Page 16 of Going Overboard

There’s a large fountain (that looks oddly inviting on a scorcher like today – not that I plan on getting in it) that acts as a sort of turning circle for cars, and with no idea which car park I’m supposed to go in I decide it’s best I drive up to the hotel entrance and see if there are any signs, saying where wedding guests should go.

Oh, okay, this place really is fancy because it has valet parking. There’s a man standing in the doorway, next to a sign that says ‘wedding parking’ and has an arrow pointing right at him. He’s wearing a jacket with a name badge on, not that I can make it out from here. I’ve never had anyone park my car for me before so I’m suddenly self-conscious of all the empty food wrappers (never turn up at a wedding hungry, you will never eat enough to last to the end of the day otherwise) and the fact that Busted is playing on the stereo. Perhaps we’ll turn that off.

I jump out of my car and walk up the couple of steps to where the man – Ryan, I can see from his badge – is standing, but just as I reach the doorway I notice him, Todd, standing in reception. Oh, and he looks infuriatingly good in his suit. He looks mentallygood too, like this break-up hasn’t affected him in any way. Looove that for him. He’s talking to a hotel employee, laughing his head off, clearly having the time of his life.

He looks great and I probably look like crap from the sweaty drive. My plan was always to go to the loos and touch up my make-up so he absolutely cannot see me until I have done that, because I need to look good too, like I have my shit together, not like I’m losing it.

Okay, let’s not panic, let’s just give the man the keys and then make a shifty dash to the toilets before Todd sees me, because right now I’m a sitting duck out here. Getting in the fountain might actually be a good option for me.

I practically thrust my keys into the valet’s hands. He looks taken aback by my abruptness – I’m not surprised, I’ll bet the clientele here is usually much less flappy.

‘Sorry, I’m in a rush,’ I explain, because I just offloaded my keys to him like they were a grenade with the pin pulled. ‘I’m with the Al and Kira wedding party. The wedding. I think I’m late so I’ll just grab the keys from reception later, yeah? I’m Jessa, by the way, if you need to put a name to them. Again, sorry, just rushing – and don’t worry about the light that comes on when you turn left, it’s been doing that for ages, no one knows why.’

The man blinks at me as the corners of his mouth twitch into a smile. Okay, yeah, he’s never had to deal with a hot mess like me before.

‘Yeah, sorry,’ I say as I dash off.

‘Enjoy the wedding,’ he calls after me.

Ha. Chance would be a fine thing. At least I’ve managed to get away from Todd though, even if it is just for now, if it means I can top up my warpaint then great, anything that might help. Perhaps I could nip to the bar too, seeing as though I do actually have time to spare. I could have a drink now, take the edge off – well,I’m going to be here all day, so it will be long out of my system by the time I can get away with ducking out.

Yep, a hasty makeover, a cheeky cocktail – then all I need is Kelsey, my wingwoman, and I’ll be fine.

It will all be fine.

7

Okay, so I didn’t have one drink, I had two, from the bar inside the hotel, and lucky for me I did my make-up before I ordered them, so no adverse effects from drinking and eye-lining thankfully.

The crisps and biscuits I ate in the car have done little to line my stomach because I feel tipsy as hell, slightly unsteady on my heels, a little lighter in two ways. First of all, being tipsy makes me feel emotionally lighter, like it might all be okay, but physically lighter too, like maybe I’m floating slightly.

Bottom line, the drinks are strong, so I might have to see if they have a free room I can check into, or spend a similar amount on a taxi back to Leeds. Either way, unless the valet is also a taxi driver, or I eat enough cake to sober up in time, I don’t think I’ll be making the early exit I thought.

Still, better to do this with a little liquid courage than without. I just want today to go well, to be here for my friends, to not make a scene. A gentle cocktail buzz might be my ticket to letting it all wash over me. Here’s hoping.

It’s nice, out here in the marquee, because even though it’ssunny outside there’s a nice breeze dancing through the tent, just enough to take the edge off the heat. I’ve been to marquee weddings that were basically like sitting inside a plastic oven, being slowly cooked – my friend Josie’s dad actually passed out doing his speech at her wedding, and we all thought it was the heat. No one so much as looked at the dance floor until the sun had gone down that day.

They’ve done a great job with the summer flowers and the elegant table settings. Round tables are dotted around, forming a sort of circle around the dance floor in the centre. Not many people have taken their seats yet, they’re all congregating in the middle of the room, everyone chatting, kids running around the place excitably. I like to see kids at a wedding, it always makes me feel a little sad, when they’re not included. Or maybe I just don’t want to be the only one throwing a tantrum later.

I’m more than relieved to have been moved to sit with Kelsey and Neil at the table they’re on, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel like their third wheel, the child they couldn’t find a babysitter for – not that they’re making me feel like I’m crashing or anything, but poor Kelsey is mummy-ing me, just a little, checking on me, making sure I’m okay. I do appreciate it though. This would be a lot harder without her by my side.

The happy couple are here – and they really do look happy. Kira looks stunning in her dress. I don’t know how she’s managed to make a white bridal gown look gothic but she’s nailed it somehow. Then there is Al, a genuine mountain of a man, who has already ditched the jacket that was most likely preventing his muscles from flexing. While Kira floats around effortlessly, meeting and greeting, Al breaks out his usual party tricks like lifting people up on chairs and miraculously managing not to get any of his fake tan on his white shirt collar. I don’t know which one impresses me more. I can get foundation on my collar bysimply picking out what I’m wearing, never mind letting it rub against my skin as I go about my day.

I haven’t seen Todd since I spotted him in reception, not that I’m looking for him (I’m absolutely looking for him, I can’t help myself), but that suits me just fine. If he were to vanish, would I even care? I mean from the wedding but, to be honest, it would be much easier for me if he ceased to be a part of my world. I’ve never dated so close to home before, it’s always been a case of breaking up, parting ways, and healing and moving on in my own space. Bloody Todd though. He’s integrated in my life in a way that is inescapable. Although I was friends with Al and Kira first, so really the decent thing for him to do would be to give me custody of this wedding, and space from him – and then the same for Kelsey and Neil’s wedding too. Kelsey is my best friend, I’ve got more right to be there than him, he should just let me enjoy it, allow my friend to have a stress-free day – I wouldn’t say he had to disappear forever, but it’s only been two weeks.

‘I hope he has left,’ I mutter to Kelsey, having just told her all about how I spotted him earlier. ‘Wouldn’t that be nice.’

‘I kind of hope he has too,’ Kelsey replies. ‘I hate seeing you so stressed.’

Neil nods.

‘Yeah, if it were me who had broken up with Kels, I don’t think I’d have the balls to come here,’ Neil adds.

‘Erm, can we not talk about breaking up when we’re less than two weeks away from our wedding, please,’ Kelsey practically ticks him off. ‘Your cousin has already been freaking me out with her musings on what she would do if she was jilted at the altar.’

‘Well, I guess if I were to jilt you, you would either know before we set off, or I’d be trapped on a ship or an island with you so…’

‘So you’re talking about it again – stop,’ Kelsey claps back, laughing a little this time.

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