Page 21 of Devil

“No, but—”

“James made his choice in that moment of weakness. He went back on his promise. That is on him, Lance, not you. I don’t blame you, I blame him. He decided then and there to give up on life, not you.” I let go of his face and laid my head on his chest. We sat quietly for a fewminutes,and I silently cried as I listened to his heart beat while I cursed my brother for not having enough courage or faith in his family to deal with hisinjuriesand help him through any troubled times he would have faced with them. Then, I put my focus back on the man in front of me and let the tears flow for James, for my family, and for Lance. The guilt he’d kept to himself all this time. Without lifting my head off his chest, I asked, “Is that part of why you didn’t come around when you came home from over there?”

When he didn’t answer right away, I wanted to raise my head to look athim,but a part of me was afraid for fear that he had moved on without me instead regretting what happened with James. Hemoved,and I felt his lips kiss the top of my head, then he moved away again.

“Yes, because I couldn’t face you and your family. I could barely look at myself in the mirror to shave. I knew the signs of my ownself-destruction,but I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to see hate or disgust in your eyes.”

“God, Lance, I wouldn’t have hated you. James didn’t die alone, he had a friend with him. A friend who was fighting for him when he wouldn’t even do it for himself.”

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed. “I have issueswiththe things I’ve seen and done. I take mymeds,and they help, but sometimes, well...even the pills don’t keep the stuff away. I hope you can accept me the way I am because, Bailey, I’ve never stopped loving you.”

My head snapped up. He was looking down atme,and the expression on his face was one of hope. “What?”

“I love you. I lost my way for awhile, and it has taken me some time to get back to you. You loved meonce,and I will do anything to earn it back if youletme. I know I hurt you. You were mine to love, to protect, and I let you down. I wish I could promise that I won’t ever hurt you again, but know if it happens, it is unintentional. Going forward, I will fight for you. You were the best part of me then—you are the best part of me now—I want you to be the best part of my future. I know after everything, I have no right to ask, but I am. Fight for me, Bailey. Fight with me—for us.”

To say I was speechless at that moment would have been an understatement. But it was more than that. Could I really put the past away as just that, the past, and move forward? His dark brown eyes stared back atme,and when I lookedintothem, I saw my past and my future. I didn’t think there had ever really been a choice since the day I met him. I think the obstacles life placed in our way was to test our bond. Right then, as I stared into his eyes, he’d always been the one. I’d measured every man I dated to him, it was probably why none of my relationships lasted. It was time to see how strong the bond was.

“The past can’t bechanged,and I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to keep that door closed.”

“Bullshit. You are one of the strongest people I know, Bay. Even in your weakest moment, I saw the strength behind the hurt and pain you wore, and even then, I couldn’t bring myself to help you through it. At the time, I didn’t have the capacity to deal with my own crap. Fuck, staying away from you didn’t help. Nothing Ididor tried to do would keep you from surfacing. I’m tired, Bay. I want you. I’ve always wanted you. My plan was to come at you full steam and give you no choice, but after everything—”

“Shut up, Lance,” I cut him off.

“You did not just tell me to shut up.” Lance’s eyebrows creased and his eyes squinted at me. That was the Lance I remembered.

“Well, you didn’t let me finish.” I pulled my fingers away from his mouth.

“Go ahead. This is your one chance to put a stop to my pursuit. We agree on one thing, the past needs to stay there. If you’re unable to move forward with me, then say it now.”

“You’ve no right to be all pissy because I didn’t drop to my knees at your proclamation of love. And for the record, I knew you stood under that tree. I sat on that swing and hoped that you would step out and come to me. I needed my friend then. But you didn’t, you chose to stay away from me. You chose to protect me for whatever misguided reason. I had no choice then because you made it for both of us. You say you’re tired. Well, guess what? So am I.

“I survived it all. And what a shocker that I did it without you. I moved forward one step at a time, but I did it on my own. I didn’t need you to protect me. I didn’t need you to live. What I needed then was for you to love me as much as I loved you. Everything else that came after that would have been a bonus.

“Now, what you didn’t let me finish before was I don’t think I want to close the door on the past. Yeah, there’s hurt there, even a feeling of betrayal, but to lock those away, I would have to lock away the good memories too. And I don’t want to forget the first time we held hands, or how I felt the first time we kissed. The nervousness I felt the first time we had sex. To keep those, it is worth the hurt and pain of the other stuff.”

“Aww, Bay.” I hadn’t felt the tears escape my eyes until Lance’s hands grabbed my face and his thumbswipedthem away.

“Those experiences were with a young boy. I think I would like to share them again with the man. I never stopped loving you, Lance.”

“Damn, Bay,” were the only words hesaidbefore his lips crashed down on mine. When he pushed his tongue into my mouth, the taste of him filled my senses, and he devoured me until I only held thoughts of him.

Chapter Nine

Devil

What it felt like when my lips touched Bailey’s, was indescribable. She was sweet, forgiving, loving, and I may never deserve the woman who straddled my lap, but I was going to take what she was offering.

I hadn’t expected Bailey to return my words so easily. Everything between us would probably be seen by others as moving too fast. To me—it was wayoverdue,and I was bastard enough not to care. A weight lifted off my shoulders andpeacethat I hadn’t felt in a long time settled through me. I would takeit,and I would take her.

My tongue took possession of her mouth, touching every crevice, familiarizing itself again with her. I’d taken her virginity, which gave me the title of her first, and I had no misconception that she hadn’t been with anyone since. But I damn well would be herlast,and she would be mine, making everything in between inconsequential. Bailey moaned into my mouth as I shifted us away from the tree enough to where we laid back on the blanket. My hands ran down hersides,and I cupped her ass and shifted her until she stretched the length of my body, then I rolled us.

Our lips brokeapart,and I started my journey down her body to refamiliarize myself with the woman who laid underneath me. I kissed from her mouth to her neck and took my time. Eager to learn the differences, but patient enough to take my time. I used my tongue and mouth until I reached her ear, then my teeth bit the lobe and licked the sting away. My cock was hard and ached as it felt the heat from her center pressed against it. With a slight rotation of my hips, I pressed down, the friction as I rubbed my jean-covered cock on her pussy had her pushing up, withering in search of what she needed.

I kissed, nibbled, and licked down her neck and chest until I hit the barrier of her top, stopping my descent. I pushed to my knees, and she grabbed for me.

“Lance, don’t stop,” was said breathlessly as she clasped my t-shirt in her hands.

“Too many clothes. I want to see all of you. Taste all of you.” I removed her hands from my t-shirt and began to remove hers. Sliding it up and over her head as she helped. I unclasped the bra and her large breasts easily exposed themselves to me.

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