Page 17 of Replay

I nodded. “Yeah. Mom and Dad were big on education. They had to drop out of school when they got pregnant, and they wanted to be sure we could finish our own degrees. Nora was supposed to be a doctor, so getting pregnant was a big bump in that road.”

Josh watched me, waiting for me to continue. He’d always been a good listener.

“Anyway, it was right around the time that you—” I flapped a hand his way. “She announced she was pregnant and was dropping out of school to have the baby. Mom and Dad were freaking out. They were really upset about it, and that Arlo wasn’t the one dropping out of school.”

Josh cocked his head. “Arlo is the father? And did they think that would happen to us? That you’d get pregnant and drop out? We were careful.” He bit his lip. “Mostly.”

“I know. But Nora was too.”

“Huh.” Josh’s brow was creased. “So, they lied to me?”

I shrugged. “Kind of? I mean, they’d already been talking to me about how what school I picked was a big decision, and I shouldn’t let other factors influence me.”

“Like me.”

“Like you. And then when Nora got pregnant? That gave them something else to worry about. With Nora pregnant, I was the daughter left to make the family dreams come true.”

His shoulders drooped. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have texted you like that. I should have talked to you.”

But he wasn’t the only one. I’d been so insecure in how I looked and my lack of social popularity that I hadn’t asked him any questions. “I’m sorry too, Josh. I should have asked you why you were doing it. I was just too hurt. And then when I heard you were with Rhonda…” That had convinced me my low self-esteem was correct.

“Mom said it would make sure you didn’t choose a school for me.”

“It worked.”

“Fuck.”

Exactly. And I was going to have a long chat with my parents. I’d been so pissed that Josh had taken away my autonomy, but they’d done the same thing. They were the new targets of my anger. Apparently I wasn’t totally over what had happened back then.

“So, are they happy now?” he asked. “You got your degree, you’re getting your master’s—they must be proud of you, huh?”

If only it was that simple. They weren’t happy that I moved to Toronto. They wanted me to get my degree but also stay home where they could feel part of my success. I needed some distance to feel free.

I had to process all this new information. And for that I needed alone time. I stood. “Sure. Well, thanks for the donairs and the apology.”

Josh stayed seated, eyes on the countertop, shoulders tensing. He wanted something else.

“So, Katie, I was hoping…” He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck, looking up at me through his ridiculous eyelashes.

I crossed my arms. “What?” If he thought we could pick up from where we’d been before he smashed my heart, he was sooo wrong. I understood he’d been manipulated, but there were years of resentment to work through. And I wasn’t in Toronto to find a boyfriend. I had my own dreams, and Nora’s life was still an object lesson.

“That maybe we could be friends?”

My jaw dropped. “You want to be friends?” Josh Middleton, star of the Toronto Blaze hockey team, was not suffering from any lack of people wanting to spend time with him. He wasn’t lonely, so why?

He nodded. “Yeah, I’d like that. We could be friends, right? We used to like to watch movies and stuff. We had fun, even without sex.”

“Why would you want me for your friend?” I’d seen the people wearing jerseys and T-shirts for the team on campus, and a lot of them had Middleton across the back. Not as many as Cooper, but still. He was a professional athlete. Everyone would want to be his friend.

“I like you.”

There was no reason for that to make me waver, for my defenses to soften. He liked me? How was that possible? It had been five years. He didn’t know me. “I’m not the same person I was five years ago. You might not like the me I am now.”

But that felt wrong even as I said it. Back in high school, we shouldn’t have fit. Yet our differences somehow balanced out and we worked. Those basic character traits, they couldn’t have changed that much, could they?

Josh frowned. “Well, some things have changed, obviously. Like, I’m in the NHL now and not living with my mom. And you’re not with your family, and you’re doing your math thing. But you’re still you.” His frown cleared as he settled that.

“I might be a total bitch now.”

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