Page 117 of At the Heart of It
Kate stomped her foot, irritated with herself for such a cliché gesture and for the fact that it only served to splash muddy water up her calves. “Dammit, Jonah. The execs had the information. You can’t blame them for wanting to catch an authentic reaction from you on camera.”
“Oh, it was authentic, all right. Probably the only authentic thing in this whole made-for-TV mess.”
“That’s not true,” she said. “The way I felt about you—the way I still feel about you?—”
“Spare me, Kate. People who care about each other don’t let the other person get blindsided on national television. They don’t plot behind that person’s back to make the other person look like an idiot. You just don’t do that.”
Kate swallowed hard, wishing she could make him understand. Wishing she could make herself understand. “You were a Marine,” she tried. “You know what it’s like to have to carry out orders you may not agree with.”
A muscle ticked in his jaw. “Yeah, and I also understand about integrity and honor. About not sacrificing people for your own self-interests.”
She took a shaky breath, wishing she could say more. Wishing her goddamn contract hadn’t tied up her hands like a Thanksgiving turkey.
“I know it’s hard to understand,” she said slowly, “but this show is important. Not just to me and to my career, but to potential viewers,” she said. “If it can help even a handful of people who are struggling, isn’t it worth a little sacrifice to get them to tune in and watch?”
Jonah’s eyes narrowed. “Spoken like someone who wasn’t the one making the sacrifice.”
She blinked hard, but her eyelids had given up the fight. A tear slipped down one cheek, then another. Or maybe that was the rain, trailing through her hair and down the back of her neck. She shivered under the porch light, wishing her brain weren’t picturing how this would all look on camera.
It would be a terrific shot.
“I love you, Jonah.”
A flash of emotion played across his face. Surprise, hurt, confusion. He stared at her for a moment, then glanced at the bush over her shoulder. “Let me guess. Are the hidden cameras documenting this?”
“What? No, of course not!”
“Oh, right—because you’re above using a hidden camera to get the shot you want?” He shook his head. “I saw the one in your hand at Viv’s place.”
Ice slashed through her. “I was just?—”
“Carrying out orders?” Jonah shook his head. “That’s more than just a passive role in the game. You were in charge, Kate. And I was the dupe who fell for it.”
Kate’s gut churned. “No one meant to make you look stupid, Jonah. That’s not what it was about.”
“No? You mean it was just a happy bonus?” He snorted. “From the start, that’s what everyone wanted. The chest-thumping Neanderthal who’d curse and say stupid shit and take his shirt off on cue.”
“That’s not true.”
“That’s exactly how it’ll play on TV,” he said. “Tell me I’m wrong.”
Kate swallowed hard. He wasn’t wrong. That was the worst of it. “Jonah, I never meant for it to happen like this.”
“Yes, you did.” The venom was gone from his voice, replaced by a tiredness that made Kate ache more than his anger had. “You wanted drama. You wanted a spectacle, and you got it. Congratulations, Kate.”
And with that, he shut the door in her face for the second time that day.
Jonah turned and stalked through his entryway without a word. Thunder boomed behind him like some fucking special effect in a TV show. In his TV show.
“Fuck you,” he muttered, then felt like a jackass for cursing at the weather.
From the back of the sofa, Marilyn regarded him with silent judgment.
The person stroking the cat’s back wasn’t as silent.
“Don’t you think you were kind of harsh just now?” Jossy said.
“No.”
