Page 75 of Going Overboard

‘Makes sense, that’s why I’m so good at cricket, I distract my competitors,’ he replies jokily. ‘But my eyes are up here. Focus.’

I snort with laughter.

‘I’ll do my best,’ I reply.

He runs past me, fingers grazing my waist as he goes, and it sends a silly little shiver down my spine.

We’re winning – not by a landslide, and not that it has anything to do with me, but enough to get under their skin (well, Todd and Nikki’s).

I catch Todd staring again. Not glancing. Staring.

He’s got that look on his face, like he’s trying to do a cryptic crossword. It’s like he just can’t make sense of what’s happening. Like all of the pieces of the puzzle are here, but he can’t quite fit them together.

Al calls his name and passes him the ball, but Todd doesn’t react in time, he’s too busy looking my way. The ball bounces off his shoulder with a loud boing, ricocheting straight into Nikki’s face.

It happens so fast I almost don’t register it. One second she’s flipping her hair and shouting at Kira to at least make an effort, the next she’s clutching her nose and making that noise. And it’s so familiar. A high-pitched, almost yodel-like cry. I’ve heard that cry before and… oh my gosh… it’s her… Nikki is the crying girl from the toilets at the wedding where Todd dumped me… the crying girl from the wedding where Todd dumped me is Nikki.

‘Shit,’ I blurt to myself.

‘Are you okay?’ Brody asks me as everyone crowds around Nikki to make sure she’s okay.

But it’s like I can’t really hear him. I’m right back in that cubicle,replaying my conversation with Nikki, trying to remember what she said, what I said. How could I have known it was her? I didn’t know her, she didn’t introduce herself, I didn’t even see her face. But she was talking about Brody and I… I told her to dump him. I said that if she wasn’t happy, that wasn’t enough, she should find someone who made her happy.

Ha, and then she found Todd, so that serves me right for getting involved in someone else’s business, but I was just trying to be nice and supportive and a girl’s girl and… shit.

I can’t believe I told her to leave him. That was the night that changed everything. It can’t be a coincidence that she dumped Brody and Todd dumped me. I wonder if they were talking about getting together, or already together – I wonder if I gave her the push that made her give Todd the ultimatum that made him dump me.

The fallout zone just feels so huge, and it feels like me who dropped the bomb, who got us dumped, who got Brody bad press. Even if I didn’t technically drop the bomb, I helped build it, or detonate it, or something.

I drag my mind back to the present. Kira is checking Nikki over – Nikki who looks fine, but is definitely milking it.

What am I supposed to do? I could say something, I guess. I could connect the dots out loud, for everyone to hear. I could confess. Explain. Apologise… if I need to? I sort of feel like I do need to, for indirectly messing up Brody’s public image, with one poorly timed pep talk.

Or… I could stay quiet. Let it go, pretend I haven’t pieced the puzzle together. Well, Nikki didn’t see me either, she doesn’t know it was me who encouraged her to pull the trigger. Everyone’s getting along well enough. Brody and me, whatever we are, it’s working. It’s fun. It’s helping us get the closure we need. And I’m not crying over Todd any more – I know for sure that I don’t want him back, Brody doesn’t want Nikki, the plan is working. It has worked.

Perhaps this is what moving on really looks like – choosing to leave the past where it is. Not because you’re running from it, but because it’s no longer chasing you.

Brody jogs back over, wiping sweat from his brow, his eyes scanning mine as he tries to work out where I went.

‘Are you sure you’re okay?’ he asks. ‘Nikki is fine, don’t worry.’

I look at him. Really look. And then I smile.

‘Yeah, I’m good,’ I tell him. ‘Great, actually.’

His smile matches mine.

‘Don’t look quite so pleased she got hit in the face,’ he whispers.

I laugh.

‘That’s not why I’m smiling,’ I insist.

‘I’ll believe you,’ he replies. ‘Let’s get back to it then.’

The game picks back up – Nikki still sulking, Todd glaring harder, Kelsey yelling strategy like I’m even listening, Al being huge and Brody being Brody.

He looks so happy, like he’s having a blast, and he really doesn’t seem all that bothered about Nikki.

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