Page 97 of Shameless Vows

I’m not going to find her in this shapeless, white room.

“Malachi.”She giggles again, but her giggles are starting to morph into hitches of quiet weeping.“Just hang on, cariño. Try to look at me.”

“Islaaa…” I force myself to sing-song her name in an effort to continue the carefree game of hide-and-seek. “Where is little Isla? I can’t find her.”

“I’m here, Malachi. Try to find me. Try to look at me. Just hang on, cariño.”

“Little Isla… where is little Isla? I can’t find her.”

“Malachi. Malachi. Malachi.”

“I’m still searching. Where is she? Where is that little Isla? She is way too good at hiding for me to find.”

Another pang slams my chest, and my steps falter.

“Just hang on, Malachi. Don’t close your eyes. Try to look at me.”

“I can’t see her. Where, oh where, is little Isla?”

“Please look at me, Malachi. I’m right here. Can you hear me?”

The searing pain of anguish slices deeper because Icanhear her, but I know I’ll never see her again.

“Little Isla? Little Isla? Where are yooo-uuu?”

There’s a sensation on my face as though she’s touching it, but there’s still nothing in sight. “I’m right here, amor. Can you look at me? Open your eyes, cariño.”

The game suddenly registers as pointless, and the anguish swallows me. “I can’t.”

“You can. Just try.”

“I’m sorry, Isla.”

“Just try, cariño.”

So, I do.

And as I do, the pure, blinding, shapeless white palpitates, flickers, and then goes black. Inky blackness stretches for what feels like eternity, and a chill seeps into my chest, then spreads throughout my extremities. I shiver violently, my teeth rattling against each other, and my chest feels so tight that it seems to crush my heart and lungs.

The black morphs to a strange, deep crimson, and the pain escalates to crazed levels, and I attempt to soothe it by rubbing my chest, and I feel the distinctive sensation of another hand.

“Fuck… me…”I mumble.

“I know.” Her voice again. “I know it really hurts, but just hang on. Try to look at me, Malachi.”

Now it’s all just confusing. I’m no longer in the shapeless white room, but I feel like I’m floating while simultaneously being weighed down by veritabletonsof pressure.

“Can you try to open your eyes,cariño?”

I do try again, but this time, rather than blackness, it ushers in that same blinding whiteness, and now it sears my pupils through tiny slits in my eyelids like I’m staring straight into the core of the sun.

“Fuu-uuck…” I groan again, squeezing my eyes shut before attempting to peel them open again.

“Pobrecito. I know it all feels shitty, but you’re doingso good.” I feel the sensation of her touching my face again, and this time I reach for it. My fingers close around her palm, and I don’t really want to get my hopes up, butI think she’s really there.

And that’s enough motivation to brave the searing light and peel my eyes all the way open.

And there she is. Leaning over my face, crowned with a halo of all those blinding-as-fuck lights behind her, looking pretty damn exhausted with dark circles under her eyes and her hair pulled back in a messy, drooping ponytail, but more beautiful than ever, becauseholy fucking fuck.

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