Page 18 of Dionysus
I needed Foe to ease up on the smoking because I was high enough. Between what they were pumping into this IV and his gas, I had become sleepy, but I wanted to hear what he had to say.
“Dio, who is Boogie?”
The nigga that shot me!
“That’s who we killed, and every other muhfucka you listed on that wall is going down,” he paused. “The bitches too.”
Not Samara!Nigga, you bet not touch her.
“Dio, I love you. If none of these niggas ever tell you. I love you and I’m going to go to war behind you until you either wake from this or take your last breath. It’s Zoo over everything.”
Ilove you too, Foe, Zoo over everything.
I was now sitting in this darkness thinking about Mars. I was hoping someone would have said that they got her. I don’t know if she had truly left with the cult or gotten my letter.Samara. Mars the fuckin star.I should have acknowledged her the moment we kissed on New Year’s. I felt every spark, every I need you, and every color exuding from her.
I needed to know that she was okay, and until I did; I would have to put God on hold if he requested. I needed to know that at least I had done something right by saving her.
SAMARA
My head bobbed back and forth to the beat as my paintbrush stroked the canvas. My body met the beat as I bounced.Stroke, blue.Dab in the paint.Stroke orange.
My hips moved to the beat as I began feeling it more. I pulled a piece of the chocolate shroom from the baggie sitting on my dresser, popped it in my mouth, and chewed the bitter chocolate.
Dab in the paint.Stroke, blue.Dab in the paint. Stroke black.Dab in the paint. Stroke orange.
I swirled my hips in a circle, only to spin around to see Zaria standing there. “Oo shit!You scared me!” I laughed as I removed the headphones from my head.
Zaria’s bright smile filled the room. “Don’t let me stop you. Girl, you were moving those hips. I’m happy to see you’re in a better space. This came for you.” She said as she handed me a letter.
When I saw it was from TSU, I hurried to open the envelope. This was my chance to start something new, and I was beyondexcited. My eyes quickly scanned the paper, and I turned toward Zaria.
“What does it say?” She happily asked.
It was her being genuinely happy for me, but knowing they had rejected me didn’t mix. “I got rejected,” I said as I tossed the paper onto the bed.
Zaria’s smile changed, and so did my mood. “I’m sorry. There are so many other schools you can apply to, Mars.”
“Don’t call me that!” I snapped.
I didn’t want anyone calling me that, but Dio, and to know he wasn’t here, I didn’t want to hear it. Zaria nodded. She placed her hand on her hip. “You want to talk about it?”
I didn’t want to, but I knew I needed to. “I miss him,” I mumbled.
“I do too, but Dio would want you to be happy. I’m surprised you like his stubborn ass,” she laughed.
A giggle fell from me. “That he is. I don’t know. I feel like I should be loyal to him, although I don’t know the unknown, but another part of me is telling me to live. That is what I am afraid of.”
“Live then. Don’t be afraid to do what’s best for you. I have been in this very same position, and it took me a while and various situations to know that I wasn’t living. I learned that doing what Zaria needed to do for herself made me happy. Samara, we cannot live out of fear.”
I knew she was only trying to help. Hell, she and Chevy had done a lot for me, and I didn’t want to seem like I was ungrateful. This was my second chance at the life I never had, and I knew that I needed to be a little better at communicating, especially to those who had opened a door for me.
Zaria went to head toward the door, but I stopped her. “Hey Zaria,” I called out.
“Yes?”
“I was there the night the nursery caught fire,” I paused. “And I saw who did it. I don’t know him, but he’s out there somewhere, and it wasn’t Bishop.”
The look of concern struck Zaria’s face. I didn’t know what my confession would turn into, but I felt much better after getting that off my chest.
