Page 31 of At the Heart of It
“No, that was my preface to the biggest one.”
“Which is?” Kate braced herself, hoping it wasn’t a demand she couldn’t meet. Hoping the network would agree to it, whatever the hell it was.
“I won’t pretend Viv and I are still married,” he said. “I don’t know if that idea has been tossed around or if the TV people are jonesing for the happily married vibe they got from us in On the Other Hand, but I can tell you right now I won’t do that. I won’t pretend we’re in love or that there’s some kind of undercurrent of unrequited emotion between us. There’s not, and I refuse to fake it.”
Kate nodded as relief sluiced through her. She told herself it was relief that his condition was fairly minor. The network would agree to it, she felt pretty certain.
But she knew there was more to her feelings of relief. That deep down, she was cheered by the vehemence in Jonah’s denial of feelings for Viv.
“I hear what you’re saying.” Kate dabbed her mouth with her napkin, even though she’d taken only a couple tiny bites of pizza. “It’s true that networks love arced stories when it comes to reality tel—to unscripted TV.” She paused there, wondering if he cared one way or the other whether they called it reality television or something else. “I can’t make any promises, but I can definitely make it clear to the team that you’re not willing to fake a relationship that isn’t there. Under the circumstances, I feel confident they’ll be fine with that.”
“Good.” Jonah chewed thoughtfully for a while. Kate watched as his gaze drifted to the windowsill where judgey-eyebrow cat sat watching them with disdain. A lean little tiger-striped cat tried to jump up onto the sill beside her, but eyebrow cat stuck out one paw and whacked the kitten on the forehead.
Jonah laughed. “Denied.”
“You know, her eyebrows aren’t her only striking feature,” Kate said. “That little spot on her cheek makes her look a little like Marilyn Monroe.”
“Marilyn.” Jonah looked at the cat. “That’s a good name for her.”
“She doesn’t have a name?”
“She just came in. Owner surrender. When that happens, we usually come up with a new name for the cat in case they have negative associations with the old name.”
“That makes sense.” Kate wiped her hands on a napkin and reached for her own bottle of tea. She took a slow sip and wondered why the hell he’d served it warm. “So your conditions sound reasonable. Is there anything you’d like to know from me about the show? About what the network has in mind?”
She expected him to ask something obvious. The format, the timeline, the way his name might appear in the credits.
She didn’t expect the question he really asked.
“Why are you doing this?”
“Me?”
“Yes, you. Why are you so fired up about the TV show, first of all? And why do you give a shit whether I’m part of it?”
Kate thought about how to answer. She picked up her pizza and took a small bite, surprised to find it still warm. She chewed carefully as she considered how much to tell Jonah about her reasons for wanting to make this show.
Bravery, openness, transparency, honesty.
Viv’s words served as a coach in her head.
The acronym is BOTH, and it’s your key to connection with another human. Your ticket to understanding and being understood.
Kate cleared her throat. “My father used to hit my mother,” she said.
Jonah blinked. “Jesus.”
“It was a long time ago. He died in a car accident when I was fifteen, so my mom has been safe ever since.” Kate fought the urge to look down at the table, wanting Jonah to see why this mattered to her. To understand the importance of this TV show beyond a paycheck. “I was really angry about it for a long time. All the way into my late twenties, actually. I was angry at my mother for putting up with it, and angry with my father for doing it in the first place. Angry with myself for not doing something about it.”
His moss-amber eyes studied her with sympathy. “But you were just a kid.”
“I know. I understand that now. And I understand the dynamics of abusive relationships. I also understand how to move past all that. How to break the cycle. I owe that to Vivienne Brandt and the words she wrote in her first book about escaping an abusive relationship. I read that book when I was twenty-eight, and it was like someone shining a flashlight into my brain.”
She watched his face for a reaction, wondering if he heard the reverence in her voice. Wondering if it bugged him to hear his ex-wife referred to like some kind of life-altering shaman.
But she was that to Kate, and she needed Jonah to understand.
Jonah nodded, all traces of the flippant bravado erased from his face. “That book helped a lot of people,” he said. “But Not Broken was Viv’s best work.”
