Page 38 of Rowan's Renewal
Oblivious to my thoughts, Cherie shrugs. “Anyway,” she says, “that’s the tour. Before you leave today, I’ll get you a welcome pack with contact numbers and flyers with our schedule of information sessions and support groups. You don’t have to do anything with them, but I like to make sure everyone gets them.”
“We’d love that,” Aaron answers for me, obviously sensing the fact that I’m mildly overwhelmed. “But we might go make ourselves a couple of those hot chocolates and just cuddle while we wait for our friends, if that’s okay.”
Cherie ushers us back into the large lounge-type room cheerfully, showing us to the bench where there are paper cups and an assortment of coffee, tea, and cocoa sachets, along with a hot water dispenser and a fridge full of creamer and milk.
Daddy ushers me down onto a comfy, bright orange couch and makes our drinks for us, warning me that mine might be a bit hot and to sip carefully. I smile at his caution and care as I do as I’m told, letting the warm, sweet liquid warm me up from the inside.
“Good?” he asks, and I don’t think he’s only asking about the drink.
I nod. “Mmmhmm.”
“It’s a lot to take in, sweetheart,” he says. “If you want to go home—”
“No,” I shake my head, forcing myself to form words. Now isn’t the time to drop into a nonverbal state. I can do that once we are home, when I will be comfortable enough let go completely. Maybe one day, I will be able to do so in public, but not yet. “No. I…I’m okay. Just…processing.”
“Just safeword out if you need to, baby. The guys will understand.”
I nod, already feeling more adult again. “I know, and I will if it gets to be too much.”
Aaron kisses my cheek and rubs his nose along the skin above my beard. “Good boy. I love you.”
Any remaining anxiety melts away. “I love you, too.”
Chapter Eighteen
Rowan seems to hit it off with Bear and Anson almost instantly. Even though both guys are significantly younger —especially Bear, who is only in his early twenties— they bond over some of their similarities as Littles.
Bear, who is petite, with a pretty, freckled face framed by a cloud of red, curly hair, is almost perpetually in a Little-to-Middle headspace. He encourages Ro to join him in a game of Uno, and Ro settles into it as soon as Bear starts openly calling Vince ‘Daddy’. Then there’s blonde and buff Anson, whose Little space is younger than either of the others, who is quite happy to turn in his seat and tell Drake he needs a diaper change.
“I peed,” he says shamelessly, scrunching his nose. “I iswet, Daddy. Help. I feel yucky.”
Ro blinks, watching wide-eyed as Drake shoulders the backpack they came in with and leads him by the hand to the change rooms. Nobody else bats an eye. In fact, Vince even takes the opportunity to ask Bear if he needs a potty break, though Bear shakes his head and says no.
I think we’re all aware that Anson was making a point, normalizing the entire exchange for Rowan’s benefit, but it doesn’t make Ro any less awed to see it.
He wriggles in his own seat, then looks at me and whispers, “I’m wet, too, Daddy.”
My heart almost bursts with how proud I am of him for being so brave. For not only trusting me, but for trusting my friends as well.
I tell him as much as I change him into a new pullup, and I also ask him if he is proud of himself, too. Because that’s more important to me. I want him to make choices that makehimhappy. I will be happy regardless.
“I am,” he says quietly, his cheeks flushed red. “It…it feels…I guess it’s nice not to hide it. To…to feel normal.” His voice breaks a little, and his lashes flutter madly. Tilting his head back, he huffs wetly. “God. These are happy tears, Daddy, I swear.”
“It’s okay to be overwhelmed though, honey,” I cuddle him close. “You’ve tried alotof new things today. It’s confronting and scary.”
“Your friends aren’t scary,” he laughs, brushing away the last of his emotional tears with the back of his hand. “I like them.”
“We like you, too!” Anson’s voice —sounding significantly more mature than he did a few minutes ago— sails over to us from the next stall, followed by Drake’s deep groan and a chagrined, “Sorry!” before the sounds of him reminding his boy that eavesdropping is naughty travel over to us.
Rowan chuckles and leans into me again. “I really like them.”
I grin. “I do, too.”
***
Ro falls asleep on the drive back to my apartment. It’s been a big day for him, and I imagine it has been emotionally and mentallydraining, even if he did seem to enjoy himself. When we left, he was happy to agree to a playdate with Anson and Bear, and it didn’t feel like he was only doing it for my sake.
As I had hoped, his spirits seemed lifted as he hung out with my friends. If I had to guess, not having to worry about the stigma of his condition —or of our dynamic— took a weight off his shoulders. Plus making friends with people with whom he can be completely authentic and not on his guard must feel good, too. I know it has felt good for me, having people in my circle who not only know that I’m a Daddy, but whoget it.
