Page 114 of At the Heart of It
She swallowed hard, wondering how much he actually understood. She dug her fingernails into her palms, willing herself to stay calm. To be professional.
“This is so much worse than you think.”
Kate wasn’t sure what made her whisper those words. Maybe something about the kindness in the cameraman’s face.
“I understand.” Pete set the camera on the counter and rubbed his knuckles through his beard. “I have eyes, Kate. I see more than you think I do.”
She shook her head, certain that couldn’t be true. “No.”
“Why do you think I wouldn’t film that first blindside in Viv’s office? The one where they told her about the divorce.” He cleared his throat. “Why do you think I talked Chase out of having my crew tail you last week?”
Kate squeezed her eyes shut, not sure she could handle any more revelations. Not sure she had the strength to go back out there and talk to the crew. When she opened her eyes, Pete was watching her with a tenderness that made her chest ache.
“We do what we can to cushion the blow,” Pete said. “To bring some humanity to this business. But beyond that, we do what the job requires.”
“I know,” she replied. “But knowing doesn’t make it suck less.”
“Sucking is just part of life.”
She snorted. “That’s for damn sure.”
Pete gave her a small smile. “We sound like self-help gurus.”
Kate choked on a mirthless little laugh as her heart twisted tight in her chest. “Yeah,” she muttered. “We should have a TV show.”
Two hours later, Kate leaned back against the headboard of her hotel bed and picked up her phone.
“Stop doing that.” Amy snatched the phone from her hand and set it on the nightstand. In its place, she stuck a cheap hotel wineglass between Kate’s fingers. “Drink up.”
“I want a beer.”
“No, you don’t,” Amy said. “You want Jonah, so you’re trying to find him in liquid form.”
“That’s deep.”
“Yeah, that’s what happens when I spend sixteen hours a day hanging around a bunch of shrinks and self-help fanatics.”
Amy scooted herself across the bed and slid into place beside Kate. Lifting her own wineglass, she took a sip. Kate watched her, grateful for the friendship even if she wasn’t in the mood for a drink.
She set her untouched wineglass on the nightstand, using the excuse to glance at her phone again. There was still no reply from Jonah. No indication he’d gotten any of her text messages or voicemails or?—
“Stop staring at it,” Amy said. “He’s not going to message you when he’s pissed. Don’t you remember that?” She switched to an imitation of Viv’s serene tone. “‘Average Joe’s temper can run hot, so we’re careful not to start conversations when one of us might say something regrettable.’”
“God.” Kate closed her eyes and inhaled through her nose. “Please say you didn’t just quote Viv at me.”
“The woman knows her shit. Especially when it comes to Jonah.”
That wasn’t much comfort to Kate, but it was probably true. She sighed and picked up her wine. It tasted a little like cat pee, but not in a bad way.
“Marlborough sauvignon blanc,” Amy said. “It’s my favorite.”
“Thanks.”
Kate took another sip, then set the glass down again. “I just keep thinking I could have done something differently. If I’d gotten them to hold off on springing things on Jonah, or maybe if I’d worked harder to convince Chase that?—”
“Kate, no. You did your job.”
“I did my job like an asshole.”
