Page 4 of Ghost

“Howareyour wife and kid?” I asked with a bite to my tone that even I heard. And at the time, I hadn’t given two shits if the statement was fair or not. Or that Brax had no clue what had happened.

“Dead.” His single word had me taking a seat on the bed.

“How? When?” I asked, my voice softer than just seconds ago.

“Head-on collision the day I landed from a mission. Stormy and BJ were on their way to welcome me home. A drunk changed that. It’s going on a year since it happened.” Brax sat down beside me on the bed and leaned his elbows on his knees and dropped his head.

“I’m sorry, Brax,” I said, and henodded,but kept his head bent.

“Thanks.” It was quiet for a minute until Brax spoke again, “She told me, you know? Everything.”

“What?” I whispered.

“Why didn’t you say anything that last day, instead of letting me leave for BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition/SEAL) school, thinking everything was fine?” After he asked, he turned his face toward me, and the pain in his eyes took my breath.

“Does it really matter, Brax? Any of it?” I stood. I needed to put distance between us. “It was years ago. I had no claim on you, justfeelingsthat I didn’t act on, then it was too late. What was I supposed to do on your last day home on leave? Tell you,‘Hey, Brax, saw you and Stormy fucking and oh, by the way, I’ve had a crush on you for the past two years and catching the two of you broke my heart.’Would that have helped in the long run? Would it have stopped you from marrying Stormy when you found out she was pregnant?” I stopped pacing and looked at Brax and ran my handovermy short blond hair. From the look of sadness on his face, I knew I wasn’t going to like his answer, but he wouldn’t have been the Brax I remembered if he had given me the answer I wanted.

“No, it wouldn’t have stopped me. Even if you had told me your feelings, the results would have still been the same when I found out Stormy was carrying my kid. And yeah, I know you can be an active parent without marriage, but I was raised to take responsibility for my actions. You knew my parents. They were great together. My dad had married my mom after he had done twenty years in the service. I was the late in life baby surprise that happens.” Brax stood and walked until he was in front of me.

“Stormy told me after we married that you two had a fight over something stupid and she’d known you had feelings for me, so when she ran into me while I was out with some of the guys, she volunteered to drive me home. I told her I was meeting you in the parking lot at the cinema complex. That you and I were going to see a movie for my last night in town and she said she would drive me there and waitwithme until you got there. I can give you a hundred lame excuses for fucking her in her car, but like you said, doesn’t really make a difference now, does it?”

“No, so I don’t understand why you pulled me into this room? It’s all in the past.”

“Is that why you took off after you graduated high school?”

I knew I could lie, but what was the use. While each of my friendswasfinding their men, I often wondered if it was the past that kept me from settling down, instead of jumping beds with the men from the Ops. Not like I did that as often as some of the other single women.

“When Stormy admitted she was pregnant, I knew I couldn’t be there when you came back to marry her.” Brax frown down atme,and I continued, “We grew up together, Brax. We were friends. I knew you would do right by her and the baby. But I couldn’t be there to watch it. I graduated and took off.Traveledaround for about six months, waitressing when I needed to earn some more money before moving on until I ended up in Riverton, Nevada. I took a waitress job in town at a smalldiner,and it was a place the Ops frequented. I was there about a month, got to know some of the Ops women and they told me I could make a shit ton of money stripping anddancingat Bitches, the Ops’ club, so I did. Before I knew it, I was part of the Ops and have been ever since.” I shrugged.

“Is that what you’re doing now? Stripping for a bunch of bikers?”

It was my turn to frown at Brax’s tone. I wouldn’t apologize for anything I chose in my life, not to Brax or anyone else.

“When I want to, but that isn’t any of your business. Like I said before, I didn’t have a claim onyou,and you don’t have one on me. I’m a Lady Rider, I can damn fucking well do exactly what I want. If I want to strip, I strip. If I want to fuck one of the men, I fuck him. I imagine it’s no different with you since you’re part of Black Hawk. I know they have a strip club and you’re a single male. Bet your bed doesn’t stay cold long.” Iwas beingbitchy,and I didn’t give a damn. Being shut in that room with Brax brought feelings back that I had long ago put to rest.

“Goddammit, Luna—”

“It is Moon now, Ghost.Isn’t that what they called you?”Iinterrupted him,and he sneered.

“What. The. Fuck. Ever.” He steppedforward,and I took a step back and hated myself for it. I wasn’t scared of the big man, I never had been.

“Don’t cop an attitude with me.I don’t have to stand here and put up with shit,” I snapped, turned toward the door, and that was as far as I got before huge hands grabbed my arms. There was no time for me to protest before I was spun around and facing Brax while he held me at arm’s length and looked down at me.

“No, you don’t, but you’re going to listen anyway. We’ve been friends since I was seven and you were five, living next door to each other. I got used to looking after you, thought of you as a little sister.” I went to jerk out of hishands,because that was just what every woman wanted to hear from a man, but Brax was having none of it. He pulled me into him until I had to bend my head back to look up at him. “Let me finish. Fuck, I don’t remember you being so damn prickly when we were growing up.”

“Fuck you, Brax. Let me go.” I refused to listen to anything morethatproved my feelings for him were stupid and those of a naïve young girl. I was far from that girl.

“Yeah, like I haven’t thought of that a few hundred times over the years. I can tell by your expression that shocks the hell out of you and has left you speechless. Let’s see if I can stun you a little more. Like I was saying, I thought of you as a little sister until you hit puberty, then that went out the window right fucking quick. I will thank you for the patience you taught me because every time I was around you, all I wanted to do was strip you down. Lun...Moon, itwas likeI went to bed one night and you were my pal, the next day you had curves and breasts, whichtoa sixteen-year-old boy is everything good in the world.”

I hadn’t thought I could laugh, but I did because Brax had closed his eyes and his face had looked pained. When he opened his eyes back up, they were filled with want anddesire for me. Mystomach tightened then and now with just the thought of him. I’d wondered briefly how the hell I had ever put the man out of my head for a minute over the years. He’d meant everything to me back then. Maybe too much.

“I wouldn’t risk our friendship because, Moon, I don’t think I could have lived with myself, but if I would have known that staying away from you was going to cost me years without yo—”

“Brax,” I whispered when he stopped before finishing the sentence.

“Sorry, I can’t say that because if Ihadgone after you, I wouldn’t have had BJ, my son. I would never wish him away, not evenfortime with you, Moon. Stormy and I had a rocky start, but I grew to love her, she was the mother of my child. I mourned the loss of them, but the hardest part for me was wondering if I didn’t love her enough and that’s why she and BJ were taken away from me. It took me a while to realize that was just stupidity on my part, and my brothers,” Brax pointed to the door in the direction of the men outside, “they helped more than I can ever repay. There is nothing I can say to change the fact Stormy and I...well, I’d been drinking with the guys and feeling a little sorry for myself because I was heading back out the next morning. Wishing you had graduated already so I could talk you into going back with me. I fucked up bad. I didn’t want Stormy then, I wanted you. After I left, I’d plan to finish BUD/S school and my basic parachute jumping course and come backforyou and tell you my feelings. That plan died when Stormy called me a month later and said she was pregnant. You were gone when I came back to marry her.” Brax stopped to take a deepbreath,and I laid my head on his chest.

“I’ve lost enough, team members, my parents, my son. I’m sorry too that you lost your mom. But when you stepped in front of me in the parking lot, the first thing I thought was there is my best friend, then I remembered you took off and why. It still didn’t keep me from getting pissed off.” Brax let go ofme,and I took a step back, then looked up at him.

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