Page 56 of The Deeper Game
He went back to the empty chair and used another scarf to bind my wrist even more firmly to the slats.
So all of that had just been to drive a point home?
“That’s one technique they never taught us in debate class,” I said.
He didn’t think that was funny. He kept tying me up. He wanted me all roped up. He still had that hard-on going, and I guessed he was on some sort of jag.
“You and your ski jumps and things,” he continued. “Bungie jumping. Do you see us infantilizing you by telling you what you should and shouldn’t want?”
He really wanted me to understand, but how could I? It was dangerous. Shouldn’t there be a line drawn at danger?
“Come and fuck me,” I said. “I know you want to fuck me.”
“I need to get these on before the Prime.” He continued to bind my wrist.
“Why the hurry? I’m so wet right now. It would feel so good to have you inside me.”
The truth.
“Stop it. You’re getting your tattoo.”
“You don’t have to tie me. It’s insulting.”
“Is that a Mississippi?” He tightened the scarf and then took up the tool, question in his eyes.
“Then do it,” I bit out. “If the group is getting the tattoo, I’m getting the tattoo.”
“Good.” He started up the implement.
“Put it on there,” I said, lying back. “Youwishwe were dead, motherfuckers. Just tattoo that dark wish right on me.”
“So I will.” And he started. I could feel the little needle prick and bite my skin. It hurt, but not as much as the sense that this was some kind of horrible turning point toward darkness and crashing and burning instead of a viable future.
But whatever happened, I was with my guys. I loved them.
“Put the whole goddamn thing on there. I want to die a fiery death with the same tattoo as you guys.”
“Okay, goddess.”
Needless to say, that wasn’t the answer I was fishing for.
I was hoping for something along the lines ofWe’re not going to die, Isis!
Chapter Fourteen
I closed my eyes,feeling uncomfortably in touch with all the immutable laws of the universe, especially the one where beautiful, brilliant things had to die, like comets burning out from their bright fire.
Odin had given me hiswalk awaylecture quite strongly recently—just the other day when we were out sitting on the bank. He’d pointed out a few alleys that would be good to head down if things went bad.
You walk away if you can,he’d instructed.
It was usually a dance when my guys said stuff like that, because I’d always insist that it wouldn’t come to a firefight, and they’d be like,But if it does.Like when somebody elderly makes statements about dying, and you say that’s a long way off, but you both know it really might not be.
I could feel the hole in my heart already, like they were already dead. A sob escaped my throat.
“I’m not hurting you.”
A horrible idea seized me. “Why are you so eager to get these tattoos on before the Prime? Why does it have to be before?”
