Page 24 of Forget Me Not

He moved enough to be looking more directly at her. It would be difficult to avoid his gaze now. “We are not going to change our parents’ minds on this matter. Before last night, I tried. Believe me, I did.”

She knew he had. He might not have convinced his father to change course, but he’d certainly made his feelings known.

“In the end, it was futile,” Lucas said. “I had to finally admit this battle cannot be won. But I could, at the very least, make certain you were treated fairly in the marriage settlements.”

“A guarantee of pin money doesn’t make misery easier to face,” she whispered.

“Do you truly think you’ll be miserable?”

She met his confused gaze and seized a surge of courage. “Do you love me?”

He took her hand in his. “I’ve always loved you, Julia.”

“I don’t mean as an honorary younger sister or a one-time playmate,” she said. “Do youloveme? Do you love me as a husband ought to love his wife?”

He didn’t answer. She didn’t truly need him to. She already knew the answer. She hadheardhis answer from outside his father’s library.

She slipped her hand free. “There are few things more miserable, Lucas, than daily living the death of a dream.”

“This was not my choice,” he said, a little defensive, a little pleading.

She stood and pulled her hood over her head. “We all make the choices we can.”

“Truly, Julia, I didn’t choose this.” He looked up at her from his perch on the rock. “I never would have.”

Did he mean he would never have chosen a surprise marriage he’d not been consulted on or that he would never choose to marryher? Both, she felt certain. This was a terribly crumbly foundation on which to build a marriage.

“Maybe you should have stayed on the Continent a little longer,” she said. “None of this would be happening.”

“Not yet, at least,” he added.

His resignation was not helping her outlook. She wrapped her arms around her middle and stepped down from the rock onto the leaf-strewn path.

He rose as well. “What do you mean to do now?”

“I am contemplating the very tempting possibility of simply not being here on our wedding day. I cannot be forced to marry you if no one can find me.”

“You’re running away from home?” He asked the question as if it were a great joke.

Perhaps she had begun the threat in jest, but the idea was proving increasingly appealing. The mail coach passed through Collingham on a relatively regular schedule. If she purchased herself a seat on it, she could be out of the county before anyone even knew she was gone. She would be alone, yes, with no idea where she would go or how she would support herself, but at least she wouldn’t be forced into a marriage she didn’t want by a father who didn’t seem to care.

“Julia.” Lucas sounded worried. “You cannot be contemplating this madcap idea in earnest.”

“Desperate circumstances require a degree of rashness.”

“Julia.” He reached for her, his expression one of near panic.

She stepped out of his reach. “I am going to take a walk.”

“Towhere?” he pressed.

“Only along the riverbank.” She sighed. “Even if I wanted to run away, I’m hardly in a position to do so right this moment.”

He did not appear appeased. “Please, promise me you won’t run off.”

Perhaps he was not the only one who had options.

“You’ve chosen your response to this mess of an arranged marriage,” she said. “I will choose mine.”

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