Page 96 of Hold Still

Ozzy

I SLAM BACKanother shot of whiskey. Why did McKenna have to look so fucking fantastic yesterday? Her outfit was super funky, yet no one else on earth could pull it off but her. And all I wanted to do was rip it off of her and make her scream my name.

But I didn’t.

And she didn’t.

Despite everything, I’m proud she won. All her hard work paid off.Too bad that’s all you were to her—work.

Thankfully, last night was dark. I was so drunk off my ass I wouldn’t have been able to perform anyway. Partied with the women I took to the Big Reveal but wasn’t in any shape to fuck them. I sent them home and went to the Penthouse to sleep it off.

Good thing the bar is always stocked here. I eye another shot, and glace at the clock. My concert’s several hours from now. I toss it back and collapse onto the sofa.

Knocking on the door wakes me. I stroll over to it and look through the peephole. Opening the door for my PA, I mumble, “Hey.”

“Hi there. I’ve been looking all over for you. Took care of Bans.”

How could I have forgotten about my dog? “Thanks, man.” I make my way to the bar and hold up a glass. “Whiskey?”

“No, thanks.”

Aiden watches as I pour myself another and do the shot, his eyes boring into me. “What? It’s only a shot.” I won’t tell him about the others.

“I wanted to let you know Ginger called again about your album. I told her you’re working on it with the band.”

I nod. “Yeah.”

“She’s stopping by your place tomorrow for a sampling.”

Her demand doesn’t shock me. I pour another shot and, fingering the rim, reply, “Fine. The songs are good. I’m sure Platinum will be happy.”

“That’s good news.” He steps up to the bar, tapping his lip. “Why don’t you go down to your dressing room to get ready for tonight’s show? It starts in an hour.”

Where did all the time go? I grab the shot and do it, using my fingers to wipe my mouth. “K, let’s go.”

An hour later, I’m waiting for my cue. The music flows around me but it’s as if I’m not a part of it. I shake my head to rid all thoughts ofherand step onto the platform that lifts me onto the stage. The swell of the audience raises me higher and higher throughout the night. Who needs one woman when you can have the adoration of thousands every night?

I forget the lines to a song, but then cover up my flub by holding the mic out to the audience, which supplies them for me. Close call, but maybe I’ll add it into my routine. When Jazz asks if we’re going to do ‘Take Me’ tonight, I tell him no. I can’t do anything new right now.

The concert ends and we all head backstage. I avoid going to my dressing room, instead heading straight for the afterparty.

Tim bumps my shoulder. “What’s up? You were off tonight.”

“Sorry. Shit on my mind.” Time to deflect. I look around. “Any hot chicks in here tonight?

“Aren’t there always? It’s Vegas, baby.” He grabs a beer and hands one to me.

Walking over to a group of women, I start chatting up a redhead. Her hair reminds me of the time McKenna dyed some of her locks the same exact color, so I move on to a blonde. No—she’s the same exact height as McKenna. After talking with several women, all falling short of the bar set by McKenna, I decide to head home. Alone.

Hopping on Shirley, I race down the Strip, cutting some cars off, feeling reckless. All too soon, I find myself on a residential street. A familiar Honda is parked in a driveway. The lights are off inside the house. Is she with him in the bedroom I’ve never seen? I gun the engine and scream down the street. Why did I come here anyway?

Johnnie Walker is my preferred companion tonight.

THE NEXT MORNING,I wake with an awful headache. “Having too many whiskeys will do that to you,” I mutter as I dive into the pool. The cool water slaps me upside the head, and I punish my body with an hourlong swim.

Finished, I hop onto the patio, my eyes drawn toward the gate. Of course, McKenna’s not there. She never will be again.

After toweling off, I shower and get ready for my meeting with Ginger. It’s now or never for the songs, all of which have McKenna’s imprint on them in some way. Shaking my head as if that would make all visions of her fall out of it, I slip the button through the final hole on my shirt and secure my belt. The doorbell rings and I head for the front door.

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