Page 31 of Until the End

Gia scoffs. “You love when we scheme. It's the most fun you ever have.”

Michael rolls his eyes instead of engaging with her.

I tip my drink back only to find that it’s empty again. “Man, these are going down way too smoothly.”

“You want another one, Goose?” Carson asks, startling me when I realize he’s standing by my side. I didn’t even notice him move.

“Uh…” I hesitate.

“Yes, she wants another one,” Gia says. She’s always been the little devil on my shoulder, telling me to do naughty things. Carson snags my glass from my hand and heads into the kitchen to fill it up.

“I feel like I'm analyzing every interaction now,” Lottie whispers. “This is so exciting. How did this happen?”

Gia tells the story for me, and Lottie hangs on her every word. I interject when things get a little dramatic, but for themost part, Gia sticks to the truth. It reminds me that I still owe Carson a fashion show.

Nerves bounce around my body just thinking about it. I very rarely wear anything scandalous. Not even my touring costumes were all that risqué. But the idea of wearing those swimsuits in front of Carson makes my body overheat.

What's changed from a few years ago? I mean, I've always had a crush on Carson. I've always thought he was the best guy I knew, but I've never thought about him sexually.

Well, that’s not exactly true. But the one time I had dirty-Carson thoughts in high school, I couldn’t look him in the eye the next day. Maybe that’s why I didn’t have more. I couldn’t be around him if I thought about him like that.

I don't have a lot of experience. I've only slept with three guys. The first was a drunken one-night stand that I honestly did just to get it out of the way. I was hyping up the fact that I was a virgin in my head so much, it was annoying. So, I got drunk and took the first guy who piqued my interest home with me. That experience was lackluster, which wasn’t a surprise.

The second guy happened right before I got signed by Muse. He and I dated for a little while, and as soon as we had sex, he stopped talking to me. And then I met the Weasel. He was admittedly decent in bed. I came more often than not, but there was always a subtle hint of disrespect when I was with Wesley. I thought it was in my head, but looking back on all of the things that have happened, I know it wasn't.

Carson, on the other hand… I have no doubt he'll be an amazing lover. He's respectful, attentive, and singularly minded just on a daily basis. I can't imagine that those traits don't carry over into the bedroom.

“Okay, everyone. It's time to get a fresh drink and start playing Never Have I Ever,” Gia calls out.

“Oh, god, it's been so long since I've played this game,” I groan. I'm already past tipsy. Usually when we play this game, everybody likes to gang up on me because I have so little experience in everything.

And I end up drunk as a skunk.

Chapter 19

Carson

She’s utterly toasted.

The thought makes me smile. I haven’t seen Ginny let go like this in a long time. I’m actually not sure I’veeverseen her get this drunk. Her smile hasn’t faded, and her laugh’s only grown louder. It’s as if we’ve gotten the old Ginny back. The one before she became a famous singer and had to watch everything she said and did.

She’s become so reserved over the past six years. As much as I’d love to blame it on the Weasel, I can’t. When her first album skyrocketed up the charts, Ginny seemed to box up her personality and set it aside for the picture-perfect version of herself she’s presented for the past few years.

I don’t blame her. Every single thing she did was scrutinized by both the media and her fans. Headlines would say she’d been fighting with her bandmates if she wasn’t smiling after a show. They talked about her clothes and hair and anything else they could pick apart until nothing of the old Ginny was left.

I hated every second of watching her curl in on herself. It’s one of the reasons we never picked up on the abuse. She wasalready half of who she used to be. It pisses me off that I didn’t stand up for her. I thought this was what she wanted. Now, I’m not so sure. Seeing her bloom into the outgoing woman I remember makes me question everything.

How could I not notice Ginny withdrawing from us so drastically? Why didn’t I say something before?

I won’t let her become someone she isn’t again. She deserves to thrive, to have someone bolster her when she’s down and remind her how perfect she is when the whole world wants to tear her apart.

I can be that person. Iwantto be that person.

And right now, she needs me.

Because she’s about to fall off her stool.

“Easy there.” I grab her arm before she can tilt too far.

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