Page 108 of Now That It's You
But he spoke again, so she stayed rooted in place. “I started goading him,” Kyle said. “First it was small stuff. Still bullshitting about golf swings and who had the better score. Then I told him about my date the night before. About this hot girl with killer legs and these big, beautiful t—” He cleared his throat. “Anyway, I told him about her, and about another girl the week before who gave me a hand job under the table at dinner and the one I met on some hookup app?—”
“I’m not sure I need to hear this.” Her heard began pounding and she had a sour feeling in the pit of her stomach.
“You do need to hear it.”
“You mean you need to say it,” she snapped.
He nodded once, his jaw clenched in determination.
“All those women,” Meg muttered. “Weren’t you dating Cara then?” She was struggling to remember, struggling with the ugly mental pictures he was painting, and trying to make the whole thing fit within the timeline of her own life.
“No. This was during that month we split up because Cara wanted to reevaluate our relationship.”
“And apparently you wanted to fuck everything that moved.” She hated the seething judgment in her own voice, but Kyle just shook his head.
“That’s just it. It wasn’t true. None of it.”
Meg blinked. “What?”
“There was no girl with the killer legs. No girl who gave me a hand job under the table. No hookup app.”
Blood began pounding in her brain. “I don’t understand.”
“I was provoking Matt.”
Meg stared at him, not sure she understood. She knew she should be asking questions, trying to make the puzzle pieces fit together, but they just tumbled around in the box, rattling against each other with a dull clack.
Kyle took a deep breath. “I told him how great it was to be single. To sample the fruit of a dozen different trees. I teased him about only having one woman for the rest of his life.”
“Me.” The word came out like a croak, her voice dry and crackly, but Meg stayed rooted in place, not willing to run for a glass of water.
“That’s right.” Kyle rubbed his hands over his eyes, closing them for a moment before opening them again to continue the story. “Anyway, things kind of took off from there. I could see he kept texting Annabelle. He got up at one point to use the restroom and he left his phone on the bar. I glanced at some of the texts.”
“What did they say?”
“I don’t remember the exact words, but he was making plans to meet her that night. It was clear my jabs had the intended effect.”
Meg gripped the edge of the sofa, determined not to let her eyes fill with tears. Determined to get some answers. “Your intended effect,” she repeated, not sure she was following. “You wanted Matt to cheat on me?”
He nodded, avoiding her eyes. “Yes.”
“To hurt me?”
“Absolutely not.” His voice was sharp, which might have been sincerity or guilt. She couldn’t tell anymore.
“But why?—”
“I wanted him to cheat and I wanted him to tell you about it.” Kyle’s chest rose as he drew a deep breath. “I didn’t mean for him to wait until the night before the wedding. That was a mistake. Hell, the whole goddamn thing was a mistake, but that part especially—” He shook his head. “Anyway, after it happened, I pushed him to tell you. I told him he needed to start the marriage with a clean slate. I told him you deserved to know, that you’d appreciate his honesty and that you could start your life together with no secrets between you.”
Meg shook her head, trying to understand. “Did you really believe that?”
“No.”
“So why?—”
“Because I wanted him to falter in your eyes. I wanted him to do the one thing I knew you’d never be able to forgive.” His hands balled into fists on his lap, and his eyes held more self-hatred than she’d ever seen from anyone.
Meg swallowed, choking back the urge to feel empathy. “Because you hated him that much?”
