Page 109 of Now That It's You
“No,” he said softly. “Because I loved you that much. And because I didn’t want him to have you.”
The words felt like a kick to the gut. She stared at him, trying to make sense of it all. “So you manipulated your own brother?—”
“Yes.”
“And me.”
Kyle closed his eyes, forehead furrowed with pain. “Yes.”
Her brain replayed the conversation, hanging up on the part about love, but knowing the manipulation was the part she needed to focus on. “You changed the course of my whole life,” she said. “Of Matt’s life.”
“I’m sorry, Meg.” He opened his eyes and the pain there stole Meg’s breath. “It was a selfish thing to do. If I could take it back, I’d do it in a heartbeat.”
She stared at him, trying to imagine what that would look like. She’d be married to Matt now, maybe with a child. They’d be enjoying the riches of her cookbook success together.
No you wouldn’t, her subconscious pointed out. Matt would still be dead. And you would have spent two years trapped in a marriage that didn’t make you happy.
“But I wouldn’t have known I wasn’t happy.”
“What?”
Meg hadn’t meant to say the words aloud, but her head spun like a top. She didn’t know what to think. She didn’t know what to feel. Something hollow and empty and aching had grabbed hold of her gut and wouldn’t let go.
She started to stand up, but realized her legs wouldn’t obey the command. She pressed her feet into the floor, struggling to feel the ground beneath them. “I think you should leave, Kyle.”
He looked at her for a few beats. “If that’s what you want.”
“It is.”
He nodded. “I’ll show myself out.”
She watched him stand up, wiping his hands on his jeans before turning to walk around the chair. His movements were slow, and he looked back at her like he wanted to say something else. But Meg just watched him, unmoving, unwilling to say anything else.
When he got to the door, he turned back and looked at her. “I never stopped loving you, Meg.”
She swallowed hard, ordering herself not to cry. “Lying? Manipulation? Deceit?” She shook her head. “That’s not what love looks like.”
“I know that now.”
So do I, Meg thought, wondering why she had to keep learning that lesson the hard way.
Kyle nodded, the haunted look in his eyes radiating from this far away. “Goodbye, Meg.”
“Goodbye.”
She managed to hold back the tears until the door clicked shut behind him.
Chapter 19
Two days later, Kyle stood barefoot in his dining room polishing a piece of copper. He’d been rubbing the same hunk of metal for an hour, sliding the cloth over the grainy surface until his hand had gone numb.
He should be working in his studio instead of his house. He’d already made a mess of steel shavings in his kitchen sink, the shiny flecks reminding him of the glitter in Meg’s eyes.
But the studio held more memories of Meg. Of her touching his sculptures, confessing her secrets, making love with him on the cot . . .
The doorbell rang, and Kyle looked up from the warm wedge of copper. He set it on the table as his pulse began to gallop. Maybe it was her. Maybe she was ready to talk. Maybe he’d managed to conjure Meg with the force of his own memory.
As he started toward the door, he found himself chanting it in a silent mantra. Please be Meg, please be Meg, please be?—
