Page 18 of Going Overboard

‘Then I will have two Yorkshire Roses – thank you,’ I inform him, my voice all la-di-da.

He slides them across the bar. I immediately down one while he’s still prepping the card reader.

‘You looked like you needed that,’ he says, with a laugh. ‘Don’t you like weddings?’

‘This one, not so much,’ I reply. ‘Actually – could I get one more, please? For my friend.’

My friend being, of course, me.

‘For your friend,’ he replies. ‘Of course.’

He doesn’t even blink. My kind of guy.

Back at the table I can feel Kelsey eyeballing my two drinks.

‘Jessa… are you really okay?’ she asks.

‘Absolutely fine,’ I reply brightly – too brightly, like staring-at-the-sun bright.

‘I know you’re not great when you have multiple drinks,’ she says quietly, leaning in towards me so no one else at our table can hear now that everyone is sitting down.

‘They’re just really good drinks,’ I reply. ‘I could go get more, if you fancy one?’

‘Back to the bar already?’ Neil teases me. ‘Do I need to confiscate your car keys?’

Hilarious. Like I would ever be so stupid to drink and drive. I’m obviously going to have to book a room, or get an expensive taxi home – I’ll do whichever (ideally the cheaper of the two though).

‘Don’t worry, the valet has them, and after a few more of these I can’t imagine him giving them back to me, can you?’ I joke.

‘What?’ he replies, clearly not getting it.

‘The valet has my keys safe and sound,’ I tell him.

The part of the gardens where the marquee is looks over the fountain, and the entrance where you drive in. Neil glances that way then back to me.

‘The valet,’ I say again. ‘The guy who parks your car for you.’

‘Jessa, there is no valet here,’ Neil informs me, suddenly completely straight-faced. ‘Have you… have you given your car to a random man?’

Oh, shit.

‘Jessa, are you sure you’re okay?’ Kelsey says again.

‘Yes, of course, I was just joking,’ I say, nudging Kelsey, laughing. ‘Oh, the looks on your faces.’

I take a sip of my drink to try and hide the look on my own face. Because I did, I absolutely did, I gave my car to a random man. But he was standing by the sign, wearing a name badge –Ryan, that’s it! And he took my keys. Of course he did. I practically thrust them at him. Can you report a car as stolen if you, erm, gave it away? Right, no, okay, let’s just… no one can find out about this. No one here. They’ll all think I’m pathetic and that I’m having a breakdown – they might even think I’m doing it for attention, having someone ‘steal’ my car so that I can make a fuss and get sympathy. No, no, no. I’ll park it for the moment, no pun intended, and then slink off to reception when I can do it under the radar.

Okay, I’m definitely going to need more of these drinks.

And presumably a new car.

I can’t believe I’ve done this – on today of all days.

8

Longest. Meal. Of. My. Life.

It’s such a shame, because the food was amazing, but I absolutely wolfed it so that I could slink off to reception, to fess up to my stupid mistake.

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