Page 6 of Shameless Vows

But I digress. I am sitting here in the bridal chamber of an ancient cathedral in Corwick, looking like a porcelain doll, and feeling like I’m about to get snatched up and thrown to shatter against one of the cold, stone walls. And my siblings arelaughing.

“Oh!” Graciela suddenly exclaims, pointing at me, her giant canary diamond from her own arranged marriage glinting in the sunlight that pours in from one of the arched windows. “I know. This is what you do,princesa. When it’s time toseal the dealtonight, just think of that one time me and Lili caught you both in the boathouse. You seemed toreallybe having a good time right then… you know, before you noticed that we all found you.”

My younger brother, Joaquin howls with laughter so intense he nearly slides off the stiff-backed chair where he’s seated, sipping from a flask. A devious grin stretches Graciela’s pouty, red lips as she arches one black eyebrow at Liliana, our youngest sister, who’s standing in front of a mirror, adjusting her gown and cringing at the memory.

When Lili doesn’t give her the reaction she’s looking for, Graciela turns to Colin Flannery—our surrogate brother for all intents and purposes after Papá and Mamá took him in as a teen—and his fiancée, Elle, who’s holding their eight-month-old baby girl, Audrey. “They were being very loud and verynaughtyin the boathouse.”

Colin does a rapid double-blink of his blue eyes as if trying to shake a mental picture out of his mind. “Really good to know, Graciela. Thanks,” he says dryly, scooping Audrey out of Elle’s arms and then pressing a kiss to her mouth before crossing the room to a window so he can redirect the baby’s attention.

“De nada,” Graciela chirps, attention still fixed on Elle, who’s seated in another chair close to me because she’s theonlyperson in this room who seems to understand how shitty this situation is. I met Elle last year when Colin brought her to the engagement party andLa Pedidacelebration, and it was clear she saw this horrifying arrangement for exactly what it was. Elle is a down-to-earth, self-made woman from humble beginnings, and I would love nothing more than to call this whole damn thing off so I could move to Manhattan and hang out with her every weekend.

“Also,” Graciela goes on with emphasis, and I think she’s a little tipsy, “I can attest to the fact that the Duke of Corwick hasun muy buen culo, so you should honestly be grateful,hermana.”

Joaquin coughs and then actuallydoesslide out of his chair. “Dude.” He coughs again and sucks in a breath as he stands. “Shutup. Nobody in this room needs to hear about Mal’sculo. Goddamn.”

“Well,I’mthe one who had to see it, so all of you have to hear about it.” Graciela snickers wildly and pitches forward in her chair to address Elle specifically. “Actually, I know Papá saw it, too, andthat’swhy he nearly killed Malachi that day.” She cups the side of her mouth to whisper-yell. “She was underaged, and he was not.”

Elle’s sable-brown eyebrows flatten as she turns to me. “Really,” she deadpans. “How much older is he?”

I open my mouth to answer, but I don’t even remember this alleged day at the boathouse, and Graciela is too quick to speak up for me. “He’s only two and a half years older, but this was during that dicey period when he had just turned nineteen and she wasn’t seventeen yet, so it was technically illegal. And Papá pulled a shotgun on him.”

“Wow,” Elle mumbles, pursing her lips, and it’s clear the information doesn’t exactly encourage her to like Malachiorthe idea of this marriage.

Meanwhile, I still have no recollection of this alleged shotgun incident, and tilt my head incredulously, but also carefully so that the weighty, diamond-and-ruby-encrusted tiara doesn’t slide off. “Did thatreallyhappen?”

Graciela snorts, and Joaquin breaks into laughter again.

“JesusChrist, Isla.” Joaquin crosses the room to lightly tap the center of my forehead with his index finger. “You really need to get that head of yours checked one of these days. You are the most forgetful person I’ve ever met.” He spins on the balls of his feet, turning to Elle. “I swear to God, she’s probably forgotten about seventy-five percent of our childhood.” He gestures at me with the flask. “What do they call that? Selective memory?” He hitches a shoulder and slips one hand into the pocket of his black slacks. “She only remembers the good stuff, like Christmas mornings, or like when we used to visit Corwick to see Mal and his fam, or like when Papá bought her a pony once. She doesn’t remember any of the times Papá broke out the belt or when the Californiaprimosshowed up unexpectedly and Papá lost his shit.”

I press my lips together to smooth my lipstick and stroke the antique lace bodice of my gown, which feels like a too-small cage. “So? What’s wrong with focusing onhappymemories?”

“Uhhh…” he arches one dark brow at me. “Because you’re not justfocusingon them, you literally don’t remember anything bad that happened, and that seems like something’s wrong with your brain.”

“Well,actually,” Elle speaks up, crossing her legs under her long, sapphire skirt, “sometimes forgetting things you don’t like, especially as a child, is a very common coping mechanism. It’s your mind’s way of protecting you from unpleasant experiences that might keep you from being functional later in life.”

“Yeah,” Colin interjects from the window, “and Elle got her degree in psychology from friggin’Columbia, so she knows a lot about this stuff.”

I cock an eyebrow at Joaquin. “See? Nothing’s wrong with me.”

At least,that’snot what’s wrong with me. There’s alotwrong with me, and it can all be traced to that horrifying time period when I realized Malachi was gone forever.

Forever… until he showed up later as a sinister clone of the man he used to be and trapped me in a lifelong arrangement during which I know he’s going to make me suffer, and I’m going to make him suffer right back.

“Okay,allof you are missing the point I was trying to make with that story,” Graciela cuts in, standing up and smoothing her palms down the front of her ruby red bridesmaid gown. “The point is,princesa,that we all know you both fell out of love a long time ago, and when it’s time to do the deed tonight, you need to try to remember a time when you likeddoing itwith him.”

My jaw gapes as I attempt to pull words together, but Elle pitches toward me to clasp my lace-covered forearm. “Listen to me, Isla.” Her elegant brows are high on her forehead. “You donothave to have sex with him. If heforces you, it’srape. If he coerces you into sayingyesbut you don’t want to, it’sstill rape.Even though you’ll be married. And you can go to the police. He’s not exempt from the law. I already checked for you.”

The severity of her words renders the room to a thick, uncomfortable silence, and my heart palpitates.

Once upon a time, Malachi had promised to keep me safe from anything and everything in this world. And now he’s the single greatest threat in my life.

I swallow thickly and stare at my hands. The twenty-five-carat, heirloom diamond glints back at me, almost like it’s as smug and haughty as Malachi’s been for all fifteen months of our engagement. The emerald-cut stone is as absurd as the arrangement, clocking in as bigger, flashier, and more expensive than those of Jennifer Lopez, Kim Kardashian, and Beyoncé. Also just like this marriage, it’s clearly mostly for show. All superficial beauty and no substance.

“I don’t think he’d go that far,” I say quietly.

I mean, Ihopehe wouldn’t go that far. If I’ve learned anything about the new Malachi, it’s that he really fucking hates me now. But he’s never been violent. He’dneverdo something like that to anyone. At least,beforehe wouldn’t. I have no idea who he is anymore, so there’s honestly no telling.

Joaquin scoffs. “Yeah, hewon’t. At least… he’d better fuckingnot,” he retorts through a far less jovial voice than he typically uses, reminding me that, despite being a year younger than me, he’s still a twenty-eight-year-old man, a tall column of large, stone-cut muscles with that same gritty Mexican blood that we all have running through his veins, and that he would kill a man that hurt any of his sisters if it came to that.

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