Page 78 of From West, With Regret

“I know, but I knew you would find me.” She shrugs and sighs. “I’ve been trying to stay off my phone. Social media has been a little much lately. After months of pouring over my manuscript, I’m giving myself a break from technology.”

“I get that.” I nod, playing with a single flower on display near the register.

“I saw Grandma the other day.” Selene’s mouth dips into a frown. “She misses you.”

“I want to see her.” I didn’t realize until now how I’ve put everyone at a distance, caught up with my own problems. “Next time you go, I’ll come with you.”

Selene reaches out and squeezes my hand, her mouth tilting into a smile. “She’ll love that. Okay…” She thrums her fingers on the counter. “It’s been entirely too long since we’ve talked.” She lifts her hands in surrender. “I know you aren’t exactly an open book, so if you don’t want to tell me everything, you don’t have to. I don’t want to push you.”

“No.” I straighten my back. “I want to.” I stare blankly at the single flower again. “It’s hard to explain, but I think only living with half my memories, and with my marriage to Heath, it’s held me back from being myself. Living here in the city with you and making friends with Charleigh and Julianna has helped. Working on these pieces for West’s bars has done...”

“Oh, yeah.” Selene dips her head, pulling for my attention. “About that.”

“About what?” I crack a smile.

“West.” Her shaped eyebrows rise. “I may have been a bit drunk last night, but the girls told me about how West beat the shit out of some guy before the both of you left. What happened?”

Biting back the feeling I had last night when the man was at my back, or the vision of his blood spurting across the club dancer’s legs, I think about all the good parts. How West protected me without hesitation. How he confessed his feelings for me, leading the way for me to confess mine.

I fill Selene in on every detail. How I wanted to get away from him because I couldn’t breathe and how I melted when he told me he’d kill for me as if it’s something completely normal to say. Telling her about that moment leads me to tell her about the night before in my makeshift studio closet, too.

By the time I’m done telling her everything, up until the second I walked in here with our triple espressos, her jaw is practically on the floor.

“Holy shit, London.” She clamps her mouth shut and swallows before breathing out. “I don’t know whether to be excited or angry with you.”

“Angry with me?”

“Yeah.” She scoffs. “This is insane, and I can’t believe all of this has been going on without you telling me any of it.”

“You haven’t exactly been open with me, either,” I argue back. Then I remember her note. “Your note. You said in your note we were talking men. Plural. So, this isn’t just about West, is it?”

The only response I get from my sister is a coy smile.

“Who?” I ask her. God, it feels like it’s been forever since Selene and I talked about men. “Is it Holt?” I whisper, glancing around as though Julianna or Holt might overhear.

Selene’s eyes spread wide, then she frowns, shaking her head. “No, it isn’t Holt. I met someone through a book blogging account. He’s also a writer and editor. We met for coffee one time but that’s it.” She shrugs. “I think I like him. I don’t know yet. I kind of want to keep this to myself. For now.”

I can’t help but smile, thankful my sister is no longer in the writing cave like she has been over the past several months.

“Anyway.” She lifts her shoulders and blows out a dramatic breath. “That’s all I’m going to say about it right now because it’s not nearly as serious as everything you’re telling me.”

“Well.” I breathe deeply, the heaviness of the conversation quickly shifting back to me. “It isn’t everything.”

“What?” She chuckles sarcastically. “How could there possibly be more?”

I nervously play with my tongue piercing. “I can’t explain it, but I think some of my memories are starting to come back.”

“Oh, my God.” Selene gasps, covering her mouth. Her pink-glossed lips disappear, and her eyes spread wide again. Then she’s shuffling around the counter to meet me. She clips the edge, and it hits her gut, but it doesn’t faze her. She stops in front of me. “How do you know?”

I wrap my hand around the base of my neck. “They’ve been coming back to me really since Heath’s death. More so since I’ve been living here and working with West.”

“Are you okay?” Selene grabs my arm. I don’t miss the worried expression etched into her gorgeous face. She’s worried about me because she knows the ones I had before always sent me spiraling into a panic attack.

“I’m fine,” I tell her, dropping my gaze, knowing I’m not ready to share how dark some of them are. “I just haven’t made sense of them yet. I know they’re ones I’ve never remembered before or seen until recently. I’m also having these dreams…” I lift my gaze back to hers. “But I swear they aren’t dreams. They feel too real to be.”

“Dreams about what?”

“West.”

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