Page 39 of From West, With Regret

It isn’t hard and fast. It’s slow and methodical. Like the blow of the breeze over the surface of the water. Like a whisper over bare skin. Like the sound of my name coming from West’s mouth as though he’s said it a thousand times before.

I’m falling.

The blood rushes to my head, and I crack my eyes open. Charleigh and Julianna are sifting through the rack of dresses one of Julianna’s designer friends brought over thirty minutes ago. I’m pretty sure some of them cost more than the average person will make in a lifetime, but what Julianna wastes in expensive taste, she makes up for with her charity work.

She gasps and pulls off a floral dress from the rack that’s covered in glittering sequins—not one I would pick out for myself. But it will look stunning on Charleigh, even if Julianna’s only holding it up to herself.

One thing I’ve noticed about my new best friend, Charleigh, is that she wears flowers at least six days of the week. Where she adores bright and obnoxious colors, I like fading into obscurity.

“Come on, London,” Julianna says to me. From how I’m lying on her bed, she and Charleigh are upside down. Julianna bends at the waist and talks to me with her head cocked to the side. “Iknowyou’ll find something in Massimo’s collection.”

I sigh, lifting my head up and spinning around to sit on the edge of Julianna’s oversized bed.

“Your place is beautiful.” I glance around the large open space, noting the touches of white, beige, and green accents scattered throughout Julianna’s new apartment. She is a well-known interior designer in the city, but seeing her work in her own space, I can tell how talented she is.

“Thank you.” Julianna grins. “Asher got me a killer deal on this place. I hated the one on the other side of the city. The view is better from here.”

She’s right, it is. The view of the harbor isn’t obstructed, reminding me of where Holt’s yacht is parked, which brings me to being out on the water with West the other day.

I eye Charleigh as she studies herself in her reflection of Julianna’s floor-length mirror, running her hand over the dress that’s draped across her front.

“You seem to have an eye for picking out dresses that suit us,” I tell Julianna. “Is there one on the rack that speaks of me?”

Julianna claps her hands gleefully and spins on the ball of her foot with a squeal. “Okay,” She’s already flicking through them as if she hasn’t already looked at them a thousand times over. “You’re a little more on the introverted side, but I can tell you aren’t shy when it comes to your body.” She gives me a cheeky grin. “I gathered that on the yacht.”

“I loved that gold bikini,” Charleigh gushes, her eyes finding me in the reflection. “You looked so hot in it.”

I stifle a laugh and bite down on my lip.

“For sure,” Julianna agrees, removing a red dress. She shakesher head and places it back on the rack. “I noticed West couldn’t keep his eyes off you.”

“Not true,” I’m quick to dismiss.

I’m lying, though. It’s all I felt the other day, his eyes on me, burning me from the inside out. I was a powder keg, ready and waiting to be lit.

I knew what I was doing when I wore that bikini. I wanted his eyes on me. My heart raced at the idea of what seeing me like that did to him, and it was obvious in the way he constantly cleared his throat or adjusted in his seat.

He couldn’t sit still.

Mission accomplished.

I haven’t pinpointed my feelings yet, but the thrill I get when thinking about West is addictive. Something I’ve never felt before.

“West was Heath’s brother, though. Then again, I heard they weren’t close. They didn’t even talk to each other at Julianna’s party,” Charleigh says.

“Yeah,” I agree. “I didn’t even know West was there. Ironic how small the world can feel even in the largest city in the world.”

“Do you know what happened between them?” Julianna asks. “Sounds like they were practically strangers, not brothers.”

“Sort of.” I look away, keeping West’s secrets to myself. These women are two of my closest friends now, but I feel protective of what West has told me. He doesn’t want everyone to know the depth of his past when I would give anything to know mine. “But Heath and I didn’t have a good marriage. Not sure if Selene told you.”

“She hasn’t.” Charleigh’s sympathetic eyes find me in the reflection of the mirror.

I nod in appreciation for my sister’s discretion. Charleigh and Julianna know about my amnesia, but they don’t know thesordid details of my marriage. “He was abusive. More mentally than anything. At first, I felt awful he’d died, but it’s funny because the more time passes, the more I learn about myself.”

“Like what?” Julianna asks, tipping her head to the side, her brows furrowing deeper.

“That I’ve been spending the last year of my life with him pretending to be someone I wasn’t. That my love for myself was greater than the love I had for him.”

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