Page 46 of Going Overboard

‘So, what’s on the agenda today?’ Brody asks, changing the subject. ‘Have you got loads of fun wedding party activities for us?’

‘The wedding-related fun starts in a couple of days,’ Kelsey replies. ‘And it’s a surprise but I’m pretty sure you’ll all love it.’

God, I hope it’s a good one, I can’t take any more bad ones. The thing is, Kelsey is definitely a wedding person, she loves everything about them, all of the traditions and the formalities. If I get married – and yeah, it feels like something that will never happen now, thanks for reminding me – I can’t imagine wanting all of these things. I’m not really into… the pomp, shall we say. The flowers, the detailed dress codes, the frankly archaic tradition of tossing the bouquet into a pile of single girls – although maybe I only hate that one after I was (a) the only single girl at Al and Kira’s wedding and (b) that whole mess with Nikki, where she is adamant I rugby-tackled her. Ha, as if I could ever be so sporty.

I don’t know, for me, when it comes to weddings I just like the idea of having a party, a celebration with the people I love the most. I’d probably wear trainers, because as much as I love aheel I would want to enjoy running around talking to everyone, dancing, not falling over or into fountains – and doing so without bright red, achy, blistered feet. For the food, do you know what, if I could get one of those pizza trucks – or five even, all churning out pizzas – and an ice cream van for dessert, how cool would that be? Of course, not only would I need a man who shared my vision for a party that sort of sounds like a kid’s eleventh birthday party, but I would also need to find a man who would, y’know, marry me generally, and that sounds equally as hard.

For now I’ll have to settle for attending my friends’ weddings – and at least it will give me time to get more ideas of what I like, or what I really, really don’t like. The day my wedding has a fruit cake will be a cold day in hell, that’s for sure.

‘What did you have in mind for today?’ I ask, tearing myself away from my deluded daydreams.

‘We thought a day by the pool might be nice,’ she replies. ‘They’ve got games, sports stuff – that kind of thing. But you can just sit and chill if you don’t want to do anything sportsy.’

I open my mouth, to say she knows me so well, only for Brody to get in there first.

‘We love sports, don’t we, princess,’ he says as he gives my shoulder a squeeze.

‘Oh my God, can’t get enough,’ I reply.

‘Wow, you really are a changed woman,’ Kelsey replies.

‘Hmm, are you?’ Todd adds almost suspiciously.

‘Well, it will be fun, no matter who does what,’ Kelsey says. ‘And there’s no pressure.’

‘I don’t usually like games,’ Nikki pipes up. ‘But when I do play, I don’t mess around. I’m actually really good at playing games.’

Maybe it’s me, perhaps I’m paranoid, but that statement reallyfelt like it was aimed at me, and I don’t think she was talking about pool games.

Well, two can play at that game (or should that be four?). I’m pretty good at playing games too, and so is Brody, if the internet is anything to go by.

I just smile sweetly before carrying on with my breakfast.

Brody reaches under the table and gives my leg a reassuring squeeze. At first I assume he’s doing it for our audience, but no one can actually see under the table, so I guess he really is just doing it to reassure me.

I tell you what, I’ll feel a lot better playing games knowing he’s on my team. How can we lose?

19

It isn’t hard to understand how the cruise ship has so much going on inside – it’s huge – but I still can’t get my head around the vast outside spaces too.

Take this pool (and just this pool, because there are several!), for example. We’re outside, by the large outdoor pool, and if you couldn’t smell the sea air you could forget you were even on a boat, it’s got more of a vibe of a luxury resort. To be honest, it just feels like being on the coast, at a stunning hotel – aside from the fact that it’s quite a slow way to travel, I actually prefer it to flying, because it makes the journey part of the destination too. Not that I can afford these things, or have the time to take long trips, but you take my point.

I should focus on the here and now, rather than getting a head start on my holiday hangover.

The pool is big, surrounded by sunloungers and palm trees in planters that really make you feel like you have your feet on the ground, rather than having miles of ocean beneath you. The most impressive part is probably the waterslide, a sky-high spiral thing that comes down from one of the higher decks – not that you’llcatch me whizzing down it any time soon. I’m here for the chill vibe. The cocktails with umbrellas, the sunbathing, breathing in the sea air. Oh, and playing games with my friends, my ex and my fake boyfriend, of course.

I’m sitting on the edge of Brody’s sunlounger while he lies back, looking like an underwear model, soaking up the rays from behind his sunglasses. He’s stroking my back, like the doting boyfriend he isn’t, for the benefit of our audience. He trails the backs of his fingers along my spine, bridging the gap between my bikini top and bottoms, ever so slowly… almost like he’s not even doing it. Every few seconds he presses a little firmer and it’s just enough to send a weird tingle through my body. But it’s just crossed wires, mixed messages, my body receiving signals without the bottom line: this isn’t real.

Even if it is fake, there’s no denying he’s great at this. Playing the boyfriend of my dreams, making me feel like I’m the only woman on the ship – or the only one he has eyes for anyway. If he’s the top shagger the tabloids make him out to be, well, it’s not hard to imagine, given that he looks like a jacked Roman sculpture, has charm radiating from every buff bit of him, and does a really good job of passing himself off as perfect – even I could fall for this, if I didn’t know we were pretending, obviously.

‘Oi, Jessa,’ Kelsey calls out from her sunlounger. ‘Come here.’

‘Back in a sec,’ I tell Brody, blowing him a kiss.

The floor feels warm beneath my feet, and I feel mostly dry (apart from my hair) from my dip in the pool already.

‘Hey,’ I say, plonking myself down on her sunlounger.

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