Page 63 of At the Heart of It
Jonah looked at his ex-wife and focused very, very hard on not blinking.
“I’m not seeing anyone,” he said slowly. “Are you?”
“No!” She brought her hand down on the table a little too quickly, sending a teaspoon clattering against her saucer. “I’m not. I’m not dating anyone at all.”
“Okay, then,” he said slowly. “You think one of us should start Internet dating or something?”
“There’s an interesting idea.” She picked up her tea and blew on it, then took a cautious sip. “I suppose I could float that out there with the producers. One of us joining a professional online dating network or something.”
“How about if we make it you?” Jonah said, already regretting having broached the subject. “I don’t think I’m really cut out for Internet dating. It all seems like too much exhibitionist bullshit for my taste.”
Viv cocked her head to the side and studied him. “Says the man who walks dogs with his shirt off?”
“Not the same thing,” Jonah said. “That’s for a good cause. Gets people through the door and looking at adoptable pets.”
“Of course, I understand.” She looked at him over the rim of her mug. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea. Maybe there could be some storyline about your shirtless dog-walking duties and all the women you attract.”
“Thanks, but no thanks.”
“Really? I thought you’d want to bring the attention to the shelter. Maybe generate donations for Jossy’s cause or more interest in adoptable animals.”
Hell. He hadn’t thought of it like that. “I guess. Maybe.” He made a mental note to talk to Kate about it. Maybe that could be a way to help Jossy and the shelter without having to fight her to take money from him directly.
“This is wonderful!” Viv smiled. “Let’s keep brainstorming. I like the way this is going.”
Jonah didn’t particularly, but he refrained from saying so. “You mentioned something about remodeling your upstairs bathroom. Maybe they could focus on that.”
“Hmm. Yes. I think they’re looking for something a little more personal.”
Of course they were. Jonah knew it already, but he’d hoped Viv might take the bait. Might be happy with the prospect of something that put more focus on her. It was her damn show, after all.
“What if we spent some time analyzing what went wrong in our own marriage,” Viv said. “Maybe some clips where we each reflect on the role we played in the breakdown of our relationship. I know I have plenty of regrets. Plenty of mistakes I could own.”
Jonah looked at her, wondering if he was supposed to say the same thing. It was true, but was there any benefit to rehashing that now? “Sure,” he said. “I know I fucked up plenty.”
“So maybe that’s a way we could lend some personal insights to the couples we’re helping,” she said. “A way of sharing from our own experiences.”
Jonah frowned, but didn’t reply right away. He didn’t like the idea of tossing out all his dirty laundry for the camera. That’s not what he signed on for, dammit.
Then again, she had a point. He’d learned a few things through the unraveling of his marriage and the whole messy process of divorce. If that could be useful to someone else, maybe he owed it to the world to keep some other poor schmuck from tanking his relationship.
“Maybe,” he said slowly. “I guess I’d be willing to consider it.”
“Wonderful!” Viv beamed at him and Jonah felt like a student who’d just aced an algebra quiz. “I’ll add that to the list they’re sending the network director.”
“Sure,” he muttered, ready for this conversation to be over. “Whatever you want.”
Her brows lifted a fraction of an inch, and she tilted her head to the side. “So overall, you’d say you’re fairly open?”
“I don’t know.” He looked at her, not sure why he felt leery all of a sudden. “I guess I’d want to know about it beforehand, whatever they decide.”
“Of course.”
“And if it’s all the same to you, I’d rather the story be more focused on you than me.”
Viv laced her fingers together on the table and nodded. “That’s good feedback.” She stared at him a moment longer, then unlaced her fingers to reach for her tea again.
Jonah glanced down at his own mug, surprised to see he’d already drained it. He hadn’t touched the muffin, but his stomach wasn’t feeling up to it anymore. Would there someday be a point where being around Viv wouldn’t make him feel this way? Like someone grabbed hold of one of his testicles between a cold thumb and forefinger, not pinching, but not letting go either. Like he was waiting for the ache that may or may not happen.
