Page 55 of Until the End

That doesn’t even include the ones who aren’t fans and only want to cause me harm. It’s scary out there, and having Daren and his team responsible for my safety alleviates that anxiety.

It takes us about ten minutes to get to the lookout. No one else is around tonight, which surprises me a bit. I was prepared to deal with people recognizing me like they usually do. Instead, Carson is able to spread out a blanket on the ground, and we work together to lay out the feast he put together.

“This looks amazing,” I gush.

“Glad you think so. I have ulterior motives, though.”

I tilt my head. “Like what?”

“I want to talk about us.”

“Oh…” My shoulders droop. I should’ve known this conversation was coming. He’s been too easygoing with everything.

“Hey.” Carson gently grips my chin, forcing me to make eye contact. “Stop those thoughts right now. I want to make sure we’re on the same page. If this is going to work, we have to communicate. I need to know what you’re thinking, and you need to feel confident in where we stand with each other.”

My worry evaporates. “You’re right. I’m sorry for thinking the worst.”

“Never apologize for what your brain has been trained to do. You spent so long doing your best to anticipate your abuser’s next move and how you could mitigate his response. That’s why I want to make sure we set the precedence fortalking to each other first, before things go off the rails because we didn’t communicate.”

I’m in love with him.

Holy crap. I’ve always loved him because he’s my best friend, but I’m trulyinlove with him. It’s too early and way too fast for that. I have no idea how I’m going to hide those feelings with Mr. Communicator over here, but I’m going to do my damnedest. I’m not ready to tell him yet.

I swallow down the confession. “Okay. Where do you want to start?”

“What happened today after that journalist accosted you? You retreated into your head and then lied when you said you were fine.”

I grimace. “You’re starting off strong. Well… It’s just that I was wondering how long you’d be okay with living like this. When will you get tired of being hounded by the press and decide you could live a stress-free life back in Sonoma?”

Carson opens his mouth and then shuts it again. He bites the inside of his lip as he decides how to respond. When he finally does, I’m shocked by his answer.

“I’ll get tired of the vultures when you do. You live like this every day. The least I can do is be by your side to help shoulder the burden. They’re going to drive me crazy, but not because they interrupt my life. What they do to you on a daily basis pisses me the fuck off. You don’t deserve to have your life broadcasted across the internet for people to make shit up about you. If I can help ease the stress of what they do to you, then I’ll be happy. That’s all I want—to make your life better. Without you, my life is a dreary place. I’ll take the vultures every day if it means I get to be with you for the rest of our lives.”

Emotion clogs my throat as the depth of Carson’s love for me is revealed. “I love you, Carson. I’minlove with you.”

So much for keeping my feelings a secret.

Carson’s smile is so full of love, I can’t help but smile back at him. “I’m in love with you, too, Goose. I’d do anything for you.”

I lean in and kiss him, the press of his mouth to mine sealing our words in stone. Our relationship will never be the same after this, but it’s only going to be for the better. I pull back so we don’t give Daren a show he didn’t sign up for.

“I want to live in Sonoma,” I blurt out.

Carson’s exhale is full of relief. “Thank god. I’d move here with you if I had to, but I really didn’t want to.”

“We’ll have to travel back and forth a lot,” I warn him.

“I’m well aware. I don’t mind visiting as often as we need to, but knowing our home base will be in Sonoma makes it much easier.”

“Okay. I think I like this communication thing. What else do we need to talk about?”

Carson snorts. “We need to find a more permanent place in LA.”

I grimace. “Right. Has Chelsea found us a new place to stay in the interim?”

“Yeah, looks like she found a house to rent since we’re going to be here for a while longer.” Carson pulls up the information from his texts with Chelsea to show me the listing. She found a cute little bungalow surrounded by greenery and flowers. It looks perfect for us. “She already got our stuff moved, too.”

“She’s on top of it. I don’t think I pay her enough.”

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