Page 15 of Going Overboard

‘You should have let us know sooner,’ she informs me. ‘We’re very close to the event, and cabin allocations were finalised weeks ago. We might have something in reserve, but no promises.’

I inhale slowly, doing my best to hold back the sarcasm that wants to burst out of my body,Alienstyle.

‘Right, yeah, sorry about that. I didn’t plan on getting dumped, you know? Bit of a surprise for me too.’

So, not keeping it all in too well then.

She makes a noise, one of those little huffs of annoyance, not so subtly letting me know that she’s not at all impressed.

‘I’ll also need to confirm with the other guest on the booking,’ she continues. ‘Todd, is it? Make sure this is what he wants too.’

Of course.

‘Right, yeah, let’s make sure Todd’s comfortable,’ I reply. ‘We wouldn’t want Todd – who surprise dumped me – not being comfortable.’

‘You say he dumped you?’ she replies – when I literally just told her that. ‘Surprising.’

Lovely, she’s being sarcastic. Just what I need right now.

‘Yep,’ I reply, popping the ‘p’.

Emma sniffs. ‘Well, as I said, I’ll see what I can do. But we’re under quite a bit of pressure, so next time, a little more notice would be appreciated.’

‘Okay, Emma, thanks so much, yes, next time I’ll tell you sooner,’ I reply with faux enthusiasm.

‘Thank you,’ she replies, not picking up the tone I’m putting down.

I hang up before one of us says something we will regret.

I fling my phone onto the bed and flop down next to it, groaning into the duvet.

None of this is going to be easy, is it?

6

You really can’t beat the Yorkshire countryside. The rolling green hills, the trees, the drystone walls – it’s iconic.

I’m noticing, as I’m driving to Al and Kira’s wedding venue – a hotel just outside York – that the cows are lying down. They say that means rain, don’t they? I don’t know who ‘they’ are, or if it’s true, but I really hope it isn’t because I’m going to a wedding under a marquee in the hotel grounds.

Al and Kira are great. She’s kind of a rock chick, he’s a former Mr Universe (or similar – one of those where you layer on the fake tan and pose in tiny trunks, rather than the one where you throw a washing machine while pulling an HGV), and you would think they wouldn’t work together but they really do. I think it’s good, sometimes, when you have two people in a couple who are so different. Although with Todd I always used to say that my weaknesses were his strengths, and vice versa. You know, my weaknesses like maths, and his weaknesses like staying in our relationship.

Ugh. Every bend I drive around – and this is one windy road –pisses off the butterflies in my stomach, and they’re not in a good mood today as it is.

Unsurprisingly the thought of seeing Todd has me feeling like I’m going to throw up. My brain is going here, there and everywhere, thinking about what will happen, running all these different simulations – Will he talk to me? Will he ignore me? Will he be rude to me? I’m actually arguing with him, in my head, imagining him saying horrible things and thinking about how I’ll reply. To be honest with you, it’s making me even more mad at him, and it’s not even a real conversation.

Glancing at the satnav, I can see that I’m only ten minutes away now.

It’s just a reception, without a ceremony, because Al and Kira got married on a beach somewhere (and didn’t demand everyone they know join them), but they still wanted to have a traditional wedding so it will have everything else. The outfits, the cake, the speeches, tossing the bouquet – probably to me, because I’m not even sure who else we know who isn’t coupled up. Maybe I’ll hide in the loos for that part of the proceedings.

My palms feel sweaty – it’s an extra effort to keep them in place on my steering wheel, and driving my Fiat 500 through a drystone wall is not going to make today any easier. Then again, I’m sure it will get me out of the inevitable moment towards the end of the night when I find myself sadly swaying to ‘Mr Brightside’, all on my own, in the middle of the dance floor.

Still, it’s not all bleak, I’ll probably get some cake. Let’s focus on that… Except I can’t focus on that, because it’s only been two weeks. That’s just fourteen days, since he dumped me in such a spectacularly cruel fashion. I know, there’s no ideal time to dump someone, but surely on the dance floor at a wedding is the worst? I’ll never understand why he did it, then and there, and as much asI want to ask him to satisfy my curiosity, I don’t think any good can come from me having an answer to that question.

Well, I’m here now, there’s no turning back, I suppose.

Wow, the hotel is picture perfect, like something out of a bridal mag with a headline above it saying:Most perfect wedding venues in Yorkshire.

It’s an old stone building with those tiny windows you often see in older properties, but then there’s an ultra-modern extension that seems more practical. Still, with it being all glass, it reflects the countryside around it, making it appear almost invisible. That’s one of Todd’s favourite tricks. Fuck, it annoys me so much that I keep talking about him, like he’s still mine.

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