Page 44 of At the Heart of It
“You?” Kate dropped onto the sofa, the distance thing forgotten for now. “You didn’t do anything wrong. What are you talking about?”
He shrugged and took a sip of his orangey-looking beer. The flicker from the fireplace reflected on his glasses and brought out the amber in his eyes. Kate felt herself getting dizzy and started to blame the beer before remembering she hadn’t tasted it yet.
“I know today was awkward, but trust me that it wasn’t your fault,” Kate said.
“I’m not sure everyone shares your opinion.”
Kate shook her head and rested her glass on the knee of her jeans. “If anything, it’s my fault. Clearly the whole situation was more contentious than I expected it to be. That’s why I came here. I wanted to apologize for that.”
“It was exactly as contentious as I expected it to be,” Jonah said. “No need to apologize.”
He didn’t seem angry or bitter about that. Just resigned. Kate still felt bad. “Obviously we knew it was going to be awkward to have two ex-spouses working together, but I don’t think I realized what a toll it might take on you.”
“On me in particular, or are you having this conversation with Viv as well?”
Kate gripped her glass tighter. It hadn’t occurred to her to have this conversation with Viv. Only with Jonah. She tried not to read too much into that.
“I’m concerned about both of you,” Kate said, deliberately avoiding the question.
“But more about me.”
She wasn’t sure if it was a question or a statement, but he obviously wasn’t going to let the subject lie. “Viv has been on board with this TV program from the start—the planning, the pre-production, the discussions of what it would and wouldn’t feel like. You sort of got thrust in to it at the last minute.”
Jonah grinned. “Here’s where Average Joe would make an inane comment about last-minute thrusting being a great way to save a relationship.”
“Right.” Kate felt a sharp stab of guilt. “I guess that’s what I mean. I worry that I pushed you into something you didn’t have time to think through. That maybe you agreed to this without considering the challenges of being forced back into the Average Joe persona when you’ve been trying to break out of that.”
Jonah shifted his glass from one hand to the other, but didn’t take a sip. He studied her with an intensity that made her want to look away, but she didn’t.
“You’re not responsible for my decision, Kate.”
She bit her lip. “I can be pretty persuasive.”
A ghost of a smile tilted up one corner of his mouth. “I don’t doubt that.”
“I just—look, I’ve been thinking about the other night in your bookstore. About what happened.”
“What happened?”
His smile was full-on, and so she knew he was teasing her. But if she’d learned nothing else from all these damn self-help books, it was the importance of saying what was on her mind. Not skirting around the difficult conversations.
“I kissed you,” she said.
“And I kissed back.”
“Right. But what if I only kissed you because I was trying to manipulate you into doing the show?”
He looked amused by that notion, which Kate probably should have taken as an insult. She waited for him to respond, but instead he lifted his glass and took a slow sip of beer. She watched his throat bob as he swallowed, and for some reason her mouth began to water. Glancing down at her own beer, she wondered if she should try it. Instead, she set it on the coffee table.
Jonah lowered his glass next to hers and looked at her, eyes glinting with amusement. “You think I was so dazzled by your skillful use of tongue that I signed on the dotted line before my hard-on had gone down?”
“Jesus.” His words took her breath away. It was probably the shock value, not the thought of Jonah aroused. Not the thrill of thinking it might have been her who aroused him.
“You’re good, don’t get me wrong,” Jonah said, reading her thoughts. “But I have a little more self-control than that. The best thing I took away from my divorce is the ability to decide for myself what I want.”
He lifted the beer in a mock toast, then took a sip. Kate glanced at Marilyn, who sat perched on the back of the sofa. The cat wore a sharp look of scorn, but the fact that she was here in the first place underscored Jonah’s words. The man could make his own decisions, so maybe Kate hadn’t pressured him into the show.
She looked back at Jonah, letting her gaze drop to his mouth. She shivered as her brain filled with memories of what it felt like to kiss him. What it felt like to have his hands in her hair, his body molded against hers. With a shaky breath, she lifted her gaze to meet his. “It doesn’t bother you to think I might have been trying to manipulate you?”
