Page 30 of If This is Love

“Yeah,” I said after another pause. “That’d be really nice, too.” I paused again, and something about this frustrating yet completely basic phone call felt intimate as all hell. I cleared my throat. “So, we’ll be there in a few.” I ended the call, and then immediately smacked my palm against my forehead. “Son of a bitch.”

Was I supposed to call her back just so I could say goodbye properly?

I dropped my head backward and groaned, then hastily punched out a text message.

sorry, didn’t mean to hang up on you. See you in a sec.

I left my phone at home on purpose. Phones seemed to be an endless source of noise and awkward miscommunication, and I didn’t like them anyway. And besides, Gunner and I were on our way to see the only person I was interested in talking to lately.

* * *

Ruth was waitingon her front porch, sitting on the top step in black leggings, a black hoodie, and a white ankle brace tucked snuggly into one of her sneakers. She flashed me a big, bright smile, reaching one arm high to wave at me.

I huffed listlessly as I turned onto her walkway and waved and tried not to let on that I’d imagined a scenario just like this before with my imaginary carbon copy of her. Sometimes it was the wholesome shit that could turn you on. Because sometimes all you wanted was to come home from a day of back-breaking labor to see your wife sitting on the front porch, smiling and looking at you likethat. Because that would make it all worth it. Because it wasn’t foryou; it had always been forher.

But never-fucking-mind.

“Morning, neighbor,” I called when I was about halfway up her walkway. “Sorry about the phone call.”

Ruth continued to smile brightly at me, reaching for a lidded coffee tumbler as steam curled out from the small opening into the chilly air. “I thought we weren’t apologizing,” she said in a friendly teasing tone as she held out the coffee to me. “Also, that was my fault.”

“Thanks,” I said, taking the coffee from her and lowering myself in front of the steps to look more closely at her new ankle brace. “Feels all right?”

“Yeah.” She slowly pointed and then flexed her foot. “It’s kind of sore, but he said I’ve done a good job keeping the inflammation under control.” She met my eyes, still smiling. “Because you wrapped it so well for me.”

“Maybe a little,” I acquiesced, standing up straight again. “Mostly good that you’ve stayed off it.” I raised one eyebrow, hoping to God what I was about to say wouldn’t come out all wrong. “So if you try to push yourself during this walk, it’ll be an immediate piggy-back back home. Got it?”

Her grin stretched all the way across her face, and she gave me a sloppy but completely adorable salute. “Yes,sir, Sergeant Martinelli.”

I couldn’t help smirking. She was a deadly combination of adorable and smoking hot, and I was setting myself up for torture and heartache, but… y’know, never-fucking-mind. “It’s Staff Sergeant.” I held out my free hand to help her stand. “Shall we, Mrs. Washburn?”

She set her hand in mine, and I gripped it gently as she eased onto her feet. “Yes, weshall.” When she was standing up straight, she cut a coy side glance at me. “StaffSergeant.”

A rare but quiet chuckle burst out of me, and I looked at my feet while she called Jax off the porch.

Damn. I couldn’t even remember the last time I laughed out loud like that. At least not at anything that wasn’t straight-up toilet humor from Luke or Connor. I’d willingly socialized more in the past few days than I had inyears—it wasalwaysLuke nagging me to go anywhere so I wouldn’t go full hermit—andI managed to show my face again after having an episode right in front of her yesterday. Although, it was a relatively mild one as far as I could tell. Like the sound of the mug shattering had just knocked me out of my sense for a second.

And lest I forget the only reason she dropped the mug in the first place was because she was staring at my cock. She was visibly impressed, too. My worthless sperm donor had at the very least given Luke and Ithat. The Martinelli Gift, as I called it back when I was a regular guy who cut up in the locker room with my buddies.

Anyway, it was hard to feel like any kind of shit at all after something like that. But it did remind me that no matter how flirty Ruth was being with me, it just wasn’t a good idea. She still hadn’t seen my really ugly side yet.

“Okay, Jax baby,” Ruth said, standing next to me and holding Jax on her opposite side. “You ready?”

Jax sprang forward, and I grabbed the leash just in front of Ruth’s hand to keep him from jerking her arm and potentially re-injuring her ankle. “Jax.Heel.”

Jax immediately moved to my heel, which put him right in between us.

Ruth snickered as we slowly started walking. “You certainly have a good way with dogs.”

“I’ve had one a while,” I said, keeping an eye glued to Jax while I released the leash. Gunner moseyed along on my opposite side. “You’re doing just fine with him. He’s a good boy. He’s just smart enough to try to get away with stuff. Don’t be afraid to be mean to him.”

She laughed, turning her head to glance at me. “I didn’t think that was mean.” She looked back at the sidewalk in front of us. “I don’t think you have a mean bone in your body.”

I turned my face forward and sipped my coffee instead of responding.

She just didn’t knowyetthat I had all kinds of mean bones in my body.

It was still early enough that the neighborhood was quiet and mostly deserted. The air was damp and chilly, but not too cold, and we walked in silence for a little while, sipping on the coffee. We passed Connor and Liza’s house, then Scott and Ophelia’s, and the lack of conversation didn’t even feel awkward. It was comfortable and easy; a nice, serene stroll that I probably could’ve continued for the whole damn day and into the next one.

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