Page 5 of Going Overboard

‘Jessa!’ she says warmly, giving me the sort of smile I would usually reserve for cute dogs. ‘The place looks simply divine. I’d seen your work but… wow. You’ve really outdone yourself.’

‘Thank you,’ I say, genuinely pleased with how it’s turned out. Sure, it’s a beautiful house (although maybe I’m biased, because I know the architect who designed it, obviously) and gorgeously decorated, but my little touches are really helping it shine. ‘It’s easy when the bones of the house are this good,’ I reply. ‘I just dress it up a bit.’

‘Come,’ she insists. ‘Let’s go downstairs, while James works his magic. I have so many questions, and I’ve made coffee.’

‘Sounds great,’ I say with a smile.

I follow Joanne downstairs, running my hand along the polished curved banister as I admire the hallway window. The front door sits below two storeys of glass, allowing light to pour into the property – and that’s on the north side of the house. In here it’s like an art gallery – or the set of a contemporary murder mystery – with so much to take in it’s almost too much, but it just works. There’s something new to notice every time I pass through.

‘So, do tell,’ she says as we arrive in the huge open-plan kitchen. ‘How did you get into this line of work?’

‘Oh, it was just sort of… a natural progression,’ I explain. ‘I worked in a showroom, when I was younger, then for an interior designer. I fell in love with the idea of making homes perfect, but it was dressing them, rather than decorating them, that really appealed to me. So I started doing some jobs here and there, and then I started working with your agent and here we are.’

‘So is it always the same things you add, or do you tailor it to the house?’ she enquires.

She seems genuinely interested, so I’m happy to talk about it.

‘Everywhere I go it’s slightly different. It’s all about emotion,’ I say, smiling to myself as I talk about my favourite subject. ‘You’re not selling a house, you’re selling the idea of a better life. The right scent in the hallway. The exact throw on the sofa. Books on the bedside table or a coffee on the kitchen island. The details make people feel something – or fantasise about something, even. That’s what gets them. They walk in and think, “This is exactly where I’m supposed to live.”’

We step through tall glass doors and into the garden.

Ugh. This garden, honestly.

There’s a pool. A full-size, heated outdoor pool with mosaic tiles and submerged steps like something you would expect to seeat a spa or a resort. Next to it, an almost unused-looking outdoor kitchen sits under a pergola, with a marble countertop, built-in appliances and a wine fridge – because who wants to trail inside for a glass of white? There are loungers arranged around the pool, perfectly spaced. A firepit. Fairy lights strung between the trees. Everything’s so perfect it almost doesn’t feel real.

Joanne gestures for me to sit on one of the linen-cushioned outdoor sofas. She cradles her mug in her hands – a mug that perfectly matches the marble countertops, it’s like even the crockery knows how to coordinate effortlessly here.

‘So,’ she says, tucking one leg under the other, ‘is it fun? Your job, I mean. Dressing up houses like this to help them sell?’

I smile.

‘Oh, absolutely,’ I reply. ‘It can be hard work, but it’s a fun challenge. My car is always packed full of things like plants, candles, fake lemons – all sorts, but I love it. It’s like playing house for grown-ups.’

She laughs.

‘So what exactly do you do? Like, what’s the process? I’m fascinated.’

‘Well, I usually walk through the property first, get a feel for the place,’ I explain. ‘Then I create a mood board based on the architecture, the target buyer, the light, even the postcode sometimes. There’s a big difference between styling a city apartment for a young professional and dressing a place like this.’

Joanne nods along, clearly captivated. I always worry about boring people, when I bang on about my job, but she seems genuinely curious.

‘Then I source things – it can be big things, like furniture, artwork sometimes, rugs, plants, textiles, or small things like bottles of wine and candles – whatever the space needs. It’s aboutfinding balance and creating an atmosphere. Making it feel aspirational but also possible. Like, “Okay, this is how I live. I casually have fresh peonies in my kitchen and perfectly misaligned coffee-table books about Scandinavian design.”’

She laughs again. ‘I do love the peonies.’

‘I know,’ I say with a grin. ‘They’re fake. Don’t tell anyone.’

‘So what actually sells a house?’ she asks, leaning forward. ‘I mean, aside from having it all. What gets the potential buyers on the hook on the day?’

‘Honestly? Details,’ I say. ‘It’s all in the details. Smells, for example – they make a huge difference. People walk in and if the place smells dusty or like last night’s dinner, they’re already turned off. But if it smells like fresh linen or warm vanilla, suddenly it feels like home.’

‘Oh, I’ve got a cupboard full of diffusers,’ she says proudly.

‘Perfect,’ I reply. ‘And if you’ve got time before a viewing, baking something – like cinnamon rolls or even just warming some cookie dough – works a treat. It sounds cliché but it really taps into the cosy home vibe. I did it once at a house just outside York and everyone made an offer on the day – it was a beautiful house, sure, but you never know. Maybe it helped.’

I laugh, to let her know I’m sort of joking, but things like that do make a difference.

Joanne raises her brows, impressed.

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