Page 9 of Knot The Only Onee
We moved slowly around the property. James was following the fence line. He mentioned looking for any damages that would need fixing. Simon and Alena stayed a little behind us, talking amongst themselves.
“You’ve ridden before?” James looked over his shoulder and down at me.
“When I was little.” I met his dark gaze. “It was an escape for a while.”
I didn’t finish the thought. Because it would mean having to tell him my parents took away my horse after I was spending more time in the stables than anywhere else. That was not what a ‘good omega’ did.
They didn’t spend their entire days riding and grooming horses. Or with their heads in a book. Nope, that was not the behavior that landed a suitable pack or alpha match.
We hadn’t been in the tightest circles of Society. My parents forever sought out ways to rise through Society’s ranks, and one fundamental way to do that was through an arranged marriage. My two older sisters had secured suitable matches, and while I was a teenager, our family status had soared.
But it brought to light that I wasn’t a typical omega. It was something my parents–specifically my mother–couldn’t stand. So many nights I was sent to bed without food or water because I didn’t perform to Mother’s standards in finishing lessons. I could barely talk without a stutter, and stress or anxiety made it even worse.
Why did I keep thinking about this? It was going to drive me insane if I kept thinking about the past and all the ways my parents tried to push me through a square hole. I was a very round peg, thank you very much, and it had taken years of living with the Russo’s and talking to Simon to determine there wasn’t anything wrong with me.
I just didn’t fit into their standard of what an omega should be. But there wasn’t anything wrong with that. I was just as deserving of love and affection as any other. Seeing Alena with Simon and his pack had restored some of my faith. Maybe someday I’d be able to find alphas or betas that looked at me like they looked at her.
James clicked his tongue and steered his horse around to come around as he looked over his shoulder at me. He didn’t say anything, but those intelligent eyes took me in. It was as if he could see straight through to my soul and knew what I’d been thinking.
I shivered, looking away and focusing on my posture as we moved up a hill. I looked around, enjoying the nature and greenery around me—anything to keep my eyes away from James and his damned all-knowing stare.
We stopped about twenty minutes into the ride in front of a section of fence that looked like it had been knocked down. James got down from Sage to squat next to the fencing. He pulled out a small pad of paper and pencil from his back pocket and wrote some things down. His brow furrowed, and his jaw was clenched as he stood up and blew out a breath.
“Anything wrong?” Simon pulled closer on his horse.
“The fence line keeps having issues like this more and more often. I’m not sure what’s causing it.” James rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s becoming a hassle. I’m not sure if it’s a bunch of kids doing a prank or what. Cause I know for a fact it can’t be anything natural or because of the animals. It’s too deliberate, and the lines are cut, not broken or stretched.”
“Dispute with a neighbor?” I asked before I could stop myself.
James glanced over at me. “Possibly. We aren’t very friendly with the ones to the east, but I can’t imagine they’d stoop to something this low. I’ll have to talk with them just in case, though.”
“Why not set up security cameras around the fences?” Alena looked around the area. “It couldn’t hurt.”
James did a quick fix of the fence line while we waited using tools he had in his saddle bags. I stayed on Sage, petting the beautiful horse, and she didn’t move a muscle beyond eating some grass. I observed James while his attention was diverted elsewhere, mostly because I was a coward.
But he didn’t acknowledge Alena’s suggestion in any way. He’d avoided even looking at her, trying to pass it off as if he hadn’t heard her. He was trying too hard not to respond, which meant there was something more he didn’t want to say.
One thing I was always good at was reading body language and facial expressions. I may not be the best at handling social situations, and I didn’t verbally communicate well, but I’d learned a long time ago how to read people.
It had been helpful many times when I needed to avoid my parents if they were too upset.
Been there, done that way too many times, and had the scars from my father’s belt to prove it.
“It’s getting late.” James rose to his feet and swiped the back of his hand across his brow to clear away the droplets of sweat that had formed. He set his hat back on his head and moved over to grab the reins of his horse. “Better get back to the house. If we’re late for dinner, Lucas will be very upset.”
And just like that, we were on our way back.
James was silent and rigid as we rode, making it impossible for me to talk to him. There was no gentleness to him right now. He was all hard muscles and a smooth gate as we rode. I admired his posture, but I couldn’t compliment him.
Not when he was completely shut down.
I bristled, trying not to feel hurt at his closed-off demeanor.
He would be the most difficult of my new bosses to figure out.
Well, Noah might be if I kept avoiding him. He was just… so much that it overwhelmed me. He made heat curl low in my belly, and the obscene things that ran through my mind at first glance made me want to run and jump on top of him.
But I would never do that because he would never want an omega like me. One with mental health problems, who tended to lose track of time when I got too engrossed in a book or too deep in accounting problems.
