Page 106 of Forget Me Not

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Julia awoke the next morningin a cozily appointed bedchamber in the family wing of Lampton Park to find a pleasing bouquet of forget-me-nots in a vase on the bedside table. They’d not been there the night before when Lucas had read to her. She must have fallen asleep before he’d finished, because she didn’t remember his leaving. Though she was reluctant to admit it to herself, she was a little disappointed to not find him wrapped in a blanket, sleeping beside her as he’d done a couple of times at Brier Hill. She missed the way his wavy hair turned into a chaotic mess during the night and the way sleep relaxed his face into a look of boyish softness. She missed the way he would smile at her when he awoke and saw her there.

He loves you, Our Julia.The Gents had each said that again and again.

She reached out and brushed her fingers over the petals of the flowers he’d left for her. He truly was thoughtful. He always had been, truth be told. Sometimes, he was simply... forgetful.

But, then, she was often distrustful. They both had their shortcomings. All couples must struggle to adapt to each other’s weaknesses. If only Mother were still alive. She would have words of encouragement and advice, and she would offer them with the gentleness Julia so desperately needed.

She forced herself from the comfort of her warm blankets. The floor was cold against the soles of her feet. Winter was all but upon them.

She retrieved her silver hairbrush from the top of the dressing table and crossed with it to the window. Lampton Park was a beautiful estate; she’d always thought so. She drank in the sight of it while she brushed the night’s snarls from her hair.

Someday this would be her home. How she wanted it to be a happy one.

A light knock echoed off her door. Julia snatched her shawl from the back of the dressing table chair and wrapped it around herself. “Come in.”

She had expected one of the maids, had hoped for Lucas, but had not been at all prepared to see her mother-in-law step inside. “Lady Lampton.”

The lady assumed a theatrically straight face. “Lady Jonquil.”

Heavens, that sounded strange. She’d always been called Julia by this lady who was almost as much a mother to her as her own mother had been.

“Perhaps, Julia,” Lady Lampton said, “you might consider calling me something more familiar now that we are truly family.”

“I would like that,” she said. “But I don’t know what I would call you.”

“When my mother-in-law was still living, I called her Mother Jonquil.” She set her arm around Julia’s shoulders and led her back to the window. “I think, though, if you called me that, I would be put too much in mind of that lady to remember to answer to it. Mother Lampton might work for the nonce, but once you have inherited the title of Lady Lampton, it would be too confusing, I think.”

“Perhaps, since I haven’t a mother living to makethisconfusing, I might call you simply Mother.” She watched her nervously.

“Oh, my dear girl. I would be so very honored if you did.”

Warmth spread through Julia’s heart. “I have missed having a mother. And I have needed one so desperately, these past months especially.”

“‘These past months’ are the reason I am here just now.” Lady Lampton—no,Mother—motioned to the window seat, then sat there beside Julia. “We did not do you two any favors tossing you into this marriage so quickly and with so little warning. I feel I ought to have realized that without your mother at your side, you would have been rather lost beginning this new chapter of your life.”

“I confess I have been in a perpetual state of confusion.”

Mother set her hand atop Julia’s. “Lucas is a very intelligent young gentleman, but he too often hides it, sometimes entirely.”

“His friends have told me that he is, by all accounts, something of an idiot.” She smiled a little. “But they love him.”

“So do I,” Mother said fondly, softly.

Julia’s chin quivered a little despite her best efforts. “So do I.” Without warning, tears pooled. “I don’t know what to... do with that though. I have lost so many people I love. I’ve been disappointed by them, abandoned by them. Loving people terrifies me.”

“I do not think it is loving people that scares you. It’s losing the people you love.”

Julia brushed at a tear. “I’ve made too many goodbyes, both figurative and literal. My heart cannot endure another.”

“Then, dear, stop pushing him away.Youare the one who keeps saying goodbye now. It is time to claim the unbreakable connection you have deserved all your life. He came after you. He has continually reached out, has pledged to make things right, to continue doing better. And, Julia, dear, he loves you.”

“I think so too.”

“I know my boy. A mother sees these things.” She gave Julia a linen handkerchief. “He loves you. And while he will not be a perfect husband, he will be a loving one and a tenderhearted one and a loyal, supportive one.”

“Do you think he is happy to be married to me?”

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