Page 117 of Off-Ice Misconduct
“Alright, I’ll let you handle this one, but if I don’t see improvement by next game, we’ll do it my way—you won’t like my way. Before you go, any idea where you’re planning on going next season?”
“Not yet.”
“Don’t wait too long. They want you, but the NHL still runs on money. They’ll move on.”
“Awww, was that big brotherly advice, Coach?” I’ll forgive him for gaslighting me, but he doesn’t get off scot-free.Welcome to my brand of revenge, Coach.
It takes him a minute to register what I’m doing. I see the moment he thinks he’ll rat me out to Luke, and then the moment he realizes that Luke’ll just laugh his face off at him.
I behave for Daddy. Period. Everyone else is fair game.
“I’m not your big brother, McKinnon.”
“Sure, you are. After the wedding, you will be.” Luke and I haven’t talked about weddings and shit, and I don’t even know if I want to get married, but it’s great material for teasing Coach with.
“You’re forgetting that I know exactly how far Luke can be pushed before he’ll do any crushing, and it’s a nice wide gap between how many skate sprints I can make you do and being crushed. Now, get the fuck outta my face, McKinnon.”
I salute anyway. “Getting the fuck out, sir.”
When we board the bus for Tacoma, I take the seat beside Bender before Shep has the chance.
“Hey!” Shep says. “Move.”
“Gimme a few minutes, then we’ll switch,” I promise.
“Make him cry, and I’ll hurt you, McKinnon.”
Wow. I’ve never seen him get quite that way about Hudson. Is it because they’re new? Or has Shep really moved on from Huddy that fast?
“Don’t plan on making him cry, but if I do, I’ll happily let you punch me in the face.”
He glares, but he sits directly in front of us.
Bender’s floating on fucking air, having loved that little caveman display. Jeez. I’ve missed a lot, haven’t I? I nudge Bender with my shoulder to steal his attention back.
“You’re really into him, huh?”
He chews his lip, barely able to meet my eyes. “I think so, yeah. Not sure why, if I’m being honest.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of, Bend. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”
“I know, Ace. You’re a good friend, the silence between us has been fucking killing me.”
I nod. “I’m sorry. I’m gonna lay off, okay?” I can’t stop him from getting his heart broken as much as I’d like to, any more than I can prevent my own from the same fate.
“How are things with your situation? I mean, I assume good since you can’t seem to stop smiling, but I want details.”
If I told my friends just what Luke and I got up to, I don’t know if they’d understand it. Don’t know if I do half the time, just that I’m in heaven doing it.
“We say ‘hearts and shit’ as our I love you,” I tell him instead.
“Really? Fuck, Ace. I’m so happy for you. Your mom would be, too, y’know? She’d want you to open up and have a someone.”
A knot in my chest tightens before it unfurls. Bender knew my mom, but I forgot that he did. As if I’d tucked that pieceof information so far away, the memory became too distant to recall. Because then I’d have to look at Bender every day and remember her. Remember the way she fussed over him. How she’d surprise us with sleepovers when she didn’t want to send him home. That time she put us in the bath together in our bathing suits when we were six because his mom forgot for a few days.
Maybe I’ve been carrying the torch with Bender for Mom, and I don’t need to anymore.
Hell, by the sounds of it, he’s been worried about me.
