Iwant him to kiss me more than I want my next breath.
Why did I have to order food? “I’m not hungry anymore.”
The heated look Carson pierces me with would melt me in a second if he weren’t holding on to me already.
Carson catches the waitress as she walks by. “Can we get our food to go, please? And the check?”
She smirks at him but simply nods.
“Well, that’s embarrassing.” I shove my palms against my cheeks.
Carson just laughs at me. “I doubt this is the worst thing she’s witnessed before.”
I tilt my head in agreement. It’s been a long time since I went out like this. When Wesley and I first got together, we would hang out in clubs and bars all the time. When it became apparent he just wanted to be seen in public with me, going out lost its appeal. Tonight, I almost feel normal, like I’m not a celebrity everyone wants something from. A few people have come up to get pictures with me, but for the most part, we’ve been left alone. It’s strange, but I’m glad for it.
It only takes about ten minutes to get our food and pay, then Carson leads me toward the door. We’re almost there when I hear the dreaded phrase.
“Holy shit! That’s Virginia Miller!”
A murmur of surprise goes up around the man’s loud announcement. I turn to Carson with wide eyes. His face mirrors my panic, but then determination sets his shoulders. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me close as he barrels his way through the crowd. He’s a big guy, his wide shoulders carving an unforgiving path through the throng of people, and we make it to the door right as the first person reaches me.
“Virginia! Can I get a picture?”
Carson doesn’t give me a chance to turn around. He shoves us through the door and takes off for the car. Some of the crowd follows behind us, but Daren’s guys are there in a flash, keeping them back.
Daren’s holding open my car door, and the sound of it slamming closed once I’m inside is a balm to my anxiety. A second later, Carson is in the driver’s seat, and we’re taking off out of the parking lot.
“That was close.” My adrenaline is still pumping. I need a release for all the stored-up energy.
“I think the only reason we made it out is because they were all too drunk to move fast enough.”
I snort. “Probably. Not to mention, you were like a bulldozer in there.”
“I wasn’t afraid to piss some people off if it meant getting you out of there before we got mobbed.”
“It’s appreciated.”
“I’m sorry things ended like that.”
“Eh.” I shrug. “I’m used to it. I’m honestly surprised we made it as long as we did without being recognized.”
Carson hums in agreement. We ride in comfortable silence back to Sonoma. Westlake is only slightly bigger than ourhometown, and Carson has family who lives here, so we used to come hang out a lot when we were in school. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen Carson’s Ellis cousins. There are like a million of them.
As my thoughts wander, Carson reaches over to grab my hand, intertwining our fingers and resting our hands on my bare thigh.
How can an innocent touch send heat burning through me? Why is it that Carson makes my body feel things I’ve never felt before? Is it the connection between us? Our shared history?
Whatever it is, I’m starting to get addicted to it. Still, despite my desire, nerves are fluttering in my belly. I can’t decide if I want to jump Carson the second we walk in my door or if I want to take things slow. The thing is, I know he’ll follow my lead, no matter what I choose. It’s both exactly what I need and what I don’t want. I’m tired of overthinking everything I do. Sometimes I want the decision to be made for me so I’ll stop wondering if I’m making a mistake.
I hate living my life in fear. I’ve spent too much time double-checking every step I make. Wesley shook my confidence, and it’s time to build it back up. No one else can do it for me, as much as I might like them to.
And there’s one thing I know for sure I want for my life right now.
I want Carson.
I want to know what it’s like to be his in every way I can be.
We’re pulling into my driveway as the idea settles in my mind. Carson doesn’t drop my hand until he’s parking the car, and I slowly let him go. I don’t wait for him to open my door, my excitement making me too antsy to sit still.