Page 133 of Denim & Diamonds

I’d thought Februarywasthe perfect one for me. But wouldn’t the perfect person love me back? Her reaction—or lack thereof—showed that I’d been seeing everything through rose-colored glasses, expecting more from this situation and continuing to hang on to false hope for far too long. Maybe this was the wake-up call I needed.

Trevor resumed sanding the wall. “Well, if it doesn’t work out between you and February, I’m truly sorry. It’s not easy finding that kind of spark.” He laughed. “Lord knows,Ihaven’t been able to find it here in Meadowbrook.”

“It ain’t from lack of trying, Trev. That’s for damn sure. Pretty certain you’ve dated three-quarters of the town.”

“I’ve had some damn good meals along the way, too.” He winked. “Just not head over heels for anyone.”

“I’m better off alone if I’m not absolutely crazy about someone. My son will grow up watching me. I want to teach him to always reach for the stars. Never settle.”

“It’s too bad February has that job…because you’re definitely crazy abouther.”

“See, I don’t feel that way about her career,” I explained. “One of the things I love about her is her drive. Her career is part of who she is. I just wish there were a way for me to fit into the equation.” I looked away. “But maybe what we had wasn’t meant to last forever. As humans, we’re trained to think that in order for someone to matter in your life, you have to marry them or die next to them. But maybe sometimes people just come into your life and change you for the better. Then they move on and spread their magic to someone else.”

“You’re getting introspective in your old age, brother.” He chuckled and whacked me on the arm. “But are you really believing your bullshit right now? It’s okay for this situationnotto have a bright side. It can just be shitty with no solution.”

“Well, that it is. But I gotta find a way to pick myself up. And if that means lying a little, so be it. My son needs the best version of me. I can’t give that to him if I’m walking around every day with a damn broken heart, pining over a woman I can never have.”

I finally turned on my drill, vowing to get to work and try to stop thinking about her.

***

When I got back to the house that afternoon, the moment the babysitter placed Patrick in my arms, all was right in the world again.

“I missed you so much, little buddy.” I kissed his forehead.

He cooed. I told myself he was tellingme he’d missed me, too.

“How was he?” I asked her.

“Really fussy after you left this morning, but it got better as the day progressed. He ate great, but he’s due for another bottle soon.”

“I never imagined how difficult being away from him would be. Every time I’ve left him has been tough, and so far it hasn’t gotten any easier.”

She smiled. “Trust me, it will. The best part of my day is dropping my kids off at school, heading home to make a fresh pot of coffee, kicking my feet up, and giving myself a half hour before I have to start the day. You’ll come to relish that time apart one day. But when they’re tiny like this, it’s hard. I know.”

Tori looked to be about my age. She was a friend of Linda’s, and my sister-in-law had mentioned that Tori was divorced. That’s really all I knew about her.

“How old are your kids now?” I asked.

“Five and three. A boy and a girl, in that order.”

“Nice.” I smiled.

“Their father and I split when I was pregnant with my youngest.”

“That must’ve been tough.” I rocked Patrick. “I’m sorry it didn’t work out with your husband.”

“Ex.And don’t be. He cheated, and I’m better off without him.”

“Ah.” I nodded. “Then I would agree, yes. You’re better off without him, though I’m sure it’s not easy on the kids.”

“We make it work.”

As silence filled the air, I felt a little awkward because she seemed like she expected me to say something else. Meanwhile, I was just ready to be left alone with my son. The longer she stayed in place, themore I got a vibe that maybe she was interested in more than babysitting for me.

Is it my imagination?

“Before I forget like a dumbass, here…” I reached into my pocket to hand her some cash.

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