Page 93 of If This is Love

“I… Gabe, I don’t think I can go back out and do all that extra partying.” Her light laugh drifted over the line, but something else was on the edge of her tone like she was trying to mask it. Her laugh didn’t sound right, and I started to panic. “It’s already so late…”

I marched across the kitchen and out the back door, closing it behind me. “I understand that, I don’t really feel like going back out either, butRuth…” I paused as nerves turned my stomach. “Is something else going on? Are you feeling…” I swallowed hard because this didn’t seem like she was justtired. This was like something was really wrong, and I had a sinking feeling she was regretting what just happened in my kitchen. “Bad? Did I make you feel bad?”

“No,” she murmured in her smooth, velvety voice. “No, sweetie, it’s not that at all. I promise. That’s what I was afraid you were going to think and why I feel just awful for this. I’m just such an old lady, you know…”

“Well, Ruth, but…” Something still feltwrong. “Are you okay? You don’t sound quite like yourself.”

“I’m…” She pausedagain, and Ruth almost never had long pauses like this, like she was trying to figure out how to phrase something just right. She normally just said exactly what she was thinking, even if it was just to say she wasn’t sure what to say or how to say it. “I think I’m just not feeling so good—”

“Did something happen after you left?” I practically demanded, nearly cutting her off, butfuck. Something waswrong,and I wasn’t going to know unless she felt like telling me, and it was sounding like she didn’t feel like telling me anything.

Another long pause.

“Ruth. Talk to me, honey.”

“I think I just… scared myself.” She was crying now. Not big sobs or anything. Just a little pinch in her voice. “I pulled into my driveway, and my eyes played a trick on me, and I freaked out for a minute. And I think I just wore myself out.” She sniffled and spoke through a squeak. “This was such a perfect night, and I want it to stay perfect, and I think I’m too worn out to have any more fun. I think I’d just be grumpy.”

She shouldn’t be this upset from just her eyes playing tricks on her, and there wasn’t anything that was going to keep me from going to check on her. I jerked the back door open, marching through the kitchen, grabbing my keys off the counter, and stepping past the living room without even waiting for Gunner. “I’m coming over.”

“You don’t need to do that, Gabe.”

“Hey, where you going, bruh?” Luke hollered behind me.

Gunner scampered through the front door just as I was pulling it shut. “I can’tnotcome check on you. It’s basically around the block. I’ll be right there.”

She uttered a shaky exhale. “Okay. Okay, that would actually make me feel better. But I really think I should just go to bed.”

“Just sit tight.”

“I am.”

We stayed on the line but in silence the whole drive over there. I pulled up to the curb in front of her house, and she was sitting with Jax on the porch with all the lights on. She was still wearing her sexy gold dress, but she’d removed her shoes.

I ended the call as I stepped out and waited only long enough for Gunner to jump out. “Ruth,” I said, taking long strides up the path, and she didn’t hesitate to stand up. “What happened?”

She didn’t say anything and just threw her arms around my neck, stifling her little sniffles against my shirt. It hadn’t even been that long since she’d left, and what in the hell could have happened so quickly? What couldpossiblybe bothering her so suddenly and so badly if it wasn’t regret from what we’d basicallyjust done?

“I honestly just scared myself,” she said tearily while I stroked my hands down her back. “I thought I saw someone on the porch, but it was just that stupid rug over there.”

I glanced to one corner of the porch and saw a tall, rolled-up, shrink-wrapped rug wedged against the corner post and slumping a little. It was far enough in the corner that, if the lights were off, I could see how she could make that mistake. Hell, I wasn’t stupid, and I knew women hadto constantly watch their back for predators, so of course Ruth jumped to a conclusion like that. It was the same reason I, or my brother, or any of my male friends would never let one of our female friends walk around after dark by themselves. The same reason I needed to go with them when Ruth, Skye, and Chloe had all gone to rescue Olivia.

But she was shakingso badly. She was crying like I’d never seen her cry.

“Oh honey,” was all I could think to say.

“I’msorry,” she blurted out through a louder sob. “I just absolutelyhate…” She paused, sniffling and hitching her breath for a second. “I mean, I just hate to trouble you like this.”

I held her tighter, stretching my arms as far around her as they could go, and she was now basically walled in by my embrace. “It’s never trouble, Ruth.”

I wished I couldsaythe things that would make it obvious to her that it was never trouble. It was all I wanted to do in life anymore; just drop everything andrunwhenever she needed anything. Or better yet, never have to leave her side at all.

“It’snevertrouble,” I repeated, speaking quieter, moving one hand to stroke her cheek and then cradle the back of her head while she rested her cheek on my chest. “Ineverdon’t want to be here. Ialwayswant to be here. Especially when you’re upset or scared or anything, and even when you’re not. With you isalwaysthe place I want to be.”

She shook against me with another silent sob and hugged me tighter. “I’m so glad you’re here. I’m so, so glad you’re here.”

Maybe Ruth was just freaked out by her eyes playing tricks on her, but it felt like that triggered something worse in her. Like it wasn’t just about thinking there was an intruder lurking at her home. If it was just that, she would’ve laughed it off by now. IknewRuth. I was closer with her than anyone around here, and I knew her well enough to know it was something else.

And I was damn near convinced it was what just happened in my kitchen.

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