Page 40 of If This is Love

“Your secret’s safe with me, Ruth.”

Mylord,I loved the way my name sounded when he said it, and it felt like I was leaning into that feeling of it being the end of adate,even though itwasn’tone, andJesus, take the wheel!

“Oh yeah,” I hastily said, stepping away like I just remembered something. “I was thinking…” I reached the doorway to the living room and turned around. “I don’t think I should bring Jax. I think it might be a bit much for him yet.”

Gabe stood up straight, but his brow pulled low. “You think? It might be good to get him accustomed to being around people.”

I actually hadn’t thought about any of this at all. It was just the first thing that came to mind to save me from kissing him—which was something I absolutely couldn’t do because…

Sister, if you can’t break yourself of this Jezebel spirit, it’ll ruin your life and every life you touch. It already cost you your husband.

Because…

Pastor, respectfully, that’s just not true. It was a car accident, and you’ve all been treating me like I’m—

Because…

This is exactly what we have all been trying to make youseeabout yourself. You are infected with a generational curse and a spirit of lasciviousness, and he wouldn’t even have been driving where he was if you hadn’t infected him with it, too.

Because we were connected professionally. Yes. That was why I absolutelycould notact on all of these completely inappropriate urges. Also, it seemed disrespectful to Michael. And justwrong. I didn’t know why it felt so wrong, but something deep inside me did an uncomfortable turn every time I got all hot between the legs from justlookingat him.

I blinked, shaking myself out of my mind. “What was that?”

A hint of a smile played on one corner of his mouth. “You should bring him so he gets used to being around big groups of people. The excitement wears off if he does it all the time.”

“Oh.” I swallowed. My mouth was so dry all of a sudden. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“And I’ll tell you what,” Gabe went on, his pewter eyes full of focus like he was about to tell me about a mission we were assigned to. “Go ahead and leash him, but we’re going to let it hang, and he’s going to practice heeling the whole way there.”

“Ohboy,” I said, turning to peer at Jax where he and Gunner were curled up on the rug next to each other. “Jax, do you want to go see our new friends with Gunner and Gabe?”

Jax shot up to sit, his tail rapidly thumping the rug. Gunner stretched his long legs before standing up and moseying to Gabe’s side.

“Oh-kay,” I said, crossing the room to grab his leash of the coat rack. “Come here and get your leash.”

He scampered over, and I clipped on his leash and then stood up straight and waited for instructions.

“Gunner,” Gabe said, “go to Ruth andstay.”

Gunner’s ears perked forward for a second before he obediently stood and walked to stand next to me.

“Jax,” Gabe said.

Jax perked his ears forward.

“Heel,” Gabe clipped while smacking his heel on the hardwood floor.

Jax immediately darted to his side.

Gabe shifted the dish to one hand and opened the door. “Jax,stay.” He nodded at me. “Go ahead. Gunner, stay with Ruth.”

I scampered out the door, and Gunner followed at my heel. At the bottom of the steps, I glanced back at Gabe.

“Y’all just keep walking,” he said, nodding at me while Jax stood at his side, gazing up at him, and then they started forward. “Jax,heel.”

I turned forward, smiling absently at the sound of him repeatedly telling Jax to heel and clicking his tongue at him, and Gunner and I leisurely walked together. And it was nice.

It all felt so nice that it was giving me that same uncomfortable feeling in my stomach.

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