Page 37 of Playoff
The Blaze hadn’t seemed like a playoff contender when the season started, but after winning against Minnesota, the team that had beaten them for the Cup, they’d started to play the way everyone expected them to. The idea of being part of the playoffs again was exciting. I liked winning. I could score, but too often I’d been scoring goals in a losing cause with the LA team.
Then came our second game. Totally different. It reminded me of the games I’d become familiar with playing in LA. It had been close through two and a half periods. Then, with our shift on, they got a breakaway and scored what turned out to be the game winner.
We skated to our bench after the red light went off.
“Do your fucking job,” JJ muttered as he passed me.
I narrowed my eyes. That was the first voluntary thing he’d said to me in days. “What the hell are you talking about?”
He turned. “You weren’t in position, which led to that two-on-one. You’re not supposed to park in front of the net and let the rest of us deal with everything.”
He stepped in the bench door and slid down to the other end before I could respond. Coach then yelled at me for the same thing. Yeah, the team bonding wasn’t working with me.
The next morning, Coach kept our lines for extra practice on drills, working on my “defensive liability.” But my job was to get us goals. I wasn’t defense. And with my contract running out, I needed to post points on the board to get the best offers for next season.
Sure, there was always commentary about me being weak on defense. I could up my D-game, but it wouldn’t offset a reduction in scoring. The bottom line for teams considering me was the number of goals I’d produce.
Hockey was a business. I’d learned that early. Goals were flashy and fans liked them. Fans bought tickets and merch. Keep the fans happy, keep the team in the black. It had been decades since the other Toronto team won the Cup, and a dozen years since the Blaze had, and the fans still came. I’d stick with what I was good at.
Chapter 17
I’m not going to be bartered off
Jess
* * *
I’d booked a hotel to stay at in Vancouver. Grandma’s care facility wasn’t too far away from it, and it was closer to the airport than Port Coquitlam where her house was. I’d check on it while I was here, but with it sitting mostly empty, I didn’t want to stay there on my own.
Justin and I needed to clear it out and make a decision on what to do with it after Grandma passed. I hoped the day was long off, for my sake. She’d left it to us in her will, with me as executor. I couldn’t imagine Justin living in it, not after everything that had happened here. Me? I wasn’t sure. Until I knew Justin would be okay on his own, I went where he did, and it didn’t look like he’d be back in BC anytime soon. After he finished playing hockey, I had no idea where he’d want to live. If he didn’t want to live in BC, where would he consider home? New York? Toronto? Someplace completely different?
Once I’d settled in at the hotel, I went to see Grandma. I signed in, and an aide took me to her room. Grandma was bedbound now. The disease had moved fast, taking away her mental faculties, and I hated to think how little time she had left.
She hadn’t told me she had Alzheimer’s when I’d made the decision to go to Toronto with Justin. Just encouraged me to join him. And then, when she’d shared the diagnosis, she insisted I stay with him.
“He needs you, Jess. I’ll be fine—I have friends, and then I’ll be in a home somewhere. I’ve had a good life, and I can get your father to come when I need him.” She had to get him to come, because Mom was his whole world.
Damn it, why couldn’t Justin have been traded here, where we could be with her?
We’d done what we could. I’d spent my annual vacations here with her, and Justin had come for part of every summer, until this last one. She no longer knew us, and Justin struggled with that. On top of losing the Cup, it was more than he could handle, so he’d focused on preparing for this season, instead flying out several times over weekends.
I’d been torn between my twin’s needs and my grandmother’s. Feeling guilty no matter what I did.
Grandma looked good—as good as someone with her condition could. Justin paid a lot for this place, and they kept excellent care of their patients. Her hair was clean and styled, her clothing fresh. Really, when she was sleeping you had no idea how bad things were.
“Hey Grandma, it’s Jess.” Her head turned and her lips moved, but her eyes didn’t open. I swallowed a lump in my throat. “I flew out to visit while Justin is playing in the south. Florida, Carolina—all those warm places. Kind of envy him, eh?”
She never responded, but I still talked to her. It didn’t cost me anything, and maybe it helped.
“It’s pretty cold in Toronto. Visiting here is a break from that. Plus, I get to see you.”
It wasn’t easy, carrying on a one-sided conversation. I noticed the book on her side table. Pride and Prejudice, her favorite. I picked it up and settled in my chair to read to her.
I was sure the words still meant something to her, and I spent an hour with Elizabeth being offended by Mr. Darcy and his cold behavior. But soon enough, visiting hours were ending and I needed to go.
“Bye, Grandma. Justin sends his love, and I love you too. You’re the best.”
I swallowed around a lump in my throat as I left.
