I reach for Carson’s hand, my stomach tying itself in knots. He squeezes my fingers and then moves behind me to wrap his arms around my shoulders. With his chest to my back and his forearms resting on my collarbones, a sense of calm washes over me. I love how easily he can read me and know what I need within seconds.
“When I first met Teddy, I thought he was a stand-up guy. He had the respect of my nephew, Noah, so he easily had mine. Then I found out the turd was dating my daughter, and suddenly, I didn’t like him so much anymore.”
We chuckle at that. Cooper has always struggled with Lottie dating. Teddy is the first and only guy he’s accepted without reservation, despite what he may say.
“That is, until I saw the way Lottie looked at him and he looked at her. It’s exactly the way my wife has looked at me for the past twenty-seven years, and I can’t begrudge a man the love of a woman like I’ve had the privilege of experiencing. Even if it is my daughter’s.”
“Be honest, Cooper,” Quinn calls out. “You’re pumped to finally have a guy in the family to even out all the estrogen you’re surrounded by.”
“Hush, you.” Cooper points at his wife and then winks.
As Cooper goes through the vows, I begin to relax intoCarson. I never would’ve thought someone else’s wedding would be a trigger. Of all people, Lottie and Teddy deserve this moment the most. They’ve worked hard to get to this point, and I should be happy for them. Iamhappy for them. At the same time, my brain is screaming at me to run away. It’s saying I’m not safe here.
Thankfully, Cooper wraps up the ceremony before I have a chance to follow through on my panicked brain’s demands.
“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride…but keep it PG, buddy.” Cooper makes a big show of slapping his hand over his eyes while Lottie and Teddy laugh. Teddy cups Lottie’s cheeks and tips her head back to plant the sweetest kiss on her lips. The amount of love this man has for my best friend brings me more joy than I could ever express, and I’m glad I didn’t succumb to the panic I’m still trying to tamp down.
We cheer them on, encouraging Teddy to kiss her harder. He suddenly lifts Lottie and spins her around before setting her back on her feet.
Lottie radiates happiness, her joy infectious as she turns toward our family. Quinn and Lottie’s sister, Caroline, are the first to hug the couple. Carson waits with me while the rest of our family takes their turn to hug them, and his embrace helps ground me in the moment.
I look up at the man I love most in the world, praying he understands what I’m saying without me needing to spell it out. “I don’t want to get married. Not any time soon, anyway.”
Carson palms my cheek. “We don’t ever have to get married. As long as I have you by my side, I couldn’t care less.”
God, this man. He’s everything I ever wanted, and I’m terrified I’ll lose him.
Yet, at every turn, he’s accepted me as I am. Throughout my entire life, Carson has always stood by my side as my bestfriend and confidant. He’s had every opportunity to leave, but he’s always chosen to stay. He’s been there for every single high and low.
How have I never realized he won’t ever leave me?
He’s been mine from the very beginning—all I have to do is accept it.
Chapter 40
Carson
“Hey, Carson, can you come help me with something?” Ginny calls down from her bedroom. She’s been up there for the last thirty minutes, and when I asked what she was doing, she was super cagey about the details.
I set my sketch pad on the side table and rise from the couch. With the extra time on my hands, I’ve started to draw more often. I’ve been tempted to dabble in other mediums besides pencil, but I haven’t done it yet.
I’m up the stairs in a matter of seconds, only to find Ginny’s bedroom empty. “Goose?”
“Don’t come in the closet; just sit on the bed and give me a second.”
Oookay.
I follow orders, leaning back on my hands while I wait for Ginny to come out. Ever since Lottie and Teddy’s wedding last week, something has settled between me and Ginny. There was an undercurrent of tension between us that I hadn’t noticed until it was gone. It’s not a surprise that marriage would be a trigger for her. Everything about the wedding she almost had was traumatic. Why would she want to go through that again?
What I hadn’t put together was her worry that the baby would make me want to get married immediately. I should’ve known. Most people get married when they realize they’re having a baby together.
I truly couldn’t care less if we ever get married. No piece of paper is going to tell me Ginny is mine. I’m the one who has to prove it, and there isn’t a single thing I wouldn’t do to remind her.
“I believe a fashion show was promised,” Ginny says as she saunters out of her closet.
I nearly choke on my spit as I take her in. “Holy shit.”
The navy blue swimsuit is mere scraps of fabric, showcasing almost every inch of her creamy skin.