Page 94 of Forget Me Not

“We’ve dealt her a felling blow.” Heaviness pulled at every feature of Lord Farland’s weary face. “I hadn’t realized the full impact of it until I saw her standing in my book room a week ago. I thought I was doing what was best for her by insisting she accept the betrothal I’d arranged. But it’s broken her, Lucas. Even in her quietest moments the past years, her eyes have still been lively and sharp, her expression hopeful, if a little guarded. All of that is gone now. We’ve broken her.”

“I won’t give up on my Julia. I will come back here every day for the rest of my life if need be. I will tell her through her closed door how much she means to me, how much I miss her. Even if she never opens that door, I will still be there.”

A fleeting smile tugged at his father-in-law’s mouth. “I can ask her if she’ll let you talk with her.”

“Thank you.”

But when they reached Julia’s bedchamber door, she didn’t answer her father’s knock.

“Julia?” Lord Farland called out gently but firmly. “You have a visitor.”

Only silence.

“Could she have slipped out?” Lucas asked.

Lord Farland shook his head. “She hasn’t left her room even once since returning. I cannot imagine she would do so now.” He pushed out a breath, then fished something from his pocket. A key. “If she won’t see you, you have to honor that.”

Lucas nodded. “Of course.”

Lord Farland unlocked Julia’s door and quickly surveyed the inside. “Julia?” He laughed lightly and looked back at Lucas. “She’s asleep.”

At least she hadn’t been ignoring him. This time. “May I leave something on her bedside table? I promise not to wake her.”

With a nod, Lord Farland motioned him inside. “Close the door on your way out.”

“I will.” He closed it on his way in as well. Julia clearly valued her privacy; he didn’t mean to impose upon it even more than he was.

He pulled from his jacket pocket the book he’d brought from Brier Hill, the one he’d read to her now and then as she’d fallen asleep. She’d left it behind. Her bedside table here was empty except for the miniature of her and Charlotte when they were tiny. Lucas set the book down.

His heart ached as he turned slowly to look at her. How had he managed to make such a mull of everything? He’d told himself if she just smiled and laughed enough, if he found ways to bring happiness into their home, all would be well. Until she’d left, he’d not realized she needed—heneeded—so much more than that.

She clearly hadn’t felt how deeply he loved her, more even than he’d imagined he would love his wife. But he did. He loved her, and he feared he’d well and truly lost her.

She was curled in a loose ball atop her blankets, wearing the same flowing white dress she’d worn the day he and Kes had stumbled upon her in the Brier Hill book room. She’d been so flustered, convinced she looked a fright. He’d been hard-pressed not to grin. She’d been utterly adorable.

Lucas fetched a throw and laid it over her. She stirred a little but didn’t wake.

He sat on the bed beside her. “My sweet Julia.” He gently brushed a tendril of hair from her beloved face. “I miss you.”

She took a quick, quivering breath, precisely the sort one pulled in when startling awake. But her eyes remained closed.

“Idolove you, Julia. I’ve loved you all my life.”

Her eyelids fluttered a bit open. He held his breath.

“Lucas,” she said softly, no hint of unhappiness in her voice.

“Good morning, my love.” He bent over her hand and kissed it. “You’ve fallen back asleep.”

Her heavy lids closed once more. “I’ve been so tired.”

“You’re not ill, are you?”

“I don’t think so.” Her voice was weak but not worryingly so. “I suspect Digby is simply exhausting. I’m still recovering from two days of his exclusive company.”

Lucas could smile at that. He likewise celebrated the fact that she wasn’t tossing him out. Either she wasn’t entirely awake, or she didn’t hate him as much as he feared.

“I hadn’t intended to wake you, sweetheart. I only paused to fetch a blanket so you wouldn’t grow cold.”

---