Page 21 of Now That It's You
“It’s how I knew I made the right choice. I was sad, obviously, and heartbroken. But I also felt like this huge weight had been lifted from my shoulders.”
Kyle looked at her for a moment, and she waited for him to tell her Matt felt the same way. She braced herself for the sting of hearing the man she’d loved for ten years had walked away from the church that day feeling grateful to escape being shackled to her for life.
But Kyle said nothing, probably because he had more tact than she did.
“I’m glad you landed on your feet,” he said finally. “You always were resilient.”
“Thanks.” Meg folded her legs under her, conscious of her knee brushing his on the sofa before she settled. “Wow, we’ve kind of moved on a bit from tortoise penises and clogged toilets.”
“Maybe we’re evolving.”
“Is that what it is?”
“Or maybe I’m just nosy. Want to tell me what you were thinking in the kitchen, or do you want me to butt out?”
Meg bit her lip. “It’s okay. Honestly, I didn’t realize how often I censored myself until you brought it up.”
Kyle rubbed the back of his hand over his chin, and the soft scratch-scritch sound was oddly soothing. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to,” he said. “I’m not trying to pry. Just thought you might like to get something off your chest.”
“Maybe I would.” Meg took a shaky breath. She couldn’t tell him everything she’d been thinking about the cookbook and her bitterness over Matt’s disinterest. She couldn’t tell him about the silly argument they’d had later that night over how often bath towels should be washed, and she really couldn’t tell him about the makeup sex that left her feeling cold and disconnected from the man she’d intended to marry.
She couldn’t say any of that, but she settled for something close.
“I guess I was thinking about the cookbook. How I wish things had gone differently with that, and that people would have gotten to read all my delicious recipes or see Matt’s beautiful photos. It would have been nice to have it out there in the world for more than just my mom and Kendall to enjoy.” She took a sip of wine and shrugged. “I know that’s unrealistic. You’re an artist. Obviously you’re a lot more acquainted than I am with understanding how disappointment comes with the territory.”
“It’s a beautiful cookbook,” Kyle said. “Truly.”
“Thanks. You want to know a secret?”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “How did I earn another confession?”
“By being a good listener.”
“Yes,” he said, smiling a little. “I want to know another secret.”
Meg sighed. “I always kinda hoped that cookbook would be my big break. Like it might lead to more cookbooks and maybe even my own cooking show on television and maybe—” She stopped, not wanting to get carried away. “Shit.”
“What?”
She nibbled her lip. “I’ve never said that to anyone. Not even to Kendall.”
“The TV thing, or how you wanted your book to do well?”
“The television show.” She forced out a laugh that sounded shaky and weird. “It was a dumb idea. I watch a lot of Food Network stuff, and I’ve always looked up to Chef Melody. Did you know her son is a chef here in Oregon? At Ponderosa Resort.” With a self-conscious chuckle, she kept going. “And Dal Yang is amazing on Fresh Start at Juniper Ridge, but those guys are real professionals. I’m just a caterer.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, Meg.”
“Please.” She scoffed and picked up another chip. “I’m socially awkward and clumsy and also a little bit chubby. I’m the last person on Earth who should be on TV.”
“Meg.” He looked like he didn’t know where to start with that. “You’re funny and smart and fucking beautiful.”
Her cheeks flushed hot and she forced herself to look away from him. “Well, it doesn’t matter now. I’m happy being a caterer. And I’m glad I at least took a stab at chasing my dream, even if it didn’t work out.”
He didn’t say anything right away. In the back of her mind, she begged him to drop it. Why did she say all that anyway?
When he finally spoke, Kyle’s voice rolled out in a low rumble. “Chasing dreams can feel counterproductive sometimes. Like they run off in different directions when you chase them. Kinda like herding cats.”
They both looked at Floyd. Floyd gave a low growl and closed his eyes.
