Page 123 of At the Heart of It
Kate swallowed. “Right.”
Viv sat and breathed for several long moments. Then she looked up at the ceiling, her perfect, pointed chin tilted toward Kate like an offering.
I can see up her nostrils, she thought, and then felt guilty.
She felt another wash of guilt when Viv met her eyes again. “You know, if there were a camera in the room and this were all part of an unscripted television program, this is where I’d smile sagely and assure you that I knew all along,” Viv said. “That I always had a sense about this, and that the two of you belong together.”
“I—”
“But that’s bullshit.”
Kate jumped a little, and Viv sighed. “I don’t mean whether you belong together. I have no idea about that. Although now that I think about it, this makes sense. The way he’d always look at you when he didn’t think you were watching. The way his face lit up when you walked into the room.”
Kate shook her head as a pang of loss rippled through her. “Not anymore. He hates me.”
Viv gave a small smile and shook her head. “Joe isn’t like that. He has a hot temper sometimes, but he’s not capable of hate. It only looks that way because he loves so deeply.”
Kate looked down at her hands. “I’m sorry, Viv. I could give you some excuse about how I never meant for it to happen, but it’s like you wrote in chapter seven of On the Other Hand?—”
“Kate.” Viv clapped her hands together, and Kate looked up sharply. “Please stop quoting me to me.”
“Right.” Kate nodded. She needed to just say it. To spell out the rest of the story and live with the consequences, no matter what those might be. To stop skirting around the facts.
“I knew you loved him and I slept with him anyway and I’m sorry,” she said. “That’s what I came here to say.”
Vivienne nodded. She picked up the cup of tea in front of her and started to take a sip, then seemed to change her mind.
She probably thinks it’s poisoned, Kate thought, and felt worse than she already did. How was that possible?
“I appreciate you telling me,” Viv said. “Coming clean. That takes courage.”
Kate nodded and gripped the armrests of her chair. “For what it’s worth, it’s over between us,” she said. “Jonah and me, I mean. Having me betray him like that—there’s no recovering from that.”
Viv lifted one delicate eyebrow. “You mean the part where you did your job and kept my secrets from him and his secrets from me?” Viv shook her head. “That’s not betrayal.”
“It is to Jonah,” she said. “And sleeping with my idol’s ex-husband when I know she’s still in love with him—” She stopped, not sure she wanted to go any farther. “That’s betrayal, too. A different kind.”
“You’re the one putting labels on things, Kate. Not me.”
Kate swallowed hard and picked up her tea. The paper cup still felt warm, but the liquid inside had turned tepid. She took a sip anyway, trying to wash the taste of guilt from her mouth.
“You want some unsolicited advice from a professional?”
Kate looked up, and felt her heart pick up speed. Clutching the cup a little tighter, she nodded. “Yes, please.”
“Stop looking to me for advice,” Viv said. “It’s time to start trusting your own instincts.”
Kate choked on a small, bitter laugh. “My own instincts just led me off the end of a pier with a pocket full of rocks.”
Viv laughed, too, but hers was real. It was tired and a little sad, but it was a laugh just the same. That made Kate’s heart ache even more.
“So here’s your opportunity, Kate,” she said. “Your chance to learn to swim.”
Three days later, Kate watched as Jonah tugged at his shirt collar and glanced over his shoulder at the towering studio light behind him.
Even Kate had to admit the glare seemed extra hot today, or maybe it wasn’t the light at all. Maybe she was feeling the gaze of Chase Whitfield, who’d shown up on set to watch the glorious return to filming after their short hiatus.
“Nice work, Kate,” Chase murmured as he leaned close enough for Kate to smell onions and expensive aftershave. “I knew I could count on you to do what it took to keep the cameras rolling.”
