building. I shouldn’t have been surprised that Daddy managed to arrangefor his friends to come at some short notice, but we agree to meet there for lunch on Sunday, after Vince’s late shift finished.
Aaron and I arrive first, though, giving me time to get comfortable and meet some other people in the lifestyle before his friends get here. My nerves are jangled as we approach the large, sprawling building. It’s one story and, from the sidewalk and much to my amusement, it looks like a large, modern daycare center. From the cream-colored stucco walls, to the rainbow sign and double doors, it is bright and inviting.
That feeling follows through once we walk through the front doors into a large, open-plan space with couches and tables and chairs, and a welcoming reception desk where a pretty woman with honey-blonde hair swept up into a ponytail sits. She smiles widely as we cross the big room, recognition dawning in her eyes as they land on Daddy.
“Hi, Aaron,” she greets him warmly, “it’s nice to see you again.” She turns her attention to me. “Hi, I’m Cherie. Welcome to our center.”
“Thanks,” I reply, feeling a little awkward, but not as much as I’d anticipated, “I’m, uh, Rowan.”
“Rowan,” she repeats, as if memorizing my name. Her eyes flick between us again, then land on me, “What brings you in today? One of the Q and A sessions? A meeting with one of our counselors?” She gestures broadly towards the open room behind us, “Or to just chill out and make some new friends? I think I saw Spence and Tony setting up to play Candyland a little while ago.”
“We’re meeting some friends here, actually,” Aaron answers easily. “The Littles will probably take advantage of your toys and games, though.”
Cherie chuckles. “And the hot chocolate, too, I’m betting.” She leans forward, conspiratorially, “Katie totally found herselfhaving corner time for having one too many of those yesterday. She was practically bouncing off the walls.”
Aaron snorts. “You’ve got your hands full with your Girl, Cher.”
“I wouldn’t have it any other way.” Cherie turns to me and explains, “Katie is my wife. She’s also a Little, and she thinks she’s very cute when she’s pushing boundaries.”
I find myself smiling, relaxing into how easily she is talking about their relationship dynamics. It makes me feel confident enough to admit, “I’m more Middle than Little, I think. But I’m really new to this, and I’m still” —I pause, considering my phrasing— “exploring everything, I guess.”
Her eyes light up and she claps her hands together. “That’s wonderful to hear. Trying everything for the first time is kind of magical, in its own way.” Her tone is wistful, but she shakes herself out of it and adds, “I’m glad you’ve come here. Charlie and Ash have really built something special for people in our community. You’re safe here, Rowan. No question is too silly, no experience off-limits, as long as you’re doing everything consensually and safely.”
“Yeah, I’ve been looking on your website. This is all super impressive.”
The founder, Charlie Walker, used to be a cop, according to the ‘About Us’ section online. A career-ending injury left him wanting to give back in other ways and, because he and his husband were in the BDSM lifestyle themselves, he thought having a kink-friendly space that wasn’t a nightclub or sex club might help others. And I think it does. The center offers all sorts of services, from mentoring others in kink, to free counselling, to pro-bono legal advice, even access to beds and bathrooms for those who find themselves on the streets. It’s all really commendable.
Cherie beams at me. “Charlie will be happy to hear that.” She stands up and comes out from the office. “Let me give you the tour.”
Cherie leads me and Aaron through the building, showing us where the bathrooms and changing rooms are, and I am unsurprised to find large stalls with oversized changing tables in them when I poke my head inside. Next, we see the two meeting rooms which, she explains, are used for Q and A sessions, support group meetings, and which can also be hired out for similar events. As we travel down the hallway, she points out the offices belonging to the legal team and counselling teams, and then takes us out back to a large sunroom spanning the length of the building. It is littered with toys of all kinds —stuffies, balls, ropes, large bells— and Cherie giggles at my perplexed expression as she stoops to pick up the toys and drop them into their corresponding tubs along the wall.
“This space is predominantly used for pet play,” she explains, lobbing a tennis ball into a bucket of other balls. “We mostly see pups and kittens here, to be fair, but one of our regulars is a pony player. They enjoy trotting the length of the room and jumping over hurdles.” A wave of her hand directs my gaze to a neatly stacked pile of plastic and foam shapes. “A lot of the pups like playing with those obstacles, too.”
“Wow,” I murmur, taking it all in. The idea of dressing and acting like an animal for fun and relaxation makes me feel like my regression —even with the diapers and watersports— is vanilla in comparison. “It’s so cool that you have the space for them to play like that here.”
“It is,” she nods. “Some of the Littles love rolling around out here, too. Especially if they find a friendly pup to play with.”
I can’t quite imagine myself treating another adult like a pet, but I can see how others might find it fun. “Wow.” I repeat.
“There’s also a jungle gym and a swing set out back, but it’s too cold and wet right now to go out there,” she continues. “In summer, though, we’ve started hosting Littles days out there. We fire up the grill, get a sprinkler going…it’s a blast.”
I squirm on the spot, recalling how uncomfortable I was in my swim trunks at the resort. It was one thing to be able to hide my accidents in a pool or the ocean, but I don’t think I’d be able to with just a sprinkler for cover. But then, here I could probably wear my incontinence pants without fear of feeling different. At least, not around a bunch of Littles.
