Page 104 of If This is Love

His hand strayed from my hair and met his other at my back, his fingers hooking under the hem of my shirt, pulling it up, and I sat up just enough for him to pull it over my head. He curled his arm around my waist, hugging my body to his as he rolled me onto my back. His lips strayed from mine, making their descent down the column of my neck and stoking the flames of heat and longing, intensifying the ache between my thighs.

“Baby.” I didn’t care anymore if I shouldn’t be saying that. Didn’t care that I’d spilled the secret I’d been keeping from him for a little while. Didn’t care about anything but his warm, wonderful skin against mine.

One of Gabe’s hands covered my breast, circling my nipple through my bra while he slipped down a strap and then slid his free hand under my back to deftly unfasten the clasp. I hastily contorted my shoulders, shimmying it off, and he slipped it away, ducking his head immediately to suck my other breast into his mouth. I whimpered, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him close to me, and I hooked my ankle around his calf to pull him just as close.

“I promise,” I blurted out, my whispered words nonsensical, “I promise it wasn’t you on Saturday. I promise it’s okay. I do love you, Gabe, and it’s all okay.” I clasped his face between my palms, urging him to meet my eyes and spoke up with boldness that came out of nowhere. “I wouldn’t be with you like this if I didn’t love you and didn’t want to be here.”

His eyes were the sweetest thing I’d ever seen. Their beautiful, deep crystalline silver had returned, and they were clearer and lighter than ever before. A little crinkle formed between his brows, and it was like he split his soul open and showed me everything he truly was. Brave. Strong. Humble. Steadfast. Loyal.

Gabe open his mouth like he was searching for words and closed it. Instead of speaking, he curled his arm around my head, his fingers stroking my hair while his other hand slid down my waist to stroke the side of my hip, catching the waistband of my jeans like he was ready to pull them off. “I’m no good with words, Ruth.”

I smiled, releasing his cheeks so I could unfasten my jeans and shimmy them down, and I pushed my sneakers off with my toes. “You don’t need words. I know.”

He pushed away from me only long enough to slip my jeans all the way off and push my shoes out of the way. “I still want to tell you.” He shifted forward again, his knees now separating my thighs, the hot bulge in his gray sweatpants pressing against the center of my panties. “The day my ex-wife left, Luke told me to make a list of everything I could possibly want in a woman, and I did.” He canted his hips forward, pressing my spot firmly and lowering his lips to my ear. “And you are her.”

Warmth and heartache unfurled in my chest while chill scattered my arms, just like moments of really intense prayer or worship I’d felt in the past. I’d felt it the first time I’d been with Michael like this, and I cried because it was the closest thing I’d felt to the all-encompassing love of God.

My eye rims burned a little. “You mean that?”

“I do.” Gabe kissed the spot below my earlobe, his lips lingering and stroking while his hand skated down the side of my waist. He lifted his head just enough to look me in the eyes. “I love you, too, Ruth. I really do. I love you in a way that feels like all the times I’ve loved before, it was all practice for being able to love you the way you deserve.”

He lowered his lips to mine and pressed a long, deep kiss to them. I welcomed his tongue and pulled him close to me with my ankles locked together, and he slid his hand down the back of my thigh, his fingers slipping under my panties.

A bolt of pure pleasure shot through me, and I whimpered against his mouth. “Baby, you love me so good.” I squeezed my arms around his shoulders, and he nudged my leg open so he could stroke me with two fingers. “You’re making meachefor you.” I released one arm to tug down the waistband of his pants, bringing his boxer briefs with them. “This is what I really wanted on Saturday, but I was just so nervous. I just want you. I want you to make love to me.”

On some level, my words were mortifying to me, and I had no idea why, but it didn’t matter anyway. I was going blind from lust and love and excitement and the thrilling feeling of being in love again and having that feeling reciprocated. And I just needed all of him.

Gabe didn’t respond with words because that wasn’t the way he loved. This was a man who loved by serving. He loved by showing up and doing exactly what was asked of him and then went above and beyond the call of duty. And when I told him what I wanted, he didn’t hesitate to make it happen.

He took over with removing his clothes and paused to pull open the nightstand drawer and grab something. A condom. He was grabbing a condom because we were about to have sex.

You mean fornicate out of wedlock.

Shut up, I love him. It’s makinglove.

Fornicator.

Shameless hussy.

This worldliness is exactly why your husband is cold in the ground, and it’s going to cost you this man, too.

I blinked, and Gabe was suddenly braced on top of me again, kissing my neck, his hands all over my body. I completely missed the last couple of seconds, but I just didn’t care because he was squeezing my breast and stroking his hot, hard male muscle up and down my slick entrance.

“Oh please, baby,” I moaned, rocking my hips against his sheathed erection. “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted this.”

He pressed just the tip against my slit and angled his face over mine. “Trust me, Ruth. I have a very good idea.”

With a slow, forceful thrust of his hips, Gabe was buried to the hilt deep inside me, and my nipples hardened to stone-like peaks, a moan draining from my lips. “Ohhoney, I needallof this.”

He thrusted again, reaching even deeper depths than any time I’d done this before. “I want to give youeverything.” He groaned quietly, his head dropping forward to meet my forehead. “Mygod, you are everything. I love you.”

He murmured and graveled more quiet words, his lips brushing mine, the soft scruff of his beard dragging across the line of my jaw. I held him as close to me as possible in every way, squeezing my core tightly around him while he hit my spotso perfectly,over and over and over again.

I rocked against him, our bodies perfectly in sync, like we were made for each other. Like it was possible to have been made for the man I tragically lostandthe new one who had made places in my heart come alive after they’d been dull and painful for years. It felt miraculous. Like those perfect sunsets. Like that strange magnetism I felt when he scooped me up on the sidewalk that first day. The feeling that reminded me of the day I married Michael. The feeling that, in retrospect, made so much sense.

“Are you okay?” Gabe rasped shaking me out of my thoughts when I hadn’t realized I’d been lost in them.

“Yes,” I murmured, unable to tell if my eyes were open or not. Pleasure zinged through me, crackling with the excitement of lust and love mingling into a head-spinning fog. “Ohyes. Baby, mygod, yes. Don’t ever stop.”

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