Page 90 of Going Overboard

‘It’s a bit late to be old-fashioned now, isn’t it?’ Nikki chimes in.

Kelsey pulls a face but doesn’t rise to it.

‘I think people will love the food,’ she tells us. ‘It’s authentically Italian.’

Nikki scoffs. Honestly, what is her problem?

Kelsey turns to her. ‘What now?’ she asks.

Brody slides his hand into mine under the table. He doesn’t say anything, just squeezes gently. Reassuring. I appreciate it, but I’m not too worried – mostly because there’s no pool here, so Nikki can’t hurt me.

‘Authenticity matters,’ Nikki says. ‘Not everyone around here is authentic though.’

Kelsey keeps her smile firmly in place.

‘I love everyone here, and that’s what matters to me,’ she tells her.

Nikki sits forward in her seat, like she’s gearing up to say something else.

‘Whatever you’re getting at, Nikki, just let it go,’ Brody tells her.

Presumably she’s talking about him.

‘Actually,’ Nikki says, leaning in, looking far too pleased with herself, ‘this is information you’ll want to hear – you especially, Brody.’

‘I doubt that,’ he replies.

‘But it’s about Jessa,’ she says. ‘She’s wanted you longer than she’s let on.’

Brody and I exchange a look and a smile. She couldn’t be more right, could she? It’s like our own little in-joke.

‘You’re smiling now, but wait until you hear this,’ Nikki continues. ‘She – Jessa – told me to dump you.’

Okay, she’s got everyone’s attention now.

‘She told me to break up with you, Brody. She said you were supposed to be my partner, I wasn’t supposed to be your therapist, and that your commitment issues were your problem,’ she says. ‘And then she said, like her granny used to say: fuck around, find out. Meaning if you’re going to mess me around, then I should show you the consequences. Dump you.’

‘That is your line, Jessa,’ Todd points out. ‘That’s your joke.’

‘Okay, but we all heard her say it the other day,’ Kelsey reminds everyone.

‘Yeah, but look at her face,’ Nikki replies. ‘It’s got guilt written all over it. And someone is clearly tipping the press off…’

I do feel flushed. Well, it’s true, isn’t it? I did say that. I didn’t know I was talking about Brody at the time – I didn’t even know who Brody was – because we were in the toilets. She’s spinning it to try to make me look bad. And it certainly isn’t me tipping the press off.

I don’t want to lie, obviously, because that would only make me look worse. But if I’m going down, she’s coming with me. Todd too.

‘You were the one saying you wanted to dump him, and now I have all the facts, I know that you were saying it because you’d met someone else,’ I reply. ‘And I know it was Todd because right after we spoke you went to find him, and you told him to dump me, so that you could have him.’

There’s a voice in the back of my mind that says this sounds a little bit like we’re fighting over Todd and that seriously gives me the ick, because Todd is really not worth fighting over.

It seems like we’re attracting a bit of a crowd, our raised voices catching people’s attention. Typical loud English people abroad, ruining the ambience for everyone.

‘The two of you were so, so obviously cheating on us,’ I say. ‘It’s so bloody obvious.’

Brody pulls his hand away from mine, and maybe it isn’t, but it feels fast and tense. It isn’t violent, but it stings all the same. It feels like rejection. Like I’ve gone too far.

‘I need to get some air,’ he says. ‘You guys have dinner without me.’

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