Page 88 of If This is Love

Every pleasure spot on my body was buzzing with electricity, and I could barely hear my own voice as my head spun faster and faster, “Baby, yes. Baby, please.”

It was chaos and supplication and lust spliced with the feelings I could only bring myself to callendearmentbecause it all felt so fast. But more than that, it all felt soright.

And more than a littlenaughty…

And then… it came.

That is…Idid.

My climax ripped from my throat in a yelp I strangled down to a tiny mewl with my face buried in Gabe’s neck. His hand cupped tenderly around my head while he held his hips firmly in place against mine, his other hand dragging up and down my waist, intermittently detouring to my breast to lavish it with slow, languid affection.

“Beautiful,” he was murmuring, kisses pressing here and there, his hand still loving my body with long, intentional caresses. “I’ve never seen anything as beautiful as you right now.”

I was coming down from the high so fast that I could’ve fallen asleep right here on his kitchen table, but then I remembered that I waslying on his kitchen table, half-naked with my legs wrapped around him.

My eyes bugged as instinctual panic clamped around my heart so violently that it palpitated.

Just like old habits, lifelong conditioning died hard.

I knew I wasthisclose to dissolving into an adrenaline-riddled, shaking state, so I immediately threw myself into Gabe’s presence and scent. It all really did feel better when he was close. And right now, he was as close to me as he could get with all of his clothes on and most of mine. I hugged his neck tightly, my heart racing and my breath coming in quick puffs of air along with lingering mewls and moans I couldn’t quite hold in.

I was on his kitchen table. Half-naked. With my legs wrapped around him. And I just had anorgasm. I kept my tight hug around his neck while I stared at the white, textured ceiling.

I must’ve been really tired. My head felt foggy.

“What in the name of the good Lord is going on in here?”Pastor John’s voice boomed in my ears, sending a body-shaking jolt through me, and my heart leaped into my throat.

That wasn’t real. That was in my mind. That man was nothere.

“Ruth… honey… Ruth, baby, can you hear me?” Gabe was murmuring, his voice a little garbled. “Ruth, try to look at me, sweetheart.”

“I am.” My words came out sounding like a question, and that’s when I noticed I couldn’t really see Gabe past the floaters in my vision. It’s also when I felt the trembling. My whole body was shaking, and I hadn’t even noticed when it started.

Was he really that comforting, or did I just slip out of my mind for a second?

“Talk to me, Ruth,” he was saying between long, firm rubs with his palm up and down the side of my arm. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” I said automatically, blinking a few times to clear my vision and then forcing a little laugh. “I just feel kind of…” I laughed nervously and canted my chin up to kiss his jaw. “I don’t even know, but it feels like I just had a really strong coffee.” I laughed again, nuzzling his neck. Did that soundsexual?This was a sexual situation, so it probably did andshouldhavesounded sexual. I just still couldn’t quite think straight.

“Like jittery?” His hands were sweeping up and down the sides of my body. “You feel like you’re shaking.”

OhLord, Iwasshaking.

“Well, that’s just…” I forced another small laugh, cupping his cheek and stroking my thumb back and forth across his soft whiskers. “A job well done on your part, I’d say.”

His eyes finally came fully into focus, anxiety a gray storm in them for a beat or two before they sparkled with heated mirth. “It was apleasure,” he said, emphasizing the word like he was driving home all kinds of points before he dipped his face to kiss me like he was underscoring them.

Gabe kissed me with languid passion while he fixed my dress, covering all of my modesty again and slipping his hand under my shoulders to lift me up. “You sure you’re okay?” he asked, sounding apprehensive, andoh no…

I had to get control of myself so I didn’t make him feel like he’d done something wrong. What we’d just done was way more than what had gotten me all tied up in knots before, and I could already see him worrying about that.

“Of course.” I smiled at him, and I could feel how lidded my eyes were. Like I was tipsy from alcohol or drowsy from strong cold medicine. “I guess I just…” I couldn’t fully open my eyes, so I played it off like I was being seductive. “I feel sofabulousright now that it’s a little like I’m floating.”

Gabe smiled softly as I cupped his bearded cheeks with my palms. “Floating, huh?”

“Yeah.” I tipped my face forward to press a kiss to his lips, and he clasped my shoulders, squeezing them gently but with gusto. He deepened the kiss, causing my head to tilt backward, and then he feathered light kisses down the column of my neck. “Floating is exactly how I feel.”

He pulled his face back just enough to claim one last lingering kiss from my lips. “I’m glad that’s how you feel.”

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