Page 32 of If This is Love

“I mean, you understand what it… you know… I guess, means,” she concluded and then immediately brought her coffee to her lips.

Oh Jesus, she wasnervous.

Yes, I still knew how to read women. It wasn’t that hard to read body language, and she’d been giving me all sorts of signs in the time we’d been getting together like this. Which,again, would’ve been great if I weren’t half a fucking man.

Time to get this conversation back on track.

“So, how’d you get into this line of work?” I asked.

“Oh.” I loved that little noise more every time I heard it. “Well, I went through a really hard time after I lost Michael. I lost a lot of relationships and support from the fallout.” She gave a weighted pause. “And after some time, I was in need of a home and had no place to go but a local women’s shelter in Lafayette. The irony was that he and I had dreamed about and planned our own outreach to women and young girls because of my experience in foster care. So I chose to go there when I was in need of a home because I wanted to work for them and learn what they were doing so I could keep fighting for the dream he and I had. I still want to carry that torch because it means the dream didn’t die with him. And that’s exactly what I did. They gave me a simple job, just cooking meals and general housekeeping, and I worked my way up, learning all the different things that running an outreach like that takes. I loved it. And I wasn’t ever going to leave that wonderful group of ladies, but when I encountered Skye, I just couldn’t say no.”

Ruth turned to look at me with those jewel-like amber eyes, and it was like she gave me a quick glimpse of her soul—and that was beautiful, too. “Because me and Michael’srealdream was to do exactly what she’s doing. Because she’s only doing it at all because a good man chose to love her and believe her and pulled her out of the pit of despair. Just like Michael did for me. Our dream will get to take flight with their dream.” She turned her face forward again. “So, I guess I got into it because I was already in it. I’m the person I’m trying to serve.”

All I could do was keep staring at her. There was a twisting, gnawing sensation in my heart that I’d never felt before. I had an idea what it was, but for now I was just going to pretend it was basic respect for a remarkable person.

“Ruth, I gotta say,” I said, turning to look ahead. “I’ve only known you a few days and I think I’ve already got more respect for you than at least half the guys I served with during my whole time in the Corps.”

She made a playful little clicking noise with her tongue as she smiled at me. “I think you’re being extremely generous saying that, but I do appreciate it.”

“Well, I mean it,” I said matter-of-factly, not looking at her because I was merely stating facts and trying to ignore the nagging ache in my heart. “Not everybody can turn terrible circumstances like that into something good, and even fewer people can turn it into something that does good for others. I respect the hell out of Skye, and I respect the hell out of you for the same reasons.”

“Well…I,” she started to say shyly, andJesus,this walk felt intimate as all hell all of a sudden. “I appreciate that.” She paused then added hesitantly, “The respect is very mutual.”

Very mutual.

For some reason, that sounded sexual as fuck.

God, I was so into this woman, and I had no fucking cluewhat to do with that or myself.

So, I just didn’t do anything at all and kept walking.

We fell into another long comfortable silence, and I focused on her pace and cadence to make sure she was going easy on her ankle, but my mind was picking through everything she’d just said about her life.

She was “in need of a home” after her husband died? What did that mean? It couldn’t mean anything good. She also “lost relationships”. That could’ve just been a result of her husband’s family moving on without her after he passed. But something about all of it gave me a nervous feeling. Like Ruth had secrets deep and dark enough that the less shocking ones were being orphaned, her husband died tragically young, and she lost her home. She was a mystery; one that was a little foreboding, but one I wanted to unravel anyway.

Not that I ever could or would, but never fucking mindthat.

The sound of gravel crunching under rapid footsteps drifted from behind us, getting louder as it approached, and I glanced behind me.

Liza waved at me while pushing the jogging stroller while Connor jogged behind her. “Hey, y’all! Fancy seeing you guys out here this morning.”

Yeah, Liza, it wassofancy. Fancy enough that everyone was going to be whispering about it for God knew how long.

Ruth and I paused and turned, and she sucked in an excited gasp, waving back immediately. “Hi, Liza! Hey, Connor.” She clasped Jax’s leash against her coffee cup, holding both to her chest. “Oh my heavens, is this your little girl?”

Liza and Connor eased to a stop next to us, and Liza gave Ruth a quick side hug. “It is.” Liza laughed and then spoke a little quieter as the both bent down to peek under the stroller’s umbrella-like hood. “She’s just snoozing away. She gets up really early, so by the time we get out for our morning run, she decides it’s her morning nap time.”

“Aww…bless her sweet little heart,” Ruth cooed softly while they both continued to peer at her under the hood.

“Hey, Gabe,” Connor said, jerking his chin at me and throwing his fist toward me so I could bump it with mine. “How’s it going?”

“Going,” I said simply, crossing my arms over my chest.

He nodded expectantly, his eyes darting to Ruth, then back to me, then back to her, then to Jax, then to Gunner, then to Ruth, and finally back to me. “Having a good morning?”

His eyes were practically twinkling with mischief, and I ignored it. “Yep.”

Connor did that back and forth glance between Ruth and me three more times, and then a total shit-eating grin broke across his face. “It looks like it.” He threw his hand forward again and slapped the side of my shoulder. “Good to hear.”

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